Mike quotes from Very Bad Things (1998)

Dad used to bring home these sparklers for me and Adam, you know? [laughs] Sparklers! We'd go out back, the three of us - and we'd hold it up to the sky and watch the explosions of light and the sparks, you know, and Dad would be all "Wait for it! Here it comes! Watch for it! Here comes the wahoo!"

Kyle

Wahoo?

Wahoo. The sparkler would burn hot, then hotter, then even hotter, and then there'd be this one moment of pure burn when that little ****er would cook perfect, just perfect. It would only last a second, but that second was it. And that's what Dad had us looking for, man.

Kyle

The wahoo moment?

That's exactly right. Man - burning at his absolute. All the forces coming together - burning - just perfect, perfect harmony. That's what I'm driving at. Are you with me?

Kyle

I think so.

I have been looking for that flash. I've been looking and I've been looking, and I can't find it. What if it already happened, you know? My moment! What if it already happened and I didn't see it?

Look at 'em. I'm amazed the windows don't blow out of their **** sockets with all the ass-puckering rage in these soulless lizards.

Kyle

I just want her to be happy.

The same alarm clock every morning, same two pops on the same snooze button, same shower, towel, toothbrush, razor, blazer, hair pump, gel spray. It's a **** epidemic, Fisher. You're getting married, baby. I'm not going to candy-coat it - it just gets worse. It's an eighteen-wheel cement truck that's going to crush every bone in your big body.

You know it's 500, right?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, no problem. Yeah, I mean... 500 of my dollars?

Right. Right.

But I thought... Boyd didn't pay?

No, Boyd didn't pay. It's 500.

Cool.

Straight sex, nothing kinky. Just...

No, no, no. I'm not gonna try to use you as a hand puppet or anything. I just wanna...

Okay.

...make sweet love to you because you have no idea what you've gotten into.

We were playing. She bumped her head.

Bumped? BUMPED? She's got a ****in' spike in her head!