N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Vinny: Hey, Vincent Lamgini Gambini....
Lisa: His name's JT.
Vinny: JT...I believe you and Lise played a game of pool for two hundred dollars, which she won. I'm here to collect.
JT: How 'bout if I just kick your ass?
Vinny: Oh a counter-offer. That's what we lawyers - I'm a lawyer - we lawyers call that a counter-offer. Lemme see...This is a tough decision you're givin' me here. Get my ass kicked or collect two hundred dollars. Hmmp. Let me think... I could use a good ass kickin', I'll be very honest with you... nah, I think I'll just go with the two hundred.
(The people in the room laugh) JT: Over my dead body.
Vinny: You like to renegotiate as you go along, huh? Okay then, here's my counter-offer... do I have to kill you? What if I were just to kick the ever-loving shit out of you?
JT: In your dreams.
Vinny: Oh no no... in reality. If I was to kick the shit outta yah, do I get the money?
(JT contemplates this) JT: If you kick the shit outta me,
Vinny: Yeh,
JT: -Then you get the money.
(Some people weakly laugh. Vinny looks at a guy whose in a neck brace.) Vinny: What happened? Rear-ended?
Guy: No, ah fell.
Vinny: Oh. (Vinny does personal injury lawsuits). Okay, lets see if we agree on the terms. The choice now, is...I get my ass kicked...OR, option B, I kick your ass, and collect the 200......I'm goin with option B. (takes his coat off) Kickin' your ass and collectin' two-hundred dollars.
JT: (a little nervous) Uh, we gonna fight now?
Vinny: Yeah, first let me see the money.
JT: I have the money.
Vinny: Alright, show it to me.
JT: Ah can get it.
Vinny: You can get it? Alright, go get it. Then we'll fight.
(Vinny goes to walk out.) Vinny: (to the guy in the nec brace) Did you fall in your place or somebody else's?
Guy: My place.
Vinny: Shit.

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