Howard Of course I'll go. Any time, any day. I was only waiting for one or two guys to ask me. Out for gold? Always at your service.
2nd most-quoted character in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948): in 23 of its 66 quotes
Most scenes with: Fred C. Dobbs (10), Bob Curtin (8)
This stuff wouldn't pay you dinner for a carload. Next time you fellas strike it rich, holler for me, will ya, before you start splashing water around. Water's precious. Sometimes it can be more precious than gold.
More lines from Howard
11 quotes Howard Howard Meat's one thing and bandit's another. Bandit country is where we'll be going. We ought to have six hundred bucks between us.
Howard We gotta go where there's no trails at all - where you can be positive that no surveyor or anybody who knows anything about prospectin' has ever been there before.
Howard Now here's where we're bound for - hereabouts. It don't show properly whether it's mountain, swamp, or desert. That shows the makers of the map themselves don't know for sure. Now once on the ground, all we got to do is open our eyes and look around. Yeah, and blow our noses too. Believe it or not, I knew a feller once who could smell gold just like a jackass can smell water.
Howard [translating for a shopkeeper]
We're going into the country that's very wild and dangerous. Have to cut our way through jungles and climb mountains so high that rise above the clouds. With tigers so big and strong they can climb trees with burros in their mouths...Good! Glad to hear such tall tales 'cause that means mighty few outsiders have ever set foot there.
Howard Hey you fellas, how about some beans? Ya want some beans? Goin' through some mighty rough country tomorrow - you better have some beans!
Howard Well, how does it feel, you fellers, to be men of property?
Howard It's come around to me again, but I won't take my turn if you guys'll stop worryin' about your goods and go to bed. We've got work to do tomorrow.
Howard [about the Indian chief, whose son he saved]
He's insisting we return with him to his village and be his guests...He says if he doesn't pay off his debt, all the saints in heaven will be angry. [Dobbs laughs] This is no laughing matter. I'm afraid he's determined to take us with him, even if it means force.
Howard [to Curtin]
Mr. Dobbs has made off with our goods and is on his way north. Well, I reckon we can't blame him too much...He's not a real killer as killer's go. I think he's as honest as the next fella - or almost. The big mistake was leaving you two fellas out there in the depths of the wilderness with more'n a hundred thousand between ya. That's a mighty big temptation, partner, believe me...Maybe if I'd've been young and been out there with either one of you, I might have been tempted too.
Howard [about their gold dust being scattered by the wind]
Oh laugh, Curtin, old boy. It's a great joke played on us by the Lord, or fate, or nature, whatever you prefer. But whoever or whatever played it certainly had a sense of humor! Ha! The gold has gone back to where we found it!... This is worth ten months of suffering and labor - this joke is!
Scenes with Howard
11 scenes Howard Gold in Mexico? Why sure there is. Not ten days from here by rail and pack train, there's a mountain waiting for the right guy to come along, discover a treasure, and then tickle her until she lets him have it. The question is, are you the right guy?...Aw, real bonanzas are few and far between that take a lot of finding. Say, answer me this one, will ya? Why's gold worth some twenty bucks an ounce?
Man
I don't know. 'Cause it's scarce.
Howard A thousand men, say, go searching for gold. After six months, one of 'em is lucky - one out of the thousand. His find represents not only his own labor but that of nine hundred and ninety-nine others to boot. That's uh, six thousand months or five hundred years scrabbling over mountains, going hungry and thirsty. An ounce of gold, mister, is worth what it is because of the human labor that went into the finding and the getting of it.
Man
Never thought of it just like that...
Howard Well, there's no other explanation, mister. Gold itself ain't good for nothin' except makin' jewelry with and gold teeth. Aw, gold's a devilish sort of a thing anyway. You start out to tell yourself you'll be satisfied with twenty-five thousand handsome smackers worth of it, 'so help me Lord and cross my heart.' Fine resolution. After months of sweatin' yourself dizzy and growing short on provisions and findin' nothin', you finally come down to fifteen thousand and then ten, finally you say, 'Lord, let me just find five thousand dollars worth and never ask for anything more the rest of my life.'...Here in this joint, it seems like a lot, but I tell you, if you was to make a real strike, you couldn't be dragged away. Not even the threat of miserable death'd keep you from trying to add ten thousand more. Ten you want to get twenty-five. Twenty-five you want to get fifty. Fifty, a hundred. Like roulette. One more turn, you know, always one more.
It wouldn't be that way with me. I swear it wouldn't. I'd take only what I set out to get, even if there was still a half a million dollars worth lying around waitin' to be picked up.
Howard I've dug in Alaska and in Canada and Colorado. I was with the crowd in British Honduras where I made my fare back home and almost enough over to cure me of the fever I'd caught. I've dug in California and Australia, all over the world practically. Yeah, I know what gold does to men's souls.
Man
You talk as though you struck it rich sometime or other, Pop. How about it? Then what are you doin' in here, a down-and-outer?
Howard That's gold, that's what it makes of us. Never knew a prospector yet that died rich. Make one fortune, you're sure to blow it in trying to find another. I'm no exception to the rule. Aw sure, I'm an odd old bone now, but say, don't you guys think the spirit's gone. I'm all set to shoulder a pickax and a shovel any time anybody's willing to share expenses. I'd rather go by myself. Going it alone's the best way. But you got to have a stomach for loneliness. Some guys go nutty with it. On the other hand, going with a partner or two is dangerous. Murder's always lurkin' about. Partners accusin' each other of all sorts of crimes. Aw, as long as there's no find, the noble brotherhood will last, but when the piles of gold begin to grow, that's when the trouble starts.
Me, now, I wouldn't mind a little of that kind of trouble.
I think I'll go to sleep and dream about piles of gold gettin' bigger and bigger and bigger...
You know what I'm thinkin'. I'm thinkin' we ought to give up. Leave the whole outfit - everything behind and go back to civilization.
Howard What's that you say? Go back? Ha, ha. Well, tell my old grandmother! I've got two very elegant bedfellows who kick at the first drop of rain and hide in the closet when thunder rumbles. My, my, my, what great prospectors, two shoe clerks readin' a magazine about prospectin' for gold in the land of the midnight sun, south of the border, or west of the Rockies, ha, ha, ha...
Howard Go ahead, go ahead, throw it. If you did, you'd never leave this wilderness alive. Without me, you two would die here more miserable than rats.
Howard Let me tell you something, my two fine bedfellows, you're so dumb, there's nothin' to compare ya with, you're dumber than the dumbest jackass. Look at each other, will ya? Did you ever see anything like yourself for bein' dumb specimens. You're so dumb, you don't even see the riches you're treadin' on with your own feet. Yeah, don't expect to find nuggets of molten gold. It's rich but not that rich. And here ain't the place to dig. It comes from someplace further up. Up there, up there's where we've got to go. UP THERE!
It don't look much different from sand...plain sand. It don't glitter - I thought it would glitter.
Howard It'll glitter when it's refined. That's some other guy's job. All we gotta do is mine it and get it back there. You know, gold ain't like stones in a riverbed. It don't cry out to be picked up. You got to know how to recognize it. And the findin' ain't all. Not by a long shot. You got to know how to tickle her, so she'll come out laughin'. Yeah, it's mighty rich. It will pay good.
How much?
Howard Oh, about twenty ounces to the ton.
When are we gonna start dividing it up?
What the use of dividing it at all? I don't see any point. We're all going back together when the time comes. Why don't we wait until we get paid for the stuff and then just divide up the money?
I'm for dividing it up as we go along. Make each guy responsible for his own goods.
...
Howard Suppose you were charged with takin' care of the goods. One day I'm deep in the bush and Curtin's on his way to the village to get provisions. That'd be your big chance to pack up and leave us in the cold.
Only a guy that's a thief at heart would think me likely to do a thing like that!
Howard After we save and got a couple of hundred ounces, it'll be a nuisance carryin' little bags hangin' from our necks, and each of us will have to hide his share of the treasure from the other two - and having done so will be forever on the watch that his hiding place is not discovered.
What a dirty filthy mind you've got.
Howard Oh no, not dirty, not dirty baby. Only I know what kind of ideas even supposedly decent people get when gold's at stake.
Howard I reckon I'll settle down in some quiet place. Get me a little business...a hardware or grocery store, and spend the better part of my time readin' comic strips and adventure stories. Ha. One thing's for sure. I'm not gonna go prospectin' again and waste my time and money trying to find another gold mine.
I figure on buying some land and growing fruit - peaches maybe...One summer when I was a kid, I worked as a picker in a peach harvest in the San Joaquin Valley. Boy, it sure was something. Hundreds of people, old and young, whole families workin' together. At night, after a day's work, we used to build big bonfires and sit around and sing to guitar music, till morning sometimes. You'd go to sleep and wake up and sing, and go to sleep again. Everybody had a wonderful time. Ever since then, I've had a hankering to be a fruit grower. Must be grand watching your own trees put on leaves, come into blossom and bear...watching the fruit get big and ripe on the boughs, ready for pickin'...
Well, first off, I'm goin' to a Turkish bath and I'm gonna sweat and soak till I get all the grime and dirt out of my system. Then I'm goin' to a haberdasher's and I'm gonna get myself a brand new set of duds...a dozen of everything. Then, I'm goin' to a swell cafe - order everything on the bill of fare, and if it ain't just right, or maybe even if it is, I'm gonna bawl the waiter out and make him take the whole thing back...
The next thing on the program would be dames.
Yeah.
Howard If I were you boys, I wouldn't talk or even think about women. It ain't good for your health.
There's no use makin' hogs of ourselves.
Hog, am I? Maybe you don't know it, but I'd be within my rights if I demanded half again as much as you get.
How come?
There's no denying I put up the lion's share of the cash, is there?
Howard I think it would be wise not to put things strictly on a money basis.
[Curtin uses the scales to weigh out a portion of his gold dust (with interest) to repay Dobbs for his bigger share] [flinging the dust away into the fire]
I just don't like being called a hog, that's all.
Don't get the idea you two are putting anything over on me.
Howard Take it easy, Dobbs.
I know what your game is.
Howard Well, you know more than I do.
Why am I elected to go to the village? Why me instead of you and Curtin? Oh, don't think I don't see through that! You two have thrown together against me. The two days I'd be gone would give you plenty of time to discover where my goods are, wouldn't it?
Howard Why don't you take your goods along with you?
And run the risk of having them taken from me by bandits?
Howard If you was to run into bandits, you'd be out of luck anyway. They'd kill you for the shoes on your feet.
Oh, so that's it! Everything's clear now. You're hopin' bandits'll get me. That would save you a lot of trouble, wouldn't it? And your consciences wouldn't bother you none neither.
Howard All right, Dobbs. Forget about it.
Howard It'll take another week to break down the mine and put the mountain back in shape...Make 'er appear like she was before we came...We've wounded this mountain and it's our duty to close her wounds. It's the least we can do to show our gratitude for all the wealth she's given us. If you guys don't want to help me, I'll do it alone.
You talk about that mountain like it was a real woman!
She's been a lot better to me than any woman I ever knew!
We'll be lonesome without you, but you know my Sunday school teacher used to say, 'You've got to learn to swallow disappointments in this sad life.'
Howard Pick me out a good-looking squaw and marry her. They're easy to dress and feed and entertain. They don't nag at you either. Well, so long partners.
Well Howard, what next, I wonder?
Howard Well, I'm all fixed as far as I'm concerned as a medicine man. I'll have three meals a day, five if I want 'em, and a roof over my head, and a drink every now and then to warm me up. I'll be worshipped and fed and treated like a high priest for telling people things they want to hear. Good medicine men are born, not made. Come and see me some time, my boy. Even you will take off your hat when you see how respected I am. Why only the day before yesterday, they wanted to make me their Legislature - their whole Legislature. I don't know what that means but it must be the highest honor they can bestow. Yeah, I'm all fixed for the rest of my natural life. How about yourself? What do you aim to do?
I haven't got any idea.
Howard Oh, you're young yet. You've got plenty of time to make three or four fortunes for yourself.
You know, the worst ain't so bad when it finally happens. Not half as bad as you figure it will be before it's happened. I'm no worse off than I was in Tampico. All I'm out is a couple hundred bucks when you come right down to it. Not very much compared to what Dobbsie lost.
Howard Any special place you're bent on goin'?
Naw, all the places are the same to me.
Howard Tell you what. You can keep my share of what the burros and the hides'll bring if you use the money to buy a ticket to Dallas. See Cody's widow. Better than writin'. And besides, it's July and the fruit harvest. How about it?
It's a deal.
