Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist 2008 quotes

Homeless Man

What's up, friend? How you doing?

Nick

Good. I was just gonna go in...

Homeless Man

You walked right in here.

Nick

I didn't mean to.

Homeless Man

You're like a little canary in skinny jeans.

Nick

I was gonna go in to look for my friend.

Homeless Man

You got friends right here. Me and Switzerland are here for you, baby. Let me ask you a question. You ever hook up with a dog?

Nick

No. What? Like an an... A dog, like a pet? No.

Homeless Man

Don't. It's not worth it. I like you so much. [trying to hug Nick]

Nick

I'm running away. I'm running.

Homeless Man

Run away. Run away, little canary.

Nick

Your dad owns this place?

Nick

Is he this man? [pointing to picture]

Norah

Yeah.

Nick

Wow! So, what is he? Like, a former hippie, current yuppie, spoon-feeding the masses the same old garbage? Stop me at any time.

Norah

Yes.

Nick

Yeah.

Norah

Yes! I'm gonna use that in my graduation speech. That's, like, amazing.

Norah

If you don't have a drummer, then why do you have drums you fistful of assholes?

Dev

Fistful of assholes! I like it.

Nick

You two must be great friends.

Norah

Yeah, I am a great friend. It's always been like this. I'm the squire in Caroline's quest for attention.

Nick

I just feel like she's messing with me.

Thom

Who are you talking about?

Nick

Right now, Norah. No, Tris. Tris.

Thom

You just haven't figured it out yet, have you.

Nick

What?

Thom

The big picture!

Nick

I guess not.

Thom

The Beatles.

Nick

What about them?

Thom

This. [grabs Nick's hand] Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand.

Nick

So what is your favorite song?

Norah

Well my favorite verse was "The way you're moving in your sleep, the way you look before you leap. The strange illusions that you keep. You don't know that I'm noticing."

Nick

I wrote that.

Norah

What did you see in her? I could floss with that girl.

Nick

This is your friend that we're talking about?

Norah

OK, so I'm the bad guy now, is that what we're doing, I'm the bad guy?

Nick

If you really wanna know, she actually supported our music and our band when nobody else did, not that it's any of your business.

Norah

OK, forget it, I can't do this.

Nick

Do what?

Norah

Just make a U-turn and take me back to Ludlow, alright. I'll find my own way...

Nick

Perfect.

Norah

...Because I refuse to be the goody bag in your pity party, NICK.

Nick

You don't have to yell, it's not a train station... it's a tiny car.

Norah

Are you crazy?!?

Nick

I don't know what I did to you to make you so angry.

Norah

Nothing! You're just... you're ridiculous.

Nick

You don't even know me.

Norah

I know you, I know your make.

Nick

My make?

Norah

You're an emo punk bandboy and you're obsessed with Tris. They could make action figures out of you - drummer not included.

Nick

It's funny that Tris never mentioned you considering what good friends you are, but she did mention some frigid jealous JAP who was completely jealous of her and who was a complete bitch.

Norah

Oh, jealous?!?

Nick

Yeah, and so now I think I know exactly who she was referring to.

Norah

Let's dance, douchebag!

Nick

OK, sweetheart, you think you have something...

Norah

I AM NOT JEALOUS!!

No man, she's not jealous.

Norah

Hi.

Dev

Try this.

Norah

What?

Dev

Let's just say we're not the biggest fans of his dreaded ex? And we've decided you're to be his salvation. Besides, we saw you two making out, and we think you're the one. We just need to get you out of that sports bra.

Norah

This isn't a sports bra.

Dev

Come on. We're all ladies here.

Norah

Okay.

Dev

Ohh! It's better than the uni-boob.

Norah

This isn't going to work, okay. He's hung up on Tris.

Dev

You look gorgeous. And let me tell you something, Nicky is definitely worth the underwire. He just needs a little push, that's all.

Norah

I also have a confession.

Nick

What?

Norah

Before Tal, I never really... kissed anyone until tonight.

Nick

Really?

Norah

Yeah. Unless you count Becca Weiner at camp when I was 13.

Nick

I do! I do count Becca Weiner!

Norah

You do?

Nick

I don't know who wouldn't. You'd have to be a fool not to count her. [Pause] How long were you guys together?

Norah

Three campfire-y nights. Oh, me and Tal. I knew that.

Norah

It reminds me of this part of Judaism that I really like. It's called Tikkun olam. It says that, um, the world's been broken into pieces and it's everybody's job to find them and put them back together again.

Nick

Well, maybe we're the pieces. Maybe we're not supposed to find the pieces. Maybe we are the pieces.

Thom

Would someone mind telling me where we're going?

Norah

You know how some people like to eat at the same places?

Nick

Yeah.

Norah

Well Caroline likes to barf in the same places.

Norah

Are you sad that we missed it?

Nick

We didn't miss it. This is it. C'mon. You wanna go home?
[They kiss]

Caroline

Um... hi. I'm Caroline. What's your name?... You know what, that's okay. You don't have to tell me. It's been like one of those nights, you know? I was with my friend Norah, who you don't know, but you'd really like her because everybody likes Norah and she... left me tonight which is - she never does that and then I was kidnapped. And then, she... usually when I go home with her she... she makes me a turkey sandwich when I get home, but I might never get home, you know? And I'm so tired. [looks down and notices what is in his lap] Is that a turkey sandwich?

Nick

I never wash my pants. I like to keep the night on them.