Multiple Characters quotes
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Mandy Pepperidge: Otter, don't flatter yourself. It really wasn't that great.
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D-Day: We have an old saying in Delta House: don't get mad, get even.
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D-Day: Ramming speed!!
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Marion Wormer: [to the mayor] You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine.
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Mean dude: Do you mind if we dance with your dates?
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Jennings: Now, what can we say of John Milton's Paradise Lost? It's a long poem, written a long time ago, and I'm sure a lot of you have difficulty understanding exactly what Milton was trying to say. Certainly we know that he was trying to describe the struggle between good and evil, right? Okay. The most intriguing character, as we all know from our reading, was...Satan. Now was Milton trying to tell us that being bad was more fun than being good? [no response] OK, don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible. [Bell rings, students rise to leave] But that doesn't relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I'm waiting for reports from some of you... Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job!
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Clorette De Pasto: Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month. We have to get married.
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Boon: Let's take the cheese.
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Neidermeyer: Hi there, fellows. Meet Ken and Lonny.
Larry: Larry.
Neidermeyer: Ken, Lonny, l'd like you to meet Mohammet Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton. Grab a seat and make yourselves at home. Don't be shy about helping yourselves to punch and cookies.
Larry: Larry.
Neidermeyer: Ken, Lonny, l'd like you to meet Mohammet Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton. Grab a seat and make yourselves at home. Don't be shy about helping yourselves to punch and cookies.
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Greg: I'm not going to say Omega's the best house on campus, but a lot of outstanding guys figure they'll pledge Omega or won't pledge at all. We do have more than our share of campus leaders, something that never looks bad on your permanent record.
Chip: Sure. Everybody says Omega's the best, but I hate to seem...you know, pushy.
Greg: Let the unacceptable candidates worry about that, because after tonight, they're....
Chip: Sure. Everybody says Omega's the best, but I hate to seem...you know, pushy.
Greg: Let the unacceptable candidates worry about that, because after tonight, they're....
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Larry: I hate this.
Kent: No sweat. My brother Fred was a Delta. That makes me a legacy. They have to take me. It's their law. Don't worry. I'll put in a good word for you.
Larry: Great. I heard Delta's the worst house on campus.
Kent: No sweat. My brother Fred was a Delta. That makes me a legacy. They have to take me. It's their law. Don't worry. I'll put in a good word for you.
Larry: Great. I heard Delta's the worst house on campus.
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Hoover: Have you seen Boon?
Katy: He disappeared when we got here. He's probably upstairs talking to Otter.
Hoover: No doubt.
Katy: [to Larry] They're well-known homosexuals.
Hoover: Have another beer, Larry. She's just kidding.
Katy: He disappeared when we got here. He's probably upstairs talking to Otter.
Hoover: No doubt.
Katy: [to Larry] They're well-known homosexuals.
Hoover: Have another beer, Larry. She's just kidding.
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Boon: You going out tonight, Otter?
Otter: Uh-huh.
Boon: Norma?
Otter: No, let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabos.
Boon: Beverly!
Otter: No, But you're getting warmer. Let me give you another hint: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!"
Boon: Marlene! You're gonna pork Marlene Desmond!
Otter: Pork?
Boon: You're gonna hump her brains out.
Otter: Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience.
Otter: Uh-huh.
Boon: Norma?
Otter: No, let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabos.
Boon: Beverly!
Otter: No, But you're getting warmer. Let me give you another hint: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!"
Boon: Marlene! You're gonna pork Marlene Desmond!
Otter: Pork?
Boon: You're gonna hump her brains out.
Otter: Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience.
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Hoover: Kent is a legacy, Otter. His brother was a '59, Fred Dorfman.
Flounder: He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically.
Otter: Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case.
Otter & Boon: Like Fred.
Flounder: He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically.
Otter: Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case.
Otter & Boon: Like Fred.
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Boon: Where are you going?
Katy: Home.
Boon: We just got here.
Katy: No, Boon, you just got here. I've been downstairs for an hour entertaining some kid from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas.
Boon: Maybe we could drive up to your folks' place this weekend.
Katy: Oh, fabulous. My car filled with your beer buddies going up to empty my parents' liquor cabinet. It's too depressing to think about.
Boon: No! Just gonna be you and me. And Otter and another girl.
Katy: Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?
Boon: What do you mean?
Katy: Hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.
Boon: No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.
Katy: Boon, I think I'm in love with a r***rd.
Boon: Is he bigger than me?
Katy: Home.
Boon: We just got here.
Katy: No, Boon, you just got here. I've been downstairs for an hour entertaining some kid from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas.
Boon: Maybe we could drive up to your folks' place this weekend.
Katy: Oh, fabulous. My car filled with your beer buddies going up to empty my parents' liquor cabinet. It's too depressing to think about.
Boon: No! Just gonna be you and me. And Otter and another girl.
Katy: Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?
Boon: What do you mean?
Katy: Hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.
Boon: No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.
Katy: Boon, I think I'm in love with a r***rd.
Boon: Is he bigger than me?
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Dean Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
Greg: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.
Dean Wormer: Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
Greg: You're talking about Delta, sir.
Dean Wormer: Of course I'm talking about Delta, you TWERP! This year is going to be different. This year we are going to grab the bull by the BALLS and kick those punks off campus.
Greg: What do you intend to do sir? Delta's already on probation.
Dean Wormer: They are?
Greg: Yes, sir.
Dean Wormer: Oh. Then as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!
Greg: Double Secret Probation, Sir?
Dean Wormer: There is a little-known codicil in the Faber College constitution which gives the dean unlimited power to preserve order in time of campus emergency. Find me a way to revoke Delta's charter. You live next door. Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit, just like you, right? [Greg nods] The time has come for someone to put their foot down. And that foot is me.
Greg: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.
Dean Wormer: Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
Greg: You're talking about Delta, sir.
Dean Wormer: Of course I'm talking about Delta, you TWERP! This year is going to be different. This year we are going to grab the bull by the BALLS and kick those punks off campus.
Greg: What do you intend to do sir? Delta's already on probation.
Dean Wormer: They are?
Greg: Yes, sir.
Dean Wormer: Oh. Then as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!
Greg: Double Secret Probation, Sir?
Dean Wormer: There is a little-known codicil in the Faber College constitution which gives the dean unlimited power to preserve order in time of campus emergency. Find me a way to revoke Delta's charter. You live next door. Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit, just like you, right? [Greg nods] The time has come for someone to put their foot down. And that foot is me.
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Bluto: Kroger, your Delta Tau Chi name is Pinto.
Larry: Why Pinto?
Bluto: [burps] Why not?
Kent: What's my Delta Tau Chi name?
Bluto: Dorfman, l've given this a lot of thought. From now on...your name is Flounder.
Larry: Why Pinto?
Bluto: [burps] Why not?
Kent: What's my Delta Tau Chi name?
Bluto: Dorfman, l've given this a lot of thought. From now on...your name is Flounder.
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Neidermeyer: We now consecrate the bond of obedience. Assume the position.
[Hits Chip with a paddle]
Chip: Thank you, sir. May I have another?
[Hits Chip with a paddle]
Chip: Thank you, sir. May I have another?
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Neidermeyer: Dress that line. Dress that line, mister! Dress that line, soldier. Mister, hold my mount. [to Kent] You fat, disgusting slob! You're a goddamned disgrace!
Boon: [watching from afar] A vicious mother, isn't he?
Otter: He can't do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.
Neidermeyer: [to Kent] Redo those buttons! Dress that belt buckle! Straighten that cap! And goddamn it, tuck up those pyjamas! Attention! Eyes front! What's that on your chest, mister?
Kent: It's a pledge pin, sir.
Neidermeyer: A pledge pin! On your uniform?
...
Neidermeyer: Just tell me, mister, what fraternity would pledge a man like you?
Kent: It's a Delta pin, sir.
Boon: [watching from afar] A vicious mother, isn't he?
Otter: He can't do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.
Neidermeyer: [to Kent] Redo those buttons! Dress that belt buckle! Straighten that cap! And goddamn it, tuck up those pyjamas! Attention! Eyes front! What's that on your chest, mister?
Kent: It's a pledge pin, sir.
Neidermeyer: A pledge pin! On your uniform?
...
Neidermeyer: Just tell me, mister, what fraternity would pledge a man like you?
Kent: It's a Delta pin, sir.
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Otter: [about Niedermeyer] He can't do that do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.
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Boon: [to Katy] I want you to fix Pinto up, but it's got to be a very special girl.
Larry: Look, you don't have to...
Boon: Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.
Katy: You mean you want someone who'll screw on the first date.
Boon: Well put. You see, Pinto's never been laid.
Larry: Hey!
Boon: What'd I say?
Larry: Look, you don't have to...
Boon: Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.
Katy: You mean you want someone who'll screw on the first date.
Boon: Well put. You see, Pinto's never been laid.
Larry: Hey!
Boon: What'd I say?
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Jennings: Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.
Boon: How long you been workin' on it?
Jennings: Four and a half years.
Larry: It must be very good.
Jennings: It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot?
Boon: Yeah.
Jennings: You ever smoked before?
Boon: Sure.
Katy: When did you ever smoke pot?
Boon: I've done a lot of things you don't know about.
Boon: How long you been workin' on it?
Jennings: Four and a half years.
Larry: It must be very good.
Jennings: It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot?
Boon: Yeah.
Jennings: You ever smoked before?
Boon: Sure.
Katy: When did you ever smoke pot?
Boon: I've done a lot of things you don't know about.
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Larry: [Handed his first joint] I won't go schizo, will I?
Jennings: It's a distinct possibility.
Jennings: It's a distinct possibility.
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Larry: [to Jennings, while high] Okay. That means that our whole solar system could be, like one tiny atom in the fingernail of some other giant being. [Jennings nods] This is too much! That means one tiny atom in my fingernail could be--
Jennings: Could be one little tiny universe.
Larry: Could I buy some pot from you?
Jennings: Could be one little tiny universe.
Larry: Could I buy some pot from you?
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[Flounder has just fired a gun near Neidermeyer's horse, and the horse has dropped dead]
Bluto: Holy shit!
D-Day: There were blanks in that gun!
Flounder: I didn't even point the gun at him!
Bluto: HOLY SHIT!
D-Day: [checks the gun] There WERE blanks in that gun!
Flounder: Maybe he had a heart attack.
Bluto: HOLY SHIT!
[The three glance at each other in terror, then run screaming]
Bluto: Holy shit!
D-Day: There were blanks in that gun!
Flounder: I didn't even point the gun at him!
Bluto: HOLY SHIT!
D-Day: [checks the gun] There WERE blanks in that gun!
Flounder: Maybe he had a heart attack.
Bluto: HOLY SHIT!
[The three glance at each other in terror, then run screaming]
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Mayor Carmine De Pasto: If you want this year's homecoming parade in my town, you have to pay for it.
Dean Wormer: Carmine, I don't think it's right that you should extort money from the college.
Mayor Carmine De Pasto: Look, these parades you throw are very expensive. You using my police, my sanitation people, and my Oldsmobiles free of charge. So, if you mention extortion again, I'll have your legs broken.
Dean Wormer: Carmine, I don't think it's right that you should extort money from the college.
Mayor Carmine De Pasto: Look, these parades you throw are very expensive. You using my police, my sanitation people, and my Oldsmobiles free of charge. So, if you mention extortion again, I'll have your legs broken.
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Otter: Mandy, Mandy Pepperidge. I haven't seen you since we...
Mandy: Go away!
Otter: I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat?
Mandy: Do I have to leave?
Otter: Is this any way to treat an intimate friend?
Mandy: Go away!
Otter: I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat?
Mandy: Do I have to leave?
Otter: Is this any way to treat an intimate friend?
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Otter: Bluto! I think you know everybody here.
Mandy: Greg, can't you--
Otter: Don't worry. Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth.
Greg: Don't you have any respect for yourself?
Babs: This is absolutely gross! That boy is a P-I-G, pig!
Bluto: See if you can guess what I am now. [puts mashed potatoes in his mouth, then squeezes his cheeks, spraying them] I'm a zit. Get it?
Greg: All right, you bastard. Let's go, right here!
Mandy: Greg, can't you--
Otter: Don't worry. Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth.
Greg: Don't you have any respect for yourself?
Babs: This is absolutely gross! That boy is a P-I-G, pig!
Bluto: See if you can guess what I am now. [puts mashed potatoes in his mouth, then squeezes his cheeks, spraying them] I'm a zit. Get it?
Greg: All right, you bastard. Let's go, right here!
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Hoover: We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the Jewish house and they said that every one of our answers on the Psych test was wrong.
Boon: Every one? [looks at Bluto and D-Day] Those assholes must have stolen the wrong ****ing exam!
Boon: Every one? [looks at Bluto and D-Day] Those assholes must have stolen the wrong ****ing exam!
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Dean Wormer: Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter: What a tool.
Dean Wormer: I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter: Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Wormer: Put a sock in it, son, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.
Otter: What a tool.
Dean Wormer: I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter: Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Wormer: Put a sock in it, son, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.
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Otter: You guys up for a toga party?
Bluto: Toga! Toga!
Otter: Ah, I think they like the idea, Hoov. Note: Bluto's "Toga! Toga!" is ranked #80 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.
Bluto: Toga! Toga!
Otter: Ah, I think they like the idea, Hoov. Note: Bluto's "Toga! Toga!" is ranked #80 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.
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Boon: It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party.
Katy: Honestly, Boon, you're twenty-one years old. In six months you're going to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cute, but I think I'll pass this time.
Boon: Want me to go alone?
Katy: Baby, I don't want you to go at all.
Boon: It's a fraternity party, I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it?
Katy: I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend.
Boon: That's funny. Very funny.
Katy: Honestly, Boon, you're twenty-one years old. In six months you're going to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cute, but I think I'll pass this time.
Boon: Want me to go alone?
Katy: Baby, I don't want you to go at all.
Boon: It's a fraternity party, I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it?
Katy: I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend.
Boon: That's funny. Very funny.
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Otter: Flounder, I am appointing you pledge representative to the social committee.
Flounder: Gee Otter, thanks. What do I have to do?
Otter: It means you have to drive us to the Food King.
Flounder: Gee Otter, thanks. What do I have to do?
Otter: It means you have to drive us to the Food King.
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Otter: [in the supermarket vegetable section] Mine's bigger than that.
Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him]
Otter: My cu****ber. It's bigger. I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
Otter: Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter.
Marion Wormer: My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer.
Otter: Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber.
Marion Wormer: How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. You still want to show me your cu****ber?
Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him]
Otter: My cu****ber. It's bigger. I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
Otter: Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter.
Marion Wormer: My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer.
Otter: Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber.
Marion Wormer: How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. You still want to show me your cu****ber?
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Guy with guitar: [singing] I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I ga...
Bluto: [grabs the guitar and smashes it against the wall repeatedly, then hands the splinters back] Sorry.
Bluto: [grabs the guitar and smashes it against the wall repeatedly, then hands the splinters back] Sorry.
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[Clorette has just passed out]
Larry's evil conscience: **** her. **** her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Larry's good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Larry's evil conscience: Aw, don't listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Larry's good conscience: If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever... [Larry gets up] I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Larry's evil conscience: You homo.
Larry's evil conscience: **** her. **** her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Larry's good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Larry's evil conscience: Aw, don't listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Larry's good conscience: If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever... [Larry gets up] I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Larry's evil conscience: You homo.
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Otter: Mrs. Wormer, I'm so glad you could come.
Marion Wormer: Cut the crap. Give me a drink.
Marion Wormer: Cut the crap. Give me a drink.
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Neidermeyer: The following charges are brought: First, that the Delta house did knowingly violate the rules governing pledge recruitment by serving alcohol to freshmen during pledge week and after established drinking hours.
Hoover: I'd like to address these charges one at a time, if l may.
Dean Wormer: You'll get your chance, smart guy. [to Neidermeyer] Get on with it.
Neidermeyer: Second, that for the fifth consecutive semester, Delta has achieved a deficient aggregate grade point average.
Hoover: Half the houses didn't make grades.
Dean Wormer: You will speak when you're told to, and not before! [to Neidermeyer] Read.
Neidermeyer: Third, that the Delta fraternity routinely provided dangerous narcotic diet pills to its members during--
Hoover: That's not true!
Dean Wormer: Not another word!
Neidermeyer: During midterm examination week. And most recently...that a Roman toga party was held from which we have received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.
Hoover: I'd like to address these charges one at a time, if l may.
Dean Wormer: You'll get your chance, smart guy. [to Neidermeyer] Get on with it.
Neidermeyer: Second, that for the fifth consecutive semester, Delta has achieved a deficient aggregate grade point average.
Hoover: Half the houses didn't make grades.
Dean Wormer: You will speak when you're told to, and not before! [to Neidermeyer] Read.
Neidermeyer: Third, that the Delta fraternity routinely provided dangerous narcotic diet pills to its members during--
Hoover: That's not true!
Dean Wormer: Not another word!
Neidermeyer: During midterm examination week. And most recently...that a Roman toga party was held from which we have received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.
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Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure!
Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon: I thought you were pre-med.
Otter: What's the difference?
Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did. [winks at Dean Wormer] But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
[Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]
Greg: Order!
Dean Wormer: You've done it this time buster! No more Delta! I'm calling the national office! I'm going to revoke your charter! And if you wiseguys do one more thing, one more, I'm going to kick you out of college! No more fun of any kind!
Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon: I thought you were pre-med.
Otter: What's the difference?
Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did. [winks at Dean Wormer] But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
[Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]
Greg: Order!
Dean Wormer: You've done it this time buster! No more Delta! I'm calling the national office! I'm going to revoke your charter! And if you wiseguys do one more thing, one more, I'm going to kick you out of college! No more fun of any kind!
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Neidermeyer [after Delta house is closed] How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?
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Boon: Jesus. What's going on?
Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal.
Bluto: They took the bar! The whole ****ing bar!
[Otter grabs a bottle of whiskey and throws it to Bluto, who chugs it all]
Bluto: Thanks. I needed that.
Hoover: Christ. This is ridiculous. What are we going to do?
Otter & Boon: Road trip.
Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal.
Bluto: They took the bar! The whole ****ing bar!
[Otter grabs a bottle of whiskey and throws it to Bluto, who chugs it all]
Bluto: Thanks. I needed that.
Hoover: Christ. This is ridiculous. What are we going to do?
Otter & Boon: Road trip.
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Otter: Evening.
Shelly: I'm Shelly Dubinsky, Fawn's roommate.
Otter: I'm Frank Lymon from Amherst, Fawn's fianc?. Actually, we're engaged to be engaged. What's wrong with everyone here?
Shelly: Why don't we sit down, Frank? I don't know how to tell you...so l'll just tell you. Fawn's dead.
Otter: She's dead? [Laughs] Did she put you up to this? That minx. What a lively sense of humour. [Shelly hands him a newspaper clipping] "Sophomore dies in kiln explosion"? Oh, my God!
Shelly: I'm terribly sorry, Frank.
Otter: I just talked to her last week. She was gonna make a pot for me.
Shelly: If there's anything I can do....
Otter: You're so nice. I really shouldn't impose on you.
Shelly: No, really. Anything.
Otter: I don't think I should be alone tonight. Would you go out with me?
Shelly: I'll get my coat.
Otter: And could you get three dates for my friends?
Shelly: I'm Shelly Dubinsky, Fawn's roommate.
Otter: I'm Frank Lymon from Amherst, Fawn's fianc?. Actually, we're engaged to be engaged. What's wrong with everyone here?
Shelly: Why don't we sit down, Frank? I don't know how to tell you...so l'll just tell you. Fawn's dead.
Otter: She's dead? [Laughs] Did she put you up to this? That minx. What a lively sense of humour. [Shelly hands him a newspaper clipping] "Sophomore dies in kiln explosion"? Oh, my God!
Shelly: I'm terribly sorry, Frank.
Otter: I just talked to her last week. She was gonna make a pot for me.
Shelly: If there's anything I can do....
Otter: You're so nice. I really shouldn't impose on you.
Shelly: No, really. Anything.
Otter: I don't think I should be alone tonight. Would you go out with me?
Shelly: I'll get my coat.
Otter: And could you get three dates for my friends?
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[Finding themselves in an all-black club]
Otter: We are gonna die.
Larry: Hey Boon, we're the only white people here.
Otter: We are gonna die.
Larry: Hey Boon, we're the only white people here.
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D-Day: Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it.
Otter: Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You ****ed up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.
Flounder: [crying] That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred?
Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car.
Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto: [thrusting six-pack into Flounder's hands] My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.
D-Day: [firing up blow-torch] There you go now, just leave everything to me.
Otter: Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You ****ed up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.
Flounder: [crying] That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred?
Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car.
Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto: [thrusting six-pack into Flounder's hands] My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.
D-Day: [firing up blow-torch] There you go now, just leave everything to me.
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Dean Wormer: Where are the other two - Stratton and Schoenstein?
Hoover: We can't find them, sir. We looked everywhere, but-
Dean Wormer: Never mind. Did you boys see your grade point averages yet?
Hoover: They're not posted yet, sir.
Dean Wormer: I've seen them. Mr. Kroger, two C's, two D's and an F - that's a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations, Kroger, you're at the top of the Delta pledge class.
[Bluto gives Kroger a congratulatory nudge]
Dean Wormer: Mr. Dorfman.
Flounder: Hellooooo.
Dean Wormer: 0.2. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta House - 1.6. Four C's and an F. A fine example you set. Daniel Simpson Day has no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu- [looks up to see that Bluto has stuck pencils up his nose] Mr. Blutarsky. Zero POINT zero. Now I want you to tell Mr. Stratton and Mr. Schoenstein exactly what I'm about to tell you right now.
Hoover: And what's that, sir?
Dean Wormer: You're out! Finished at Faber! Expelled! I want you off this campus at 9:00 Monday morning! And I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I have notified your local draft boards and told them that you are now all, ALL eligible for military service.
[Flounder's mouth flutters]
Dean Wormer: Well? [Flounder opens his mouth a bit] WELL? [Flounder opens his mouth some more] OUT WITH IT! [Flounder vomits on Dean Wormer]
Hoover: We can't find them, sir. We looked everywhere, but-
Dean Wormer: Never mind. Did you boys see your grade point averages yet?
Hoover: They're not posted yet, sir.
Dean Wormer: I've seen them. Mr. Kroger, two C's, two D's and an F - that's a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations, Kroger, you're at the top of the Delta pledge class.
[Bluto gives Kroger a congratulatory nudge]
Dean Wormer: Mr. Dorfman.
Flounder: Hellooooo.
Dean Wormer: 0.2. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta House - 1.6. Four C's and an F. A fine example you set. Daniel Simpson Day has no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu- [looks up to see that Bluto has stuck pencils up his nose] Mr. Blutarsky. Zero POINT zero. Now I want you to tell Mr. Stratton and Mr. Schoenstein exactly what I'm about to tell you right now.
Hoover: And what's that, sir?
Dean Wormer: You're out! Finished at Faber! Expelled! I want you off this campus at 9:00 Monday morning! And I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I have notified your local draft boards and told them that you are now all, ALL eligible for military service.
[Flounder's mouth flutters]
Dean Wormer: Well? [Flounder opens his mouth a bit] WELL? [Flounder opens his mouth some more] OUT WITH IT! [Flounder vomits on Dean Wormer]
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Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up on Dean Wormer.
Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up on Dean Wormer.
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Boon: Jesus Christ! What happened? You look grotesque!
Otter: Some of the Omegas did a little dance on my face.
Boon: Who was it?
Otter: It was Greggie and Douggie...and some of the other Hitler youth.
Boon: What did you do?
Otter: I don't know. They're just animals, I guess.
Otter: Some of the Omegas did a little dance on my face.
Boon: Who was it?
Otter: It was Greggie and Douggie...and some of the other Hitler youth.
Boon: What did you do?
Otter: I don't know. They're just animals, I guess.
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Bluto: Hey! What's this lying around shit?
Stork: Well, what the hell we s'posed to do, you moron?
D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...[pauses to remember the rest of the phrase]... the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto: What the **** happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst! "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this! Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer—
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bas****. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: And we're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
Bluto: LET'S DO IT!!
Stork: Well, what the hell we s'posed to do, you moron?
D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...[pauses to remember the rest of the phrase]... the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto: What the **** happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst! "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this! Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer—
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bas****. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: And we're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
Bluto: LET'S DO IT!!
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Pinto: I was thinking, maybe we could get some beer.
Clorette: Nah, not tonight. Besides, you might get lucky without it.
Clorette: Nah, not tonight. Besides, you might get lucky without it.
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Larry: Before we go any further, there's something l have to tell you. I lied to you. I've never done this before.
Clorette: You've never made out with a girl before?
Larry: I've never done what I think we're going to do in a minute. I sort of did once--
Clorette: That's okay. Neither have I. besides, I lied to too.
Larry: Yeah? What about?
Clorette: I'm only 13!
Clorette: You've never made out with a girl before?
Larry: I've never done what I think we're going to do in a minute. I sort of did once--
Clorette: That's okay. Neither have I. besides, I lied to too.
Larry: Yeah? What about?
Clorette: I'm only 13!
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Greg Marmalard: [screaming] Come outta there, you bas****!
Otter: [in falsetto] Who is it?
Greg Marmalard: You know damn well who it is!
Otter: I'm sorry. You'll have to come back later. I'm doing the dishes.
[Otter climbs out of the converted car. Greg is about to attack him.]
Otter: Greg! Look at my thumb!
[Greg stares at Otter's thumb, and Otter clobbers him with his other hand.]
Otter: Gee, you're dumb.
Otter: [in falsetto] Who is it?
Greg Marmalard: You know damn well who it is!
Otter: I'm sorry. You'll have to come back later. I'm doing the dishes.
[Otter climbs out of the converted car. Greg is about to attack him.]
Otter: Greg! Look at my thumb!
[Greg stares at Otter's thumb, and Otter clobbers him with his other hand.]
Otter: Gee, you're dumb.