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Archy: Bandy, you ever ask a stupid question like that again, see Danny there? He's gonna slap you.
Bandy: Sorry Arch, I was, I was just trying to use initiative.
Archy: Danny, slap him.
[Danny slaps Bandy]
Archy: With the right, Danny, properly.
[Danny slaps Bandy]
Archy: No, no, no, no. Come on, do it properly, with the back of the right hand.
Danny: What is this, a tennis match, Arch?
Archy: Slap him.
[Danny slaps Bandy]
Archy: [Muttering angrily] Oh, for fu... Like this. [Slaps Bandy, who stumbles] Now if you can master a slap like that, there's no need for your clients to hold back. They will open up like a fountain, full of words. No need for strong violence, no no; they're transported back to their childhoods. Putty, in your hands; ask Bandy. Look. Thinks he's back at school. [Bandy is biting his lip childishly]
Danny: But he never went to school, Arch.
Archy: You want a slap as well, Daniel? Eh? Now, if a slap don't work, you cut 'em or you pay 'em, but you keep your receipts, cos this ain't the Mafia.
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