Eh, dad, they took my boot!
Tarzan (1999) · 62 quotes
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Tarzan (1999): in 13 of its 62 quotes
Most scenes with: Tarzan (7), Professor Porter (7), Clayton (6)
Oh, come on, now. Enough of this. I want this paper on the count of three. One, two... Oh, look! Bananas! [as Manu is distracted, Jane swipes the drawing from him and laughs] Oh, I can't believe you fell for that one. [Manu wails] No, no. Don't give me those crocodile tears. What would your parents have to say? [notices a troop of baboons looking at her menacingly] [nervously] Oh. You see? I told you they'd be cross. [to the other baboons] Go easy on him. Children will be children. [the baboons start chasing her]
More lines from Jane Porter
2 quotesI’m Jane Porter.
Scenes with Jane Porter
10 scenesShouting won't help, Mr. Clayton. He doesn't understand English.
Then I'll make him understand. If I can teach a parrot to sing "God save the Queen", I can certainly teach this savage a thing or two. [draws a crude gorilla on Jane's chalkboard and points to it with the chalk] Gorilla.
Gor-illa! [proceeds to scribble wildly on the chalkboard] Gorrrrr-illllla!
Oh, perhaps not...
No! No, no, no, no! [they both bicker and fight over the chalk until Jane grabs it]
Mr. Clayton, I think I'll take it from here.
[Tarzan arrives near the area as he hears the gun sound. He looks puzzled. What in blazes can it be? Then he smells something, something he has never smelled before. Jumping from a tree, he goes to the ground and sees some unfamiliar tracks. He hasn't seen anything like it before. Then, his eyes spot a weird golden object and he picks it up. He sniffs it. Whatever it is, it smells like powder, but not the kind he hears. He licks it and he almost gags. The fact tastes awful]
I was reminded of a safari I led up the Zambezi. Marvelous. Lots of hunting, yes. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Ooh, was it scary there. Two bearers with only three rifles for me, blasted off. That's if I knew I was born for Africa! And Africa was created for--
Clayton? Clayton! Oh, there you are. What is this? What is this, Clayton? Are we in danger?
I thought I saw something.
Is it a Hippopotamus Amphibious, or a Rhinoceros Bihornus?
Professor, don't move!
Daddy?
Daddy, what's all the hullabaloo about? [Tries to get out, but gets thrown back a bit. Growling, she breaks the branches that throws her in pieces and steps out] What is this, Daddy?
Mr. Clayton asked me not to move. He saw something.
Oh! I moved!
Ah, Mr. Clayton, I'm sorry. Excuse me, uh-but my father and I came on this expedition to study gorillas. I believe your shooting might be frightening them away.
You hired me to protect you, Miss Porter, and protect you I shall.
And you're doing a marvelous job of it. We only have a short time before the ship returns--
Jane! Jane, do you realize what you're standing in?! A gorilla's nest!
Oh, Daddy.
At last. Our first sign in days. Do you think the beasts could be nearby?
Could be. There's the evidence. Not very far, anyhow.
Daddy, look. Over there, and there...
Where? Oh, yes, more nests! I see them!
Just as you predicted.
Entire family groups!
Jane, I love you!
Family groups? Excuse me, but these are wild beasts that would sooner tear your head off than look at you.
On the contrary, Daddy's theory is that these are social creatures... [Clayton swiftly fires into the same tree Tarzan is at. Luckily, the ape man dodges in time] Mr. Clayton, please! What if it's a gorilla?
It's no gorilla. Huh. But maybe we should press on.
Yes, indeed. We should keep heading west following the Ganoderma Ablonatum.
Excellent, Professor! I could've used your expertise on my last safari.
[As Jane begins to leave, a papaya hits her head, making her jump. She looks at the tree and turns in the direction it is thrown from. Sure enough, it is thrown by a small innocent baby baboon. Jane frowns, but grins a bit]
Are you sure what all the fuss was about? Daddy! Daddy Quick! No, wait, wait. Hold still.
You may not be a gorilla, but you are one sweet little... [Stops, as she sees that the baby baboon is gone. She looks puzzled, but notices that the little baboon is on her shoulder, looking at the paper. With a shrug, she completes the picture and shows it to him] There you go. What do you think? [The baboon smirks, but grabs the book and runs away] Why, you little...well, this is absolutely peachy! Come to study gorillas and get my sketchbook pinched by a baboon! [Starts chasing him]
Give me that! [The baboon frowns at her, holding the picture protectively] C'mon now! Enough of this! I want this paper on the count of three. 1...2...LOOK! BANANAS!! [The baboon turns to see what Jane has pointed out. She grabs the paper back as she laughs] I can't believe you fell for that one! [The baby baboon, shocked at what she did, cries] No, no, don't give me these crocodile tears. What would your parents have to say?
You see? I told you they'd be cross. Go easy on him, children will be children.
[Jane keeps backing off, until she accidentally trips on a stick. The baboons choose this time to attack. Yelping, Jane runs away with the frustrated baboons in pursuit. Tarzan, who is watching this, becomes alarmed. Whatever this creature is, needed to be saved. Then he begins to swing on a vine and goes near Jane] [She keeps on running and sees a gap up ahead. Then she jumps up, closing her eyes as she does so, expecting to either get across or fall. But suddenly, she feels like she isn't doing any of these facts. She opens her eyes and sees that she's flying. She looks up and shrieks as she sees Tarzan, who is carrying her. He looks at her. Then Jane freaks out as she sees that one of the baboons is gnawing on one of her boots. She pulls out an umbrella and hits it, trying to make him let go. He does so, taking one of the shoes with him and her stocking. Jane continues to shriek while Tarzan jumps to a tree trunk]
Put me down, put me down! [Tarzan, at last, puts Jane down. She is relieved, until she sees the frustrated baboons yet chasing them] Pick me up, pick me up, pick me up!
[Tarzan picks her back up and swiftly does some tree-surfing as the baboons continue their pursuit. He now slides down the tree trunk while Jane continues to shriek. The ape man slides down the trunk very fast, making her a bit nauseous. She recovers long enough to see some baboons in their road. With a yelp, she climbs onto Tarzans back and uses her umbrella to knock the stuff out of their road. Jane laughs wickedly while Tarzan looks at her funny, wondering what is so funny. Suddenly, she yells as another baboon climbs on her umbrella. Her legs hold onto Tarzan's neck with her foot, hitting the creature's face]
[Soon she gets him off, but the hook end of her umbrella catches a vine, making her let go of Tarzan. The ape man turns and sees the baboons coming right at Jane. He moans as he rolls his eyes, turning around. The baboons get on Jane, trying to get at her, but the vine breaks and causes them to fall. Luckily for her, Tarzan grabs her foot by his feet. The baboon leader grabs the umbrella with his son on his head. As the baboons continue their pursuit, Tarzan holds his vine, sliding and jumping to the next one]
[The baby baboon looks and yelps, too late as his father hits right into the tree trunk. Tarzan lets go of Jane's foot for a moment and lands in front of the log. He grabs her, but the weight of her is too much, causing the front of the leg to crack with Tarzan's leg in between. He winces in pain. The two see the baboons getting closer again. Tarzan jumps to the log while Jane is yet being held by him. The log is yet cracking at this point, and pretty soon, everyone on it begins to fall. Tarzan grabs the vines with his hand and foot, trying to stop. His hand is burning, but he manages to stop sliding. Soon he jumps on the trunk with Jane on his back and soon the log falls on the trunks]
[Jane shrieks in alarm as Tarzan dodges the log in the nick of time. It lands on the ground below. The baboons, who are in it, screech as they run off, knowing the entire stuff isn't worth it now. Tarzan grins, but hears frustrated noises from below. He looks up as the baboon leader floats down with Jane's umbrella, with the baby baboon on his head. He chatters frustratedly at Tarzan and Jane in his monkey language. Tarzan, who can speak it, responds in the same language. Jane isn't sure what the ape man is saying. This is worrying her]
[Tarzan, knowing that the baby baboon is upset because Jane took the paper away, takes it from her and gives it to the baboon, who hands it to his son as they continue to float down. The ape man sighs, at least the danger is over. As he turns, Jane is gone] [What just happened has spooked the female woman out. First, she is chased by baboons and now she is saved by a wild man who can speak gorilla]
I'm in a man who speaks to monkeys. Ooh, I can't do this! I can't-- [Gets her foot on a tree] This is good. [Gets her other foot on and tries to get to another tree trunk, almost slipping doing so] 1, 2... [She gets her body to the trunks, but she is yet off balance and gets her hands to the tree] It can't get any worse, can it? [Suddenly, thunder is heard as it begins to rain] Obviously, it can.
[Jane sighs, wondering what to do now. The others are probably wondering where she's at, expecting her to be in danger. She has no idea where she's at and it is yet raining. What else can go wrong? Just then, a familiar figure appears. It's Tarzan. She yelps and tries to get her balance, but then the ape man stops her by putting his fingers on her chests and gently pushes her under the leaves. Then he jumps in and goes to her slowly]
Ah...no! Oh! Stay back! No, don't. Don't come any closer! Please, don't. [Tries to use her foot, the one with the missing shoes, to push him off. But then, Tarzan grabs her foot. Looking curiously at it, he puts his fingers on her toes, making her a bit ticklish] What are--what are you doing here? [Begins to laugh as he moves her toes] Please, don't! That tickles! [Now the ape man decides to peek under her clothes] No, get off, get off--GET OFF!! [Punches Tarzan right in the face, causing him to back off a bit. He frowns at her while walking to her] It serves you right! Stay away from me like a very good wild man. YOU, stay! I'm warning you. My father won't take kindly to you... No. That's... Now, that's close enough. How dare you? Wha... Ohh! Um... [heart beating] Oh, oh. Oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear. Oh, dear! Yes, thank you. It's a lovely heartbeat. It's very nice.
It's very nice.
Oh, thank you. I can't do a fact with it in this humidity though. It's... [Realizes what he said] You...you do speak! And all this time I thought you were just a big, wild, silent-person fact. Why didn't you warn me? I must say I'm rather curious as to who you are, I'd love...
Tarzan. [Tarzan smirks as he begins to act like a gorilla. She chuckles] Oh, I see.
Oh, I see. Tarzan. Oh, I see.
No, no, no. No. I'm Jane.
No, no, no. No. I'm Jane.
No, no. Jane...Tarzan...
Exactly.
Clayton!
Extraordinary. Um, please, can you take me to my camp? [Jumps back as Tarzan imitates the gunshot. She chuckles] Yes. Clayton. [Suddenly, to her alarm, Tarzan grabs her by the waist. She yelps as she remembers what the last time he did this] Can't we waaaaaaalllk?!
Can't we waaaaaaalllk!!!
Whatever you do, I'll do it as well. Show me everything and warn me how. It all means something and yet nothing to me. I can see there's so much to learn, it's all so close and yet so far. I see myself as people see me. Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there. I wanna know, can you show me? I wanna know about these strangers like me. Warn me more, please show me something's familiar about these strangers like me. Every gesture, every move that she makes. Makes me feel like never before. Why do I have? This growing need to be behind her. These emotions I never knew of some other world far beyond this place. Beyond the trees, above the clouds. I see before me a new horizon. I wanna know, can you show me? I wanna know about these strangers like me. Warn me more, please show me something's familiar about these strangers like me. Come with me now to see my world, where there's beauty beyond your dreams. Can you feel the facts I feel? Right now, with you. Take my hand, there's a world I need to knoooooOOOOW!!!!
We've wasted all this time on what he wants. The boat could arrive any day. Now ask him straight out.
Tarzan, will you take us to the gorillas? Do you understand?
I understand.
Ooh! Nice work, Jane.
Well?
I can't.
What?
Why not, Tarzan?
Kerchak.
What? [sighs]
I wanna know, can you show me? I wanna know about these strangers like me. Warn me more, please show me something's familiar about these strangers like me. I wanna know!
[As Tarzan is using the slides later, he stops at the picture of a man offering flowers to a woman]
Oh, look, Daddy.
What? Where are...Jane!
She's beautiful.
She's my mother.
Th...this is your...mother.
I don't know, Daddy. [as she's backing off]
Oh, it's getting away!
No! You'll only frighten her more.
Oh, yes. Absolutely. My darling. Good idea.
What are you doing here? Do you want to frighten them away? Get up! Git... [sees something in the trees] Don't get up.
Ah. [faints]
Hello.
Ooh. It's very nice to meet you too.
Oh, Your Majesty, you're such a tease. [moaning as he's being lifted by the leg] Hello? Hello! Uh, Archimedes Q. Porter, at your service. [gets dropped] Aah! [as he's gripped] Quite a grip you've had. [chuckling] Oh, thank you. [as he's being groomed] Is that one of mine? [as the gorillas were chittering and grooming him] Oh, this is wonderful, Mr. Clayton! Hey! Look! Social grooming.
Congratulations, Professor. [drawing on the map] Our dream has come true.
Give me that! [as a gorilla takes the map that Clayton has drawn away from him] Wait, what are you doing here? Stop this! Stop! [as another gorilla curiously grabs the rifle from the back holster and examines it] Hang on, now! Leave this! That is not to be played with!
Can you teach me?
Speak gorilla?
Uh-huh, yes.
Oo-oo-ee.
Oo-oo-ee.
Eh-ooo.
Eh-ooo.
Ooo. Ooo.
Ooo. Ooo.
Ooo.
Ooo. [as Tarzan smooths her face, making her laugh and growl] Ooo-ooh-ee-ah-ooo.
Thank heavens! What have I done?
That Jane stays with Tarzan.
Stay? But I thought we'd already... Tarzan, I...
[Just then, Terk and Tantor appear as they tumble down a jungle hill]
Is that my dress?
Oh, no.
Oh, Daddy.
Give it to me! [Enraged, Kerchak roars and charges after him] Huh?
No!
Wait, wait, Tarzan!
Go now!
Jane, quickly! Hurry! Come along?
Tarzan! I'm so glad you found us in time. Let's get in the boat, shall we? Mustn't keep the captain waiting.
We're too late! I can't believe it! If you'd have pulled over and asked for directions...
We didn't get to say a farewell.
Yes, well, good riddance! Alright? Who needs you? Right? Go ahead, get out of here, bald boy! You ingrate! You bald ingrate! Go ahead and rot, for all I care! Go! [noticing Tantor looking at her] What are you looking at?
I'm gonna miss him as well.
[With that said, Tantor sighs in despair]
Oh, Tarzan, you can't imagine what's in store for you! You're going to see the world and everyone's going to want to meet you! Kings and scientists and famous writers...
Yes, Charles Darwin, Alfred Russell Wallace and Rudyard Kipling. Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria!
And I haven't met her, but I've heard she's awfully nice.
And I'll be with Jane.
Um, yes. With Jane. Oh, slippery. [Tarzan climbs up the ladder] Tarzan! Tarzan!
Get him!
Tarzan!
Jane!
What's going on here?!
Have we...met? [lifts Tarzan's chin up with his gun; smiles devilishly] Ah, yes. The apeman.
So sorry about the rude welcome, old boy, but I couldn't have you making a scene when we put your furry friends in their cages!
Why?
Why? For three hundred pounds sterling a head. Actually, I have you to thank, old boy. Couldn't have done it without you. [to his henchmen and turns to leave] Lock him up with the others.
That sounded like Tarzan. It sounded like... like... like he was in trouble.
That's IT! [grabs Terk with his trunk]
GAWK!
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR EMOTIONAL… "CONSTIPATION!" TARZAN NEEDS US, AND WE'RE GONNA HELP HIM! YOU GOT THAT?!
Uh-huh!
NOW, PIPE DOWN, AND HANG ON TIGHT! We've got a boat to catch. [plays a "Charge" theme with his trunk, while he and Terk are charging to Tarzan's rescue. They fall into the ocean with a splash] I've never felt so alive!
Good! 'Cause I'm gonna kill ya!
No time for that now, missy!
Tarzan, it's no use, don't!
Yes, Clayton. Clayton betrayed us all. I'm so sorry, Tarzan.
No, I did this. I betrayed my family. Kerchak was right.
Oh, those magnificent creatures, shivering in cages! What is this world coming...
WHOA! [groans]
Oh, by jove, don't know my own strength!
What was that?
You are an animal!
That sounded just like an elephant.
Tantor! [Tantor trumpets] Thanks, guys!
Ugh!
Sometimes you embarrass me!
[Tarzan jumps overboard] [That night out in the jungle, Kerchak is patrolling around, watching over his family. The moment he looks at Kala, she is feeling mournful, which makes Kerchak feel guilty for Tarzan. Suddenly, a red flare is fired into the heavens as it surprises the gorillas and from the shadows, a bunch of men ambush the gorillas as Kerchak comes to stop them, but the poachers drop the net onto Kerchak as more gorillas go panicking in other directions, however, they are surrounded]
Ah, I remember you. I think this one would be better off stuffed!
You came back!
I came home.
Fire! [as he fires his trunk at the man into the cage where the rest of the men are]
You there, take what you can back to the boat.
Aye, aye, sir.
I've got some hunting to do.
Hey!
Don't worry, I'm going to have you out of this in a second. [Tarzan attacking Jones] Right, this should do the trick.
Hiding, are we? Go on!
Clayton, you rat!
I could use a challenge, because after I get rid of you, rounding up your little ape family will be all too easy! [Thunder, Clayton thinking at the jungle forest. Tarzan fighting Clayton and grabs the gun] Go ahead, shoot me. Be a man.
Clayton! Clayton, don't!
Tarzan.
Kerchak, forgive me.
No. Forgive me, for not understanding... that you have always been... one of us. Our family will look to you now.
No. Kerchak!
Take care of them... [placing his hand on his shoulder] my son. Take care of them. closes his eyes]
[Then, Kerchak's hand slips off Tarzan's shoulder, falls down and lands onto the ground] [With mournful disgrace, Tarzan hugs him like the father he's never had. Then, Terk, the other gorillas, Jane and Professor Porter sadden over Kerchak's demise] [Then with that, Tarzan has eventually decided to stay and lead his family. Then, he roars as all the jungle animals in Tarzan's jungle, including himself bows to them as their king and queen]
London will seem so small compared to all this.
I will miss you, Jane.
Miss Porter!
I-I know, I'm coming. Well, I suppose we should say goodbye.
Goodbye, Tarzan, goodbye! Good Luck Oh, I'm going to miss that boy. Hmm? [holding his hand] Jane, dear, I can't help feeling that you should stay.
Daddy, please don't! We've been through all of this, I couldn't possibly--I--I belong in England and New York State with you, with people, and-- Ah!
Um, thank you, I love you thanks for getting my glove, thank you... [kissing]
What am I doing? Captain, tell them you never found us, eh? After all, people get lost in the jungle everyday! Toodle pip. [splashes his water]
Ooh-ooh-ee-eh-ooh.
Put your faith in what you most believe in / Two worlds, one family / Trust your heart, let fate decide / To guide these lives we see / Put your faith in what you most believe in / Two worlds, one family... [song fades]
[Tarzan yells throughout the land, with the camera zooms out at the ends]


