What did you say your wife's first name was?
Darcy.
So, what was the long story you didn't want to make long?
I come home from work two weeks ago, and she's, uh... she's texting on the phone. I ask her who it is, she says "Nobody." So I said "Let me see the phone." She says no. This goes on, I dunno, five or six times...
Wait, wait. You're losing me. She's texting?
There's this guy we both went to school with. He's a cop, he's a PA State Trooper. And he's always had a thing for Darcy. Going way back.
Connie 1206, where are you?
1206 here, Connie. We're just passing milepost 57.
Connie You're about a mile and a half behind.
How far out of Arklow is 777?
Connie Seven and a half miles. It picked up speed. You better step on it.
I'm stepping on it, in it, around it, and through it, Connie. Thank you. Over.
She's texting on the phone, I keep on asking for it, she keeps on saying no. And, um... she starts to walk away, and I grab for it.
You hit her?
No, no, no. I mean, I scared her, but I didn't- I didn't hit her. Anyway, I drive to this guy's house and tell him we need to talk, let's take a ride. He jumps in my truck, and starts in with "You've got it all wrong, we're just friends." And then he stops once he sees... the gun I got sitting on the dash.
Oh!
I look him in the eye and I say "She's my wife. You find a new friend."
You pulled a gun on a cop?!
Connie Frank? Frank, 777 just passed milepost 61.
Thank you, Connie.
But you wanna hear the kicker?
Yes, I do.
It wasn't even him that was texting her. It was my sister-in-law. Anyway, by the time I got home, his buddy's waiting for me, just waiting to serve me with this restraining order. Darcy wouldn't even look at me. So I'm living with my brother, and there was a hearing today. The judge ordered a 30-day extension. It's like... one day, everything's going okay, and the next, it's all falling apart faster than you can put it back together.
Yeah. Never too late, though.
