Real Harvey: It seemed that real, salt of the earth people like Toby and me were being co-opted by these huge corporations. We were getting held up and ridiculed as losers in the system. What can I say, it was the '80s, man.

Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as The Little Mermaid and all that magical crap.

Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but Revenge of the Nerds ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullsh*t.

Joyce Brabner -- Real Joyce

Why does everything in my life have to be such a complicated disaster?!

I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away.

Madylin Sweeten -- Danielle

Man, she's got good looking handwriting.

I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.

Maggie Moore -- Alice Quinn

Molly Shannon -- Stage Joyce

I recommend the pi?a coladas. They are excellent and very authentic tasting.

Paul Giamatti -- Harvey Pekar

James Urbaniak -- Robert Crumb

Toby Radloff -- Real Toby