[Lars and Ernie are at the animal shelter in search of a suitable mouse-hunting cat.]
Find the one you want, and I'll spay or neuter it myself.
Well, these are all kittens. We were hoping for an older cat, one with experience.
That's a switch. Most people want the cute little ones. Experience with what?
Mouse-hunting.
Oh, all cats are good mousers.
Yes, but you see, we have huge rats, the size of sumo wrestlers, and lots of them, so we really need a ferocious feline, preferably with a history of mental illness. I'm talking... one mean pussy.
Yeah! A vicious cat, difficult to love. You have any of those knocking around your cages?
Funny you should ask. I had all but given up on anyone wanting him. We were about to... gas him again.
Again?
[Maury the Handler leads the brothers to a chained-and-padlocked crate]
He's spent most of his life in that box, I expect...
Oh, you know the guys who clean up call him that, but you can call him anything you want. I'd say he looks like a "Fluffy".
[leaning down]
Aw, poor little Catzilla. You want a home, don't you? You want to get out of here. Well, you're gonna have to kill, kill, kill for it!
You're a stupid cat, aren't you? Yes, you are! And you're ugly, too, extremely ug...
[The cat lunges, until Maury the Handler subdues him with a taser] [seeing his ripped coat sleeve]
Oh, you little bastard!
We'll take him!
