[first lines]

Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale...if somebody told you I was just an average ordinary guy, not a care in the world...somebody lied. But let me assure you: This, like any story worth telling, is all about a girl. That girl. The girl next door. Mary Jane Watson. The woman I've loved since before I even liked girls. [referring to Flash Thompson sitting next to her] I'd like to say that's me sitting next to her. [referring to an overweight kid in front of them messily eating a jelly doughnut] Hell, I'd even take him. [he and the other kids see a distressed nerdy boy in thick glasses running along the bus, asking to stop] That's me.