They say a martini is like a woman's breast: one ain't enough and three is too many.
The Parallax View quotes
Just one more thing.
What's that?
Who are you?
You're not Richard Paley. Your service records don't check.
They don't?
There was a Richard Paley in the 1st Air Cavalry, but among other things, he's dead.
Gee, I'm sorry to hear that.
So were we. So... who are you really?
I wouldn't walk out that door if I were you.
Your tests suggest that you have remarkable talents.
Yeah? What do you mean by "talents"?
You have difficulty holding on to a job, don't you?
I don't know, I just don't like to take a lot of shit, so people say I got antisocial tendencies.
Right! Now, tell me, has it ever crossed your mind that maybe it's everybody else's problem that they don't get along with you?
Why?
Because, you see, the very quality that gets you in trouble is what makes you potentially invaluable.
What's that?
Your aggressiveness.
Now I don't know what you want but if it's money, I'll give you ten thousand dollars to keep me out of it. You don't mention my name, you don't come looking for me. All I want is to stay out of it.
Sorry, Mr. Tucker, you've got information I need. Money doesn't mean anything to me. This story's gonna mean more to me than ten thousand dollars.
Fella, you don't know what this story means.
You gotta admit, it's funny.
It makes me laugh, but I don't think it's funny.
What's that supposed to mean?
Have you ever laughed at a comedian when he pretended to stutter? There's nothing funny about a man who stutters, but people laugh. They're amused. But they're not happy about it.
Can I buy you a drink, miss? You know there for a moment, I thought you were a man. But you aren't are you?
No, I'm a girl.
Why don't you go right over there and tell those people that? Real loud. [grabs Frady's jacket]
Don't touch me unless you love me.
You just come over here and sit down. You're alright, son.
Listen, you wouldn't be offended if I called the police, would you?
No, but you don't have to call very far because Red's a deputy. And if that isn't good enough, I'm the sheriff.
You got some interesting ideas about law enforcement.
I could have stopped the fight. I would have if you'd have been gettin' whipped, but I dearly love seeing ol' Red get stomped.
He's your deputy?
Well, you see he's my sister's boy. Had to do something nice for her, he's so damn mean he can't get along with anybody else. He's dumb. He's a real turkey. You know, you move his plate five inches, that boy's gonna starve to death.
I have to do a skin search.
A what?
You're gonna strip and I'm gonna search you.
Are you out of your ****in' mind?
Look, that's the way Mr. Tucker wants it. And if I don't see you, you don't see him.
I'm dead, Bill. I just want to stay that way for awhile.
Ladies and gentlemen, you have been invited here today for the official announcement of the inquiry into the death of Senator Charles Carroll. This is an announcement, not a press conference. Therefore, there will be no questions. A complete transcript of the investigation is being prepared for publication on March 1. At that time, the committee will hold a full-scale press conference. After nearly four months of investigation, followed by nine weeks of hearings, it is the conclusion of this committee that Senator Carroll was assassinated by Thomas Richard Linden. It is our further conclusion that he acted entirely alone, motivated by a sense of patriotism and a psychotic desire for public recognition. The committee wishes to emphasize that there is no evidence of any wider conspiracy; no evidence whatsoever. It's our hope that this will put an end to the kind of irresponsible and exploitive speculation conducted by the press in recent months, as I've said in the complete text of the hearings, which provides the bases for the committee's findings which will be published on March 1. When you've had a chance to examine the evidence, you'll have every opportunity to ask those questions which remain unanswered, if they are any. That is all. Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, you've been invited here today for the official announcement of the inquiry into the death of George Hammond. A complete transcript of the investigation is in preparation. This committee has spent nearly six months of investigation, followed by eleven weeks of hearings. After careful deliberation, it is concluded that George Hammond was assassinated by Joseph Frady. An overwhelming body of evidence has revealed that Frady was obsessed with the Carroll assassination, and in his confused and distorted state of mind seems to have imagined that Hammond was responsible for the senator's death. He was equally convinced that Hammond was somehow plotting to kill him. And it is for those reasons that Frady assassinated him. Although I'm certain that this will do nothing to discourage the conspiracy peddlers: there is no evidence of a conspiracy in the assassination of George Hammond. Those are our findings. The evidence will be available as soon as possible. Thank you. This is an announcement, gentlemen. There will be no questions.
Look, why don't you go out and bust up a keno game. Do something worthwhile for chrissakes, you two bit vice squad, you're not only dumb, you're dirty.
We're in the business of reporting the news, not creating it.
When I agreed to take you back in January I made two suggestions. One was about your drinking. Well, you seem to have licked that. The other was that you curb your talent for creative irresponsibility: you can start working on that right now.