The Apostle quotes from The Running Man (2025)

Legend. The network wants you to think that on day 18 of his run, after taking out all five hunters, the longest surviving contestants in season one, committed suicide by surface-to-air missile. The apostle calls bullshit. First of all, they cut to ads six minutes earlier than usual and ran them for twice as long. They must have needed the time to write this fake-ass shit. [Faked footage of Ben threatening viewers] And then they swapped the crowd. Where'd purple shirt guy come from? Season five, episode 13 to be exact. That's how dumb the network thinks we are. Their vile distortions meant none of us knew the truth about what happened on that jet until a revolutionary riot girl found the jet's black box on the roof of her co-op. Her uncle had the audio duped, distributed, and put it on blast. And goddammit did we ever! The network wasn't about to give us the gospel, so we learned how to give it to each other. Ben lit the fuse. And the truth exploded like a nuclear blast before the network even knew it existed. But questions remain about that fateful night. Did the hunters really assassinate Ben's family? Did Killian sell him just the right lie for a bloodbath season finale? And the big one, on everyone's mind, did Ben survive? The apostles' research reveals that one of the flying beams that marked two state-of-the-art safety features was a crew escape pod just about the size of this so-called debris. Did Ben cheat death one last time? The network won't say. But one thing's for sure. He's still here, you shit-eaters.

Ben Richards

You know, my kid was sick. I sent my wife enough to get her well. Now I'm trying to win enough to get them out. She's only two. So if I do my job, she'll never even remember Slumside.

Bradley Throckmorton

Okay, Richards. I can get you past that blockade. But I'm gonna need a couple days to set it up. So hide out here in the meantime. You know, you could go to full 30 if you play smart.

Ben Richards

And what makes you such an expert?

Bradley Throckmorton

Tune in and find out. [Leads Ben to media room] Welcome to the pulpit. [Inserts and plays a tape]

What goes on behind the scenes of the biggest Free-Vee show of all time? Welcome to The Apostle. Episode 30, Real Rules of the Running Man. If you dig, dupe, and distribute. The network has three types for every run. Type 1, Hopeless Dude.

Oh my God.

Hopeless Dude is cursed with a fatal misunderstanding of human nature. He usually lasts less than 48 hours.

Come and get me. Dinner is served, pal. [At door] Oh, damn. [Gets shot by the Hunters]

Pa-pow! That's a takeout!

Ben Richards

Woof.

Oh! He is cooked!

Type 2, Negative Dude. Negative Dude knows he ain't got a chance in hell. He just wants to go out with a bang or two.

Make life greater. Leave a **** crater.

Bro gets smoked by the end of week one cause he buys too much ass and not enough food with his running start. [Negative Dude is cornered by the Hunters in strip club parking lot] A slave to his appetites, he often serves himself up on a plate.

Suck dicks in hell! [Detonates suicide bomb vest]

Final Dude. Final Dude has a fierce will to survive. Yet, he never wins. The network cheats. They can't find anyone anytime. But, if a runner's getting good ratings, let him run. 13 days.

And just like Papa always said, you can try, but you can't catch a ghost.

Oh shit.

The crowd wants blood, and Final Dude becomes a victim of his own success. They might hide from destiny, but they never outrun fate. [Final Dude is finished off in a lumber mill and is ground up in wood chipper]

That's me, McCone! I'm the Running Man! Bi-

Double kill! Rest in pieces!

Evan McCone

That's game.

Ben Richards

Whew. Is that supposed to inspire me?

Bradley Throckmorton

Oh, come on, man! Don't you get it? After that escape tonight, live, prime time, you... you are... [rewinds tape to shot of Final Dude and points to Ben] Final Dude. And they're gonna squeeze every last drop of ratings out of your ass, so you got at least until Negative Dude flames out to get somewhere safe. Which gives us enough time to set you up for the biggest underdog win in game show history.

Ben Richards

So where the hell's safe?

Bradley Throckmorton

I'm working on it.