Hello, Sidney.
Uh, hi. Who is this?
You tell me.
Well, I have no idea.
Scary night, isn't it? With the murders and all, it's like right out of a horror movie or something.
[chuckles]
Randy, you gave yourself away. Are you calling from work? 'Cause Tatum's on her way over.
Do you like scary movies, Sidney?
I like that thing you're doing with your voice, Randy. It's sexy.
What's your favorite scary movie?
Oh, come on. You know I don't watch that shit.
Why not? Too scared?
No, no. It's just, what's the point? They're all the same. Some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can't act, who's always running up the stairs when she should be going out the front door. It's insulting.
Are you alone in the house?
Randy, that's so unoriginal. I'm disappointed in you.
Maybe that's because I'm not Randy.
The question isn't "Who am I?". The question is, "Where am I?"
S-s-so, where are you?
Your front porch.
Why would you be calling from my front porch?
That's the original part.
[checks front porch; no one seems to be there]
Oh, yeah? Well, I call your bluff. [goes outside, looks around, sees no one] So where are you?
Right here.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh, okay.[picks nose] What am I doing? Huh? What am I doing? Hello? [laughs] Nice try, Randy. Tell Tatum to hurry up, okay? Bye, now.
If you hang up on me, you'll die just like your mother! [Sidney's eyes widen in horror] Do you wanna die, Sidney? Your mother sure didn't.
**** you, you cretin!
