Most scenes together: Jonathan Mardukas & Jack Walsh (6), Jack Walsh & Eddie Moscone (3)
Let me tell you something, asshole. I've been working on this Jimmy Serrano thing for about six years; Mardukas is my shot. I'm gonna bring him into federal court, and I don't want any third-rate rent-a-thug who couldn't cut it as a cop in Chicago bringing him to LA on some bullshit local charge. Do I make myself understood?
Can I ask you something? These sunglasses, they're really nice: are they government-issued, or all you guys go to the same store to get them?
Whatta ya, a comedian? Get outta here, you bum!
Fear of flying, you son of a bitch?! Get back here, you son of a bitch! Get over here. Stop! Fear of flying, my ass! You son of a bitch, get out! You're a goddamn pilot, you son of a bitch?!!
I didn't feel it was appropriate to share that with you.
I can't keep you cuffed on a commercial flight, and I gotta check my gun with my luggage, but you **** with me once and I'm gonna break your neck.
I can't fly.
What?
You heard me, I can't fly.
No, no, no. You're going to have to do better than that, pal.
No, I don't have to do better than that, because it's the truth, I can't fly: I suffer from aviaphobia.
What does that mean?
It means I can't fly. I also suffer from acrophobia and claustrophobia.
I'll tell you what: if you don't cooperate, you're gonna suffer from "fistophobia".
I know my rights. You owe me phone calls.
What should be of paramount importance to you right now is not the phone calls. It's the fact that you're gonna spend ten years for impersonating a federal agent.
Ten years for impersonating a fed, huh?
Ten years.
How comes no one's after you?
Jimmy. There's something I've been wanting to say to you for ten years.
Yeah, and what's that!?
Where am I? I'm in Boise, Idaho. No, no, no, wait a minute, I'm in Anchorage, Alaska. No, no, wait, I'm in Casper, Wyoming. I'm in the lobby of a Howard Johnson's and I'm wearing a pink carnation.
What the **** are you talking about?
I am not talking to you, I am talking to the other guys.
What other guys?
Well, let me describe the scene to you. There are these guys, see? They've probably been up for like two days. They stink of B.O., they have coffee breath, they're constipated from sittin' on their asses for so long, they're sitting in a van, and they're probably parked right up the street from your office, Eddie. YOUR PHONE IS TAPPED!
We are driving now, and I only have enough cash to get to Amarillo. We had to scrap the bus.
**** the bus! I wanna know what happened to the goddamn plane!
He doesn't like to fly.
He doesn't like to fly?! What the **** does that mean?! Listen to me, Jack! You gotta be back here in less than two and a half ****in' days! A half million dollars of my money, what the **** is goin' on there?!!
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, I swear to God, don't start with me now or I will shoot him and I will dump him in a ****in' swamp! [vigorously shakes his head at Mardukas]
I thought you said this guy was gonna be on the plane.
Tony Darvo That's the information we got.
"That's the information we got." I'm gonna tell you something. I want this guy taken out, and I want him taken out fast. You and that other dummy better start getting more personally involved in your work, or I'm gonna stab you through the heart with a **** pencil. You understand?
Come on, cigarettes are killers.
So are women.
Did she hurt you, Jack?
Yeah, she did.
I'm sorry.
What're you sorry about?
I'm sorry you're hurt.
I'm not hurt.
You just said you were hurt.
I'm not hurt.
You just said you were hurt!
I didn't say I was hurt, YOU said I was hurt.
I asked you if you were hurt and you said "Yeah, I'm hurt."
That's because you made me say it. Startin' to put words in my mouth.
Jack, you're a grown man. You're in control of your own words.
You're goddamn right I am. Now here come two words for you: Shut the **** up.
I got money, y'know.
I'm sure you do.
I'll give you whatever you want.
Start by shutting up. I know you all of two minutes and already I don't like ya.
Gee, that's too bad. I really like you.
You lied to me first!
What the - -YOU LIED TO ME FIRST!
Yes! Yes. But you didn't know I was lying to you when you lied to me down by the river. So as far as you knew, you lied to me first!
How can I argue with this guy. I don't know what the **** he's talking about.
How much are you getting for me?
I don't think that's any of your concern, but I'll tell you, just... to tell you. $100,000.
$100,000? Does that mean you'll take $100,000 to let me go?
Not by a long shot.
$200,000?
I never took a payoff in my life, and I'm not gonna start with someone like you.
Why not?
Because you're a **** criminal, and you deserve to go where you're going. I'm gonna take you there. And if I hear any more shit outta you, I'm gonna **** bust your head, and I'm gonna put you back in that **** hole, and I'm gonna stick your head in that **** toilet bowl and I'm gonna make it stay there.
Guess who I'm with? I'm with the Duke.
Where the hell are you?
Where am I? I'm at the airport. And guess who I'm with? I'm with the Duke!
You got him! [thumps the desk with a fist] You got him, Jack! I love you!
Yeah. You wanna say hello?
Yeah, put him on!
Say hello.
Hello.
Hello, you son of a bitch! We got you, you son of a bitch!
Now say good-bye, ya lying little piece of shit, because I'm lettin' him go! [hangs up]
