Most scenes together: Jack Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney & Lady Claire (3), Sir Charles & Dr. Herder (3)
Anything you care for? The Grand Canyon? A disused banana factory? Absolution?
Grace Shelley A white wedding.
Will Tuesday suit you?
Grace Shelley You deserve a big kiss.
Not here in the garden. Last time I was kissed in a garden, it turned out rather awkward.
Grace Shelley Oh, but Judas was a man.
Yes. Strange business.
How did it happen? How did you come to be in this state?
Like every prophet I saw visions, I heard voices, I ran. The voices of Saint Frances, Socrates, General Gordon, and Timothy Leary, they all told me I was God. It was Sunday, August the 5th, at 3:32.
It's Miss Grace Shelly.
Is she anyone, my Lord?
No one. But, Charles recommends her. She's good breeding stock. Family foals well, sires mostly. There's always room at the top for brains, money or a good pair of titties.
Miss Shelley seems well endowed, my Lord.
Are you sure you can handle the situation? Tricky and all, marrying a man who thinks he is god?
Grace Shelley Happens all the time.
He can't forget being rejected by his mother and father at the age of 11. They sent him away, alone, into a primitive community of licensed bullies and pederasts.
You mean he went to public school.
Exactly.
His lordship is a paranoid schizophrenic.
Paranoid schizophrenic? But he's a Gurney!
Then he's a paranoid schizophrenic Gurney who believes he's God.
But we've always been Church of England!
Naturally, men aren't rats.
Only a man would say so.
I can't marry a second time.
You're already married?
August 28, in the year of me, 1964.
How dare you bring that woman here!
You should be very grateful to Miss Shelley.
Grace Shelley is your mistress.
Miss Shelley is just a hard working girl.
On her back!
How do you know you're God?
Simple. When I pray to Him, I find I am talking to myself.
It's out of the question!
Who asked you a question? Did you ask him a question? Nobody asked a question, so I'll ask a question: Who's the head of the Gurney household?
You are, Jack.
Then don't let me hear you answering unasked questions again!
What about Jack?
Remember he's suffering from delusions of grandeur. In reality he's an earl, an English aristocrat, a member of the ruling class. Naturally, he's come to believe there's only one person grander than that: the Lord God Almighty Himself.
Are you English?
No.
Deformed, unfinished, sent before my time into this breeding world. I'm cured of fantasy obsessions, paranoid delusions. I master words. 'I' - straighten up there. 'AM' - close up with 'I' - you horrible little word. 'GOD.' I AM GOD. Not the god of love, but God Almighty. I massacred the Amalekites and the Seven Nations of Canaan. I hacked Agag to pieces and blasted the barren fig tree, for the day of vengeance is in my heart! You lunar jackass, she betrayed you. Guilty, guilty, guilty. The punishment is death. I've finally been processed. They made me adjust to modern times. This is 1888, isn't it? I'm Jack, Cunning Jack, Quiet Jack. Jack whose sword never sleeps. Hats off, I'm Jack. Not the good shepherd, not the prince of peace. I'm red Jack, spring-heeled Jack, Jack from Hell. Trade name: Jack the Ripper! [He produces a knife, flicks it open, and slashes at a bag of flour] Mary, Annie, Elizabeth, Catherine, Alice, Mary Kelly. [singing] 'Six little whores, glad to be alive. One sidles up to Jack, and then there are five.'
Not here in the garden. Last time I was kissed in a garden it turned out rather awful.
Behaviour which would be considered insanity in a tradesman is looked upon as mild eccentricity in a lord.
