N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

[Major Thorn is preparing to take a helicopter back off Fort Baxter after witnessing the hovertank fail a firing test; Colonel Hall and Captain Moon are trying to dissuade him.]
COL John Hall: Major, let me be frank. A negative report from you at this time would be the death knell for Fort Baxter. See, we've been in sort of a slump lately, and I-
MAJ Colin Thorn: Nine years without a single successful test? That's not a slump, Colonel, that's a tradition!
Hall: Look, Major- think for a minute. About the men; their careers! My career.
Thorn: Look, Colonel, you play the hand you're dealt. This isn't exactly the career I had in mind when I got out of OCS; shining a seat with my ass in D.C., visiting every dumpy little post- I thought I'd be a colonel by now, or maybe even a general. Sorry, Colonel; what I saw this morning was a dust cloud that cost $70 million. Good morning.
Hall: Ah, wait! You know, there's more to Fort Baxter than just R&D, Major. We have an award-winning, Hooah commissary!
CPT Moon: Try the chicken casserole!
Hall: And our softball team won the division title last year; Sergeant Bilko's platoon is in the Glee Club finals!
Thorn: [Visibly bored] I'll certainly keep that in mind. [boards the helicopter and an aircrewman shuts the door. His eyes open wide and he opens the door, calling out to Hall] Did you say Bilko?!
Hall: Yes...?
Thorn: Is that Ernie Bilko?!
Hall: One and the same!
Thorn: [Gets back out of the helicopter] Maybe I will stay for lunch!
Hall: Hoo-ah, light up that chicken casserole, Captain Moon!
Moon: Yes sir!
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