Kent 'Flounder' Dorfman quotes from Animal House (1978)

Kent 'Flounder' Dorfman

You guys playing cards?

Kent 'Flounder' Dorfman

May I have ten thousand marbles, please?

Kent 'Flounder' Dorfman

I hope I'm gonna score, oh, boy, oh, boy!

John 'Bluto' Blutarsky

Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the **** Peace Corps.

Douglas C. Neidermeyer

You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!

Larry

I hate this.

Kent

No sweat. My brother Fred was a Delta. That makes me a legacy. They have to take me. It's their law. Don't worry. I'll put in a good word for you.

Larry

Great. I heard Delta's the worst house on campus.

Hoover

Kent is a legacy, Otter. His brother was a '59, Fred Dorfman.

Flounder

He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically.

Otter

Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case.

Otter & Boon

Like Fred.

Bluto

Kroger, your Delta Tau Chi name is Pinto.

Larry

Why Pinto?

Bluto

Why not?

Kent

What's my Delta Tau Chi name?

Bluto

Dorfman, l've given this a lot of thought. From now on...your name is Flounder.

Neidermeyer

Dress that line. Dress that line, mister! Dress that line, soldier. Mister, hold my mount. [to Kent] You fat, disgusting slob! You're a goddamned disgrace!

Boon

A vicious mother, isn't he?

Otter

He can't do that to our pledges.

Boon

Only we can do that to our pledges.

Neidermeyer

Redo those buttons! Dress that belt buckle! Straighten that cap! And goddamn it, tuck up those pyjamas! Attention! Eyes front! What's that on your chest, mister?

Kent

It's a pledge pin, sir.

Neidermeyer

A pledge pin! On your uniform?
...

Neidermeyer

Just tell me, mister, what fraternity would pledge a man like you?

Kent

It's a Delta pin, sir.

Bluto

Holy shit!

There were blanks in that gun!

Flounder

I didn't even point the gun at him!

Bluto

HOLY SHIT!

There WERE blanks in that gun!

Flounder

Maybe he had a heart attack.

Bluto

HOLY SHIT!
[The three glance at each other in terror, then run screaming]

Otter

Flounder, I am appointing you pledge representative to the social committee.

Flounder

Gee Otter, thanks. What do I have to do?

Otter

It means you have to drive us to the Food King.

Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it.

Otter

Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You **** up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.

Flounder

That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred?

Otter

I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car.

Flounder

Will that work?

Otter

Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.

Bluto

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Otter

Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.

There you go now, just leave everything to me.

Dean Wormer

Where are the other two - Stratton and Schoenstein?

Hoover

We can't find them, sir. We looked everywhere, but-

Dean Wormer

Never mind. Did you boys see your grade point averages yet?

Hoover

They're not posted yet, sir.

Dean Wormer

I've seen them. Mr. Kroger, two C's, two D's and an F - that's a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations, Kroger, you're at the top of the Delta pledge class.

Dean Wormer

Mr. Dorfman.

Flounder

Hellooooo.

Dean Wormer

0.2. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta House - 1.6. Four C's and an F. A fine example you set. Daniel Simpson Day has no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu- [looks up to see that Bluto has stuck pencils up his nose] Mr. Blutarsky. Zero POINT zero. Now I want you to tell Mr. Stratton and Mr. Schoenstein exactly what I'm about to tell you right now.

Hoover

And what's that, sir?

Dean Wormer

You're out! Finished at Faber! Expelled! I want you off this campus at 9:00 Monday morning! And I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I have notified your local draft boards and told them that you are now all, ALL eligible for military service.

Dean Wormer

Well? [Flounder opens his mouth a bit] WELL? [Flounder opens his mouth some more] OUT WITH IT! [Flounder vomits on Dean Wormer]

Flounder

I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.

Boon

Face it, Kent. You threw up on Dean Wormer.