The Man who would be King 1975 quotes

But how many men have been were we've been.. ... and seen what we've seen?
Everything's all right then.

District Commissioner

It would have been wiser if you had both gone home at the end of your army service.

Peachy

Home to what? A porter's uniform outside a restaurant and tanner tips from belching civilians for closing cab doors on them and their blowzy women?

Daniel

Not for us, thank you! Not after watching Afghans come howling down out of the hills and taking battle field command when all the officers had copped it!

Peachy

Well said Brother Dravot!

District Commissioner

There may be no criminal charges against you, but I'll see these files reach Calcutta with the recommendation that you be deported as political undesirables! Detriments to the Dignity of the Empire and the Izzat of the Raj!

Peachy

Detriments you call us? Detriments? Well I want to remind you it was detriments like us that built this bloody Empire and the Izzat of the bloody Raj! Hats on! About turn! By the left, quick march!

Daniel Dravot

- Then why did you do it?

District Commissioner

I have your records before me. There's everything in them, from smuggling to swindling to receiving stolen goods to bare-faced blackmail.

Peachy

Sir, I resent the accusation of blackmail. It is blackmail to obtain money by threats of publishing information *in* a newspaper. But what blackmail is there in accepting a small retainer for keeping it *out* of a newspaper?

District Commissioner

And how did you propose to keep it out?

Peachy

By telling the editor what I know about his sister, and a certain government official in these parts.

Daniel

Let him put *that* in his paper, if he has need of news.

District Commissioner

It would have been wiser if you had both gone home at the end of your army service.

Peachy

Home to what? A porter's uniform outside a restaurant and tanner tips from belching civilians for closing cab doors on them and their blowzy women?

Daniel

Not for us, thank you! Not after watching Afghans come howling down out of the hills and taking battle field command when all the officers had copped it!

Peachy

Well said Brother Dravot!

District Commissioner

There may be no criminal charges against you, but I'll see these files reach Calcutta with the recommendation that you be deported as political undesirables! Detriments to the Dignity of the Empire and the Izzat of the Raj!

Peachy

Detriments you call us? Detriments? Well I want to remind you it was detriments like us that built this bloody Empire and the Izzat of the bloody Raj! Hats on! About turn! By the left, quick march!

Peachy

may I? riding in this ashcart is like being Kicked by a mule every 10 Minuites:

Peachy

Out of the window, Banu

Peachy

Outside, you inky-fingered thief! I hope you break your neck

Rudyard Kipling

You might have killed him

Rudyard Kipling

But why?

Peachy

I caught him stealing your watch

Rudyard Kipling

My watch...I say it is my watch! Well! Im much obliged to you Mr..?

Peachy Carnehan

Where are you heading for?

Rudyard Kipling

Jodhpur.

Peachy Carnehan

Will you return on this line?

Rudyard Kipling

In 10 days.

Peachy Carnehan

Can you make it eight? I have a message for a man......travelling through Marwar Junction on the 24th. He expects to meet but I have urgent business.

Peachy

...Suppose I was to ask you, as a stranger going to the West, to seek for that which was lost - what would you say then?

Kipling

...I should answer, where do you come from?

Peachy

From the East, and I am hoping that you will give my message on the square for the sake of the widow’s son.

Kipling

...Which lodge do you hail from?

Peachy

Traveling Lodge 3276, Fore and Fit. The Queen’s Own Royal Loyal Light Infantry. Regimental District 329A.

Kipling

To whom is the message?

Peachy

Daniel Dravot.

Kipling

Dravot.

Peachy

A big man with long gray sideboards. A great swell. You'll find him in a first-class compartment.Don't be afraid. Slip the window down and say, "Peachy's gone south for the week."

Kipling

"Peachy's gone south for the week."

Peachy

- Yes, and he'll tumble. Well, I'll be getting off now before we reach the station.

Kipling

By the way, Brother Carnehan..I missed my watch in the station at Lahore...before boarding the train.

Peachy

How was I to know you were a Mason?

Billy Fish

He wants to know if you are gods?

Peachy

Not gods — Englishmen. Which is the next best thing.

Daniel

Just looking, Peachy. There's such a thing as admiring beauty for its own sake.

Peachy

Being only human, one thing leads to another.

Daniel

Peachy, I'm heartily ashamed for gettin' you killed instead of going home rich like you deserved to, on account of me bein' so bleedin' high and bloody mighty. Can you forgive me?

Peachy

That I can and that I do, Danny, free and full and without let or hindrance.

Daniel

Everything's all right then.

Daniel

Peachy, in your opinion, have our lives been misspent?

Peachy

Well, that depends on how you look at it.  I wouldn’t say the world’s a better place for our having lived in it.

Daniel

No, hardly that.

Peachy

Nobody's gonna weep their eyes out at our demise.

Daniel

And who'd want them to anyway?

Peachy

And we haven't many good deeds to our credit.

Daniel

None. None to brag about.

Peachy

But how many men have been where we've been ... and seen what we've seen?

Daniel

Bloody few and that's a fact!

Peachy

Why, even now, I wouldn't change places with the viceroy himself...if it meant giving up my memories...

Peachy

Billy Fish, mount the mule and ride! There's a chance you'll make it!

Billy Fish

Gurkha foot soldier, not cavalry! Rifleman Majendra Bahadur Gurung wishing you many good lucks! [Draws kukri and charges the mob alone] AYO-O-O GURKHALI-I-I!

Daniel Dravot

Now listen to me, you benighted muckers! We're going to teach you soldiering, The world's noblest profession! When we're done with you, you'll be able to stand up and slaughter your foes like civilized men! But first, you will have to learn to march in step. And do the manual of arms without even having to think! Good soldiers don't think, they just obey! Do you suppose that if a man thought twice, he'd give his life for Queen and Country? Not bloody likely! He wouldn't go near the battlefield! One look at your foolish faces tells me that you're going to be crack troops. Ohhh him there with the five-and-a-half hat size has the makings of a bloody hero!

Daniel Dravot

Boil'em once or twice in hot water and they'll come out like chicken and ham! You wouldn't know them from the Gaietey Chorus!

Peachy Carnehan

Blast! [Carnehan realizes he has just pick-pocketed a fellow Freemason's watch]