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Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? quotes

30 total quotes


View Quote [After Martha confides warmly to Nick while rubbing his knee, George walks over to Honey.]
George: Let me tell you a secret, baby — there are easier things in this world, if you, uh… happen to be teaching at a university, there are easier things than being married to the daughter of the president of that university. There are easier things in this world.
Martha: It should be an extraordinary opportunity. For some men, it would be the chance of a lifetime.
George: There are, believe me, easier things in this world.
Martha: Some men would give their right arm for the chance!
George: Alas, Martha, in reality, it works out that the sacrifice is of a somewhat more private portion of the anatomy.
View Quote [As Martha tells Nick how her father pulled the plug on George's novel, George pulls the plug on the jukebox.]
George: All right! The dancing's over!
Honey: [applauding] Violence! Violence! Oo-hoo!
View Quote [Driving Nick and Honey home, George screeches around a corner, jostling his inebriated passengers.]
Martha: Well, aren't you going to apologize?
George: Wasn't my fault — the road should've been straight.
Martha: Not that! For making her throw up.
George: I did not make her throw up.
Martha: You most certainly did.
George: I did not.
Honey: [still drunk] No, now, no…
Martha: Well, who do you think did? Sexy, back there? You think he made his own wife sick?
George: Well, you make me sick.
Martha: That's different.
View Quote [George lies on the bed, face down. Martha sits on his legs, slapping and jabbing his back as she sings. He groans and yells while she's doing this.]
Martha: [To "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf"] Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf / Virginia Woolf, Virginia Woolf / Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf…
[She cackles, then pauses.]
Martha: What's the matter? Didn't ya think that was funny? I thought it was a scream.
George: [mumbles into pillow]
Martha: You laughed your head off when you heard it at the party.
George: I smiled. I didn't laugh my head off.
Martha: You laughed your goddamn head off.
View Quote [Honey and George watch Nick and Martha dancing closely.]
Honey: They're dancing like they danced before.
George: It's a familiar dance, Monkey Nipples. They both know it.
Honey: [drunkenly] I don't know what you mean.
Martha: [sighs] I like the way you move.
Nick: I like the way you move, too.
George: [to Honey] They like the way they move.
Honey: [drunkenly] That's nice.
View Quote [Honey and Martha laugh over the "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" singing from the earlier party.]
Martha: I bust a gut! [laughs uproariously, then settles] George didn't think it was funny at all.
George: Martha thinks that unless you, as she demurely puts it, "bust a gut", you're not amused, you know. Unless you're… carrying on like a hyena, you're not having any fun.
View Quote [Martha looks around their living room.]
Martha: What a dump. [pauses] Hey, w-what's that from? "What a dump!"
George: How would I know?
Martha: Oh, come on, what's it from? You know!
George: Martha…
Martha: What's it from, for chrissake?!
George: What's what from?
Martha: I just told you. I just did it. "What a dump!" Huh? What's that from?
George: I haven't the faintest idea.
Martha: Dumbbell.
View Quote [Nick and George are chatting outside when Martha yells from the house.]
Martha: Hey!
George: Hark! Forest sounds.
Nick: Hmm?
George: Animal noises.
Martha: Heyyyy!
View Quote [Nick guides his hopping, drunken wife into the room.]
Nick: Here we are.
Honey: Hip, hop! Hip, hop! Hip, hop! Hip, hop!
Nick: Are you a bunny, Honey?
Honey: [giggles] Bunny Honey!
George: Well, now, how's the bunny?
Honey: Bunny funny! [giggles]
George: Bunny funny. Good for bunny!
Martha: Come on, George!
[George gestures from Martha to Honey.]
George: Honey, funny bunny.
[Honey dissolves into drunken laughter.]
View Quote [Talking about Nick's early Master's degree…]
George: I'm very impressed.
Martha: You're damn right!
George: I said I was impressed. I'm beside myself with jealousy. What do you want me to do, throw up?
View Quote [Honey abruptly stands, looking ill.] Martha, will you show her where we keep the, uh, euphemism?
View Quote [talking to Nick about weight and fitness] Martha is 108… years old. She weighs somewhat more than that.
View Quote Good. Better. Best. Bested.
View Quote Martha, in my mind, you are buried in cement right up to the neck. No, up to the nose — it's much quieter.
View Quote Vanish!