"How to Fake Like You Are Nice and Caring"
Frank T.J. Mackey
Tom Cruise · 10 quotes
Jim Kurring
John C. Reilly · 9 quotes
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
William H. Macy · 8 quotes
Claudia Gator
Melora Walters · 3 quotes
Earl Partridge
Jason Robards · 3 quotes
Narrator
Ricky Jay · 2 quotes
Magnolia quotes
Page 1 of 4...whatever you wanna tell me, whatever you think might scare me, won't... and I will listen... I will be a good listener to you if that's what you want... and you know, you know... I won't judge you... I can do that sometimes, I know, but I won't... I can... listen to you and you shouldn't be scared of scaring me off or anything that you might think I'll think or on and on and just say it and I'll listen to you...
Avi Solomon Donnie, You got struck by lightning last summer you were on vacation in Tahoe, I don't think braces is a good idea.
Burt Ramsey We met upon the level, departing on the square.
Dixon
When the sunshine don't work, the good Lord bring the rain in.
I'll tell you the greatest regret of my life: I let my love go.
Jimmy Gator
The book says, we might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us.
Phil Parma
Why are frogs falling from the sky?
Stanley Spector This happens. This is something that happens.
Stanley Spector You need to start being nicer to me.
Burt Ramsey You smell like trouble.
Jimmy Gator
I'm **** hammered, Burt.
Gwenovier What are you doing?
I'm quietly judging you.
Now, some neighbors claimed they heard screaming and a loud crash.
Marcie I don't even know no loud crash.
Linda Partridge
[to her lawyer]
I have to tell you something, I have something to tell you. I want to change his will. Can I change his will? I need to....No, no, no, you see, uhm, I never loved him. I never loved him. Earl. When I met him, when I started, I met him, I **** him, and I married him because I wanted his money. Do you understand? I'm telling you this. I've never told anyone, I didn't love him, but now, you know, I know I'm in that will. I mean, we're all there together. We made that **** thing and all the money I'll get. And I don't want it, because I love him so much now. I've fallen in love with him now for real as he's dying. And, uhm, I look at him, and he's about to go, Alan. He's moments. I took care of him through this, Alan. What now, then? I don't want him to die. I didn't love him when we met, and I did so many bad things to him that he doesn't know. Things that I want to confess to him, but now I do. I love him....This isn't any **** medication talking! This isn't -- I don't know, I don't know. Can you give me nothing? You, you have power of attorney! Can you go, can you go in the final **** moments and change the will? I-I don't want any money. I couldn't live with myself with this thing that I've done. I've done so many bad things. I **** around. I **** cheated on him. I **** cheated on him, Alan! There. There. You're his lawyer, our lawyer. I am his wife. We are married. I broke the contract of marriage. I **** around on him many times. I sucked other men's ****...
Alan Kligman
Linda, stop. Now you take a moment, you breathe, and one thing at a time.
Linda Partridge
Shut the **** up.
Alan Kligman
You know what would help you, Linda?
Linda Partridge
Shut the **** up. Shut the **** up.
Alan Kligman
You need to sober up.
Linda Partridge
Now, you must really shut the **** up now, please - shut the **** up.
Alan Kligman
Linda.
Linda Partridge
I have to go.
Alan Kligman
Let me call you a car, Linda.
Linda Partridge
Shut the **** up.
Phil Parma
When was the last time you talked to your son?
...I don't know. Ten, maybe... five... [moans]... that's another thing that goes...
Phil Parma
Your memory?
Time lines, you know? I remember things, but not... right there, you know?
Phil Parma
Yeah.
"Yeah". The **** do you know?
Phil Parma
I've seen it before.
Yeah, other assholes like me.
Phil Parma
Oh, there's no asshole like you.
****.
Phil Parma
How come every other word you use is either "****", "shitballs" or "****"?
Do me a personal favor.
Phil Parma
Go **** myself?
Yeah, you got it.