Animal House quotes

View Quote Guy with guitar: [singing] I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I ga...
Bluto: [grabs the guitar and smashes it against the wall repeatedly, then hands the splinters back] Sorry.

View Quote [Clorette has just passed out]
Larry's evil conscience: **** her. **** her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Larry's good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Larry's evil conscience: Aw, don't listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Larry's good conscience: If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever... [Larry gets up] I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Larry's evil conscience: You homo.

View Quote Otter: Mrs. Wormer, I'm so glad you could come.
Marion Wormer: Cut the crap. Give me a drink.

View Quote Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure!
Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon: I thought you were pre-med.
Otter: What's the difference?
Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did. [winks at Dean Wormer] But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
[Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]
Greg: Order!
Dean Wormer: You've done it this time buster! No more Delta! I'm calling the national office! I'm going to revoke your charter! And if you wiseguys do one more thing, one more, I'm going to kick you out of college! No more fun of any kind!

View Quote Neidermeyer [after Delta house is closed] How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?

View Quote Otter: Evening.
Shelly: I'm Shelly Dubinsky, Fawn's roommate.
Otter: I'm Frank Lymon from Amherst, Fawn's fianc?. Actually, we're engaged to be engaged. What's wrong with everyone here?
Shelly: Why don't we sit down, Frank? I don't know how to tell you...so l'll just tell you. Fawn's dead.
Otter: She's dead? [Laughs] Did she put you up to this? That minx. What a lively sense of humour. [Shelly hands him a newspaper clipping] "Sophomore dies in kiln explosion"? Oh, my God!
Shelly: I'm terribly sorry, Frank.
Otter: I just talked to her last week. She was gonna make a pot for me.
Shelly: If there's anything I can do....
Otter: You're so nice. I really shouldn't impose on you.
Shelly: No, really. Anything.
Otter: I don't think I should be alone tonight. Would you go out with me?
Shelly: I'll get my coat.
Otter: And could you get three dates for my friends?

View Quote [Finding themselves in an all-black club]
Otter: We are gonna die.
Larry: Hey Boon, we're the only white people here.

View Quote Meaner dude: If I was in your shoes, I'd be...
Boon: Leaving! What a good idea.

View Quote Pinto: I was thinking, maybe we could get some beer.
Clorette: Nah, not tonight. Besides, you might get lucky without it.

View Quote Larry: Before we go any further, there's something l have to tell you. I lied to you. I've never done this before.
Clorette: You've never made out with a girl before?
Larry: I've never done what I think we're going to do in a minute. I sort of did once--
Clorette: That's okay. Neither have I. besides, I lied to too.
Larry: Yeah? What about?
Clorette: I'm only 13!