Ernie Smuntz quotes

View Quote No capers? But that's just grilled cheese. What's the point? Why don't they eat out of a trough? [He rings a counter-bell, looking around at the diner's customers] Alright! Which one of you palateless sheep sent my sandwich back?

View Quote Yeah, I was on top once, too. And there's only one way to go from there, and that's down, baby! Down!

View Quote I don't think we're dealing with an ordinary mouse.

View Quote Hasta la vista, you little rat bastard!

View Quote Pop's lucky string! That son of a bitch ate it!

View Quote [when Lars accidentally hits Ernie with a broom] What are you doing, ya stupid nitwit?!

View Quote [when Lars accidentally smacks Ernie's hand with a hammer] Are you trying to kill me?!

View Quote [holding a tiny box, addressed to Fidel Castro in Havana, Cuba] Aw... I forgot to put holes in the box! [He chuckles evilly]

View Quote [Upon seeing the box, returned for insufficient postage] I told you, you should have weighed him.

View Quote [Doing taste tests with the mouse] Here you go, knock yourself out. [The mouse takes a bite of the string cheese and throws it down] No good, huh? Otis, more curry! [He gives him the next string cheese] Okay, try this one. [He eats it all up] Eh? It's mozzarella and herring. You can taste the herring, right? I've also got a great idea for a caviar-brie swirl and a peanut butter and jelly-provolone for the kids. But I really want to talk about marketing. You should be our spokesperson. I know some people who have used a mouse as a spokesperson and it seemed to work out pretty well...