ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Professor: Now, is there anyone here who can tell me why most alligators are abnormally aggressive?
Bobby: [Quietly, to Derek] I know the answer to this question.
Derek: Raise your hand.
Professor: Anybody? Anyone? [points to Bobby] Yessee you, sir.
Bobby: [standing up] Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.
[The entire class laughs as Bobby sits down next to an embarrassed Derek. Even the professor is laughing.]
Professor: Mama says alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush? Wow!
[The class briefly laughs again]
Professor: Is there anybody else? Yessee you, sir.
Student: Alligators are agressive because of an enlargement - medulla oblongata. It's the sector of the brain that controls the aggressive behavor.
Professor: That is correct! The medulla oblongata!
Bobby: [starting to rise again] But mama say that-
Professor: The medulla oblongata... [Bobby sits back down] ...is where anger, jealosy, and aggression come from. Now, is there anybody here who can tell me where happiness comes from?
[Bobby raises his hand again as Derek tries to push his hand down telling him no, but...too late. Professor has already seen it.]
Professor: Alright. Let's here what mama has to say on the subject.
Bobby: [rising again] Mama say that happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.
[Once again, everybody laughs]
Professor: Well folks...mama's wrong again!
[Class laughs again]
Bobby: No, Colonol Sanders, you're wrong. [Class goes "ooohhh..." on this, until...] Mama's right!
[The class breaks back into laughing. Bobby runs for the door.]
Bobby: You're all wrong! Mama's right! Mama's right!
Professor: Something's wrong with his medulla oblongata!
[Everyone continues laughing until an enraged Bobby knocks the professor to the ground, shocking everyone.]
  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the