Arsenic and Old Lace quotes

View Quote Certainly there are thirteen bodies in the cellar and there are hundreds more in the attic!

View Quote [watching the fighting, lighting up a cigarette] Go on — fight, fight. I don't care. [watching the police trying to bring down Jonathan with a shoe] Oh, don't do that. It never works. [Jonathan collapses] What do you know? it worked!

View Quote [last lines] No, no. I'm not a Brewster. I'm the son of a sea-cook! Ha! Ha! Chaaaaarrrge!

View Quote We were married today. We were going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Your brother tries to kill me. A taxi is waiting and now you want to sleep on a window seat. You can take the honeymoon, your wedding ring, your taxi, your window seat, and put 'em in a barrel and push 'em all over Niagara Falls!

View Quote We better not leave the car parked in the street; it might be against the law.

View Quote [repeated line] Go to bed, Aunt Abby!

View Quote [to Mortimer] If you tell O'Hara what's in the window seat, I'll tell him what's in the cellar. There's an elderly gentleman down there who seems to be very dead.

View Quote This time, I want the face of an absolute non-entity!

View Quote The home of my youth... As a child, I wanted to escape it. Now, I want to escape back into it.

View Quote CHAAARGE!!!

View Quote I shall be in my office vetoing some bills.

View Quote Dr. Einstein: At least people in plays act like they've got sense.
Mortimer: Oh, you think so? Did you ever see anybody in a play act like they got any intelligence?
Dr. Einstein: [agonizing] How can anybody be so stupid!

View Quote Elaine: But Mortimer, you're going to love me for my mind, too.
Mortimer: One thing at a time!

View Quote Mortimer: Yeah, yeah, I know that bromide. Something borrowed, something blue - old, new! Rice and old shoes, carry you over the threshold, Niagara Falls — all the silly tripe I've made fun of for years. Is this what I've come to? I can't go through with it. I won't marry you and that's that!
Elaine: [adoring] Yes, Mortimer.
Mortimer: What do you mean, "Yes, Mortimer"? Aren't you insulted? Aren't you going to cry? Aren't you going to make a scene?
Elaine: [adoring] No, Mortimer.
Mortimer: And don't "No, Mortimer" me either! Don't... Don't you see, marriage is a superstition, it... It's old-fashioned, it's... I... Ohhhh...
[He kisses her and hauls her into the marriage license office]

View Quote Teddy Brewster: I must be catching cold.
Abby Brewster: No, dear, it was Reverend Harper who sneezed.