Counselor, your clients are charged with first degree murder. How do they plead?
[sitting down]
Your Honor, my clients...
Don't talk to me sitting in that chair.
But he [points to bailiff] told me to sit here.
When you're addressed in this court, you'll rise. Speak to me in a clear, intelligible voice.
...
My clients...
What are you wearing?
Huh?
What are you wearing?
[wearing a leather jacket]
Um, I'm wearing clothes.
[Judge stares ominously]
I... I don't get the question.
When you come into my court looking like you do. You not only insult me, but you insult the integrity of this court.
I apologize, sir, but, uh... this is how I dress.
The next time you appear in my court, you will look lawyerly. And I mean you comb your hair, and wear a suit and tie. And that suit had better be made out of some sort of... cloth. You understand me?
Uh yes. Fine, Judge, fine.
...
My clients were caught completely by surprise. They thought they were getting arrested for shoplifting a can of tuna.
What are you telling me? That they plead not guilty?
No. I'm just trying to explain.
I don't want to hear explanations. The state of Alabama has a procedure. And that procedure is to have an arraignment. Are we clear on this?
Yes, but there seems to be a great deal of confusion here. You see, my clients...
Uh, Mr. Gambini?
[Motions for him to approach the bench]
All I ask from you is a very simple answer to a very simple question. There are only two ways to answer it: guilty or not guilty.
But your honor, my clients didn't do anything.
Once again, the communication process broken down. It appears to me that you want to skip the arraignment process, go directly to trial, skip that, and get a dismissal. Well, I'm not about to revamp the entire judicial process just because you find yourself in the unique position of defending clients who say they didn't do it.
...
The next words out of your mouth better be "guilty" or "not guilty." I don't want to hear commentary, argument, or opinion. If I hear anything other than "guilty" or "not guilty", you'll be in contempt. I don't even want to hear you clear your throat. Now, how do your clients plead?
I think I get the point.
No, I don't think you do. You're now in contempt of court.
Would you like to go for two counts.
Not guilty.
Thank you.
