Dude: you need to stop sitting on the fence with this.

But what if I end up regretting it a week later, and then I can’t get her back?

You don’t want her back!

I might!

So then you can bitch to us for that week about how much you regret it, and we'll be like “Dude: you’ve been wanting out of this absurd relationship for the last year,”and you’ll be like “oh shit, that’s right” and then you can find some new chick who actually likes sex and who doesn’t drag you through a million hoops a day.

Do you think a masochistic part of you is playing this drama out to distract you from the work you actually need to be doing?

And what work do I actually need to do, Josh?

Uhhh – your prospectus maybe? I dunno. Your PhD...?

[Waitress brings the check]

Whenever you guys are ready.

Thank you.

[She smiles at Christian]

Thank you.

Dude. You could be getting that girl pregnant right now.

And don’t forget all the Swedish women you can impregnate in June.

Yeah, dude – don’t forget all the Swedish milkmaids.