Eliot Ness quotes from The Untouchables (1987)

Ness

We have several operations in the works, so we're rather busy, Alderman. What can we do for you?

Alderman

I came up to congratulate you on a job well done. Share your good fortune on such a lovely day.

Ness

What's that?

Ness

What is that.

Alderman

Mr. Ness, you're an educated man. Let me pay you the compliment of being blunt. There's a large, a large and popular business that you are causing dismay. Why don't you just cross the street and let things take their course.

Ness

Would you come in here please? [as the team enters] In Roman times, when a when a fellow was convicted of trying to bribe a public official, they would cut off his nose, and sew him in a bag with a wild animal, and throw that bag in the river. [picking up the bribe and throwing it at the Alderman] You tell your master that we must agree to disagree!

Alderman

You're making a mistake.

Ness

Yeah I know, well I've made them before I'm beginning to enjoy them.

Alderman

You fellows are untouchable, is that the thing? No one can get to you? Hey, everyone can be gotten to.

Ness

You tell Capone, that I'll see him in hell.

Malone

You said you wanted to know how to get Capone. [Ness nods] Do you really want to get him? [pause] You see what I'm saying? What are you prepared to do?

Ness

Everything within the law.

Malone

And then what are you prepared to do? If you open the ball on these people, Mr. Ness, you must be prepared to go all the way. Because they won't give up the fight, until one of you is dead.

Ness

I want to get Capone. I don't know how to get him.

Malone

You want to get Capone? Here's how you get him. He pulls a knife? You pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital? You send one of his to the morgue! That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone! Now, do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I'm making you a deal. Do you want this deal?

Ness

I have sworn to put this man away with any and all legal means at my disposal, and I will do so.

Malone

Well, the Lord hates a coward. [shakes Ness' hand] Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr. Ness?

Ness

Yes.

Malone

Good, because you just took one.

Malone

Where are you from, Stone?

Stone

From the South Side.

Malone

"Stone?" "George Stone?" That's your name? What's your real name?

Stone

That is my real name.

Malone

Nah, what was it before you changed it?

Stone

Giuseppe Petri.

Malone

Geez, I knew it! That's all you need, one thievin' Wop on the team!

Stone

What's that you say?

Malone

I said that you're a lyin' member of a no-good race!

Stone

It's much better than you, you stinkin' Irish pig.

Malone

Oh, I like him.

Ness

Yeah, I like him too.

Malone

You just joined the Treasury Department, son.

Stone

Yeah, okay.

Malone

Well, here we are.

Ness

What are we doing here?

Malone

Liquor raid.

Ness

Here?

Malone

Mr. Ness, everybody knows where the booze is. The problem isn't finding it, the problem is who wants to cross Capone.

Malone

Federal officers!

Ness

Get your hands in the air! Nobody move!

Malone

This is a raid!

Ness

Everybody into the center of the room!

Hood

What are you doing here?

Malone

All this stuff is impounded! You're all under arrest!

Hood

Hey, this isn't right! Hey, this is no good! You got a warrant?

Malone

Sure, here's my warrant! [Punches him twice in the stomach. He collapses] How do you think he feels now? Better? Or worse?

Ness

What is that?

Malone

"What is that?"

Ness

Yes, what is it?

Malone

God, I'm with the heathen. [shows medallion, with a key on the chain] That is my call box key, and that is St. Jude.

Stone

Santo Jude. He's the patron saint of the lost causes.

Malone

And policemen.

Ness

Patron saint of policemen?

Malone

Everybody needs a friend.

Ness

I had to kill him.

Malone

Oh, yeah. He's as dead as Julius Caesar.

Malone

Would you rather it was you?

Ness

No, I would not.

Malone

Well, then, you've done your duty. Go home and sleep well tonight.

Mr. Ness! I do not approve of your methods.

Ness

Yeah? Well, you're not from Chicago.

Something you want here?

Ness

My friend was killed today.

I don't care.

Ness

You don't care?

Ness

Now he does. [to Capone] Come on here, Capone! You want to fight? You and me, right here?! That's it, come on! What's the matter? You afraid to come out from behind your men, you afraid to stand up for yourself?!

Capone

You want to do it now?! You want to do it right now?!

Ness

Yeah! Come on, you son-of-a-bitch!

Capone

What?!

Easy!

Capone

You talk to me like that in front of my son?! **** you and your family!

Ness

Fu--
[Ness goes for his gun, while all of Capone's thugs pull out their guns and point them at Ness]

Ness

I'm going to see you burn, you son of a bitch, because you killed my friend!

Nitti

He died like a pig.

Ness

What did you say?

Nitti

I said that your friend died screaming like a stuck Irish pig! Now you think about that when I beat the rap. [Walks off, combing his hair. Ness, enraged, grabs him and pushes him off the roof] Hey! HEY! [he falls, screaming]

Ness

DID HE SOUND ANYTHING LIKE THAT?!

Ness

Never stop-- Never stop fighting till the fight is done.

Capone

What'd he say? What'd you say?

Ness

I said, "Never stop fighting till the fight is done"!

Capone

What?

Ness

You heard me, Capone. It's over!

Capone

C'mon! You're nothing but a lot of talk and a badge!

Ness

Here endeth the lesson.
[Ness walks away and shakes Stone's hand, while Capone continues to yell at Ness and tries to attack him, while the people hold him back.]

They say they're going to repeal Prohibition. What will you do then?

Ness

I think I'll have a drink.

They say they're going to repeal Prohibition soon. What will you do then?

Ness

Very likely, I'll do the same thing everybody else will do...I'll go out for a drink.