A scene from Pineapple Express 2008
Saul

[Dale and Saul just evaded the police]

Hey, you all right, man? You sound pretty hectic.

Dale

I'm okay. Let's just get the **** out of here, okay?

Saul

All right. [he takes out a pipe and an ounce of marijuana] First things first. [takes out a lighter to light up the pipe, as he is about to smoke it]

Dale

Don't... do that, okay?

Saul

[stops lighting and puts down the pipe and lighter]

Yeah, why not?

Dale

Why not? Car chase, gunshots. That clearly just happened, because we were smoking marijuana.

Saul

Naw, man. That happened 'cause those **** kids couldn't keep their shit on the down low, man.

Dale

In case you haven't noticed, which you haven't, 'cause from what I can tell, you don't notice ANYTHING, EVER, we are not very functional when we're high, which is all the ****in' time!

Saul

Well, I don't know, man. I think I'm functioning right now. I was like, stoned when I saved you with those slushies. What do you gotta say to that, man?

Dale

Okay. Well, that would be true... if you HAD saved me, but you didn't save me, she was gonna help us, and you made things worse, and now were wanted for all sorts of ****in' crazy shit!

Saul

Don't **** get on my case, all right? Look, the only reason I started selling pot is so I could put my bubbe in a nice retirement home.

Dale

Oh, yeah. She must be proud of you for that.

Saul

She is really proud of me. And I'm gonna become something, man. As soon as she dies, I'm gonna become a civil engineer. I'm gonna design septic tanks for playgrounds. Little kids can take shits! You idiot. What the hell do you do?

Dale

You mean besides stay in my home, for fear that you designed some object I'm around? I'm gonna be on the radio, talking about LIFE! Giving lessons about life!

Saul

Oh, well, in my place, I'm gonna be designing buildings and what's he gonna be doing? BORING PEOPLE TO DEATH ON THE RADIO!

Dale

You are an asshole. That's all you are, you're an asshole.

Saul

I'm not an asshole!

Dale

You are an asshole!

Saul

No, you know what? I'm-- I'm-- I feel pretty-- pretty sure that I'm not an asshole. I'm, like, a totally nice guy.

Dale

I'm just as nice as you are, so you don't bring that out. When we were in the woods, I gave you my jacket. YOU WERE COLD, AND I CLOTHED YOU!

Saul

What about in the park, where I said that you were my friend? You didn't say anything back.

Dale

Well, that's easy, it's because we're NOT friends. You are my drug dealer. There's one reason we know each other, I like the drugs you sell, that's it. And if you didn't sell those drugs, I would have no idea who you were, and I would be fantastic right now! Instead of looking like this.

In this scene

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