Merry
[Merry and Pippin are sitting on a section of Isengard's wall, smoking and eating]
It's good. Definitely from the Shire. Longbottom Leaf.
Pippin
I feel... like I'm back at the Green Dragon!
Merry
[mouth is full]
Nn! Grn Dragn!
Pippin
A mug of ale in my hand... putting my feet up on a settle, after a hard day's work.
Merry
Only, you've never done a hard day's work. [They both laugh at this. They then see Gandalf approaching]
Merry
Welcome, my lords, to Isengard.
Gimli
You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you... feasting! and... and smoking!
Pippin
[With his mouth full]
We are sitting on a field of victory, enjoying a few well-earned comforts. The salted pork is particularly good.
Gimli
Salted pork...
Gandalf
[snorts]
Hnh! Hobbits!
Merry
We're under orders- from Treebeard, who's taken over management.
S Saruman
You have fought many wars and slain many men, Th?oden King, and made peace afterwards. Can we not take counsel together as we once did? Can we not have peace?
TO Th?oden
[everyone looks expectantly at Th?oden]
We shall have peace. [looks up and glares at Saruman] We shall have peace - when you answer for the burning of the Westfold, and the children that lie dead there! We shall have peace - when the lives of men whose bodies were hewn even as they lay dead against the gates of the Hornburg, are avenged! When you hang from a gibbet for the sport of your own crows - we shall have peace!
S Saruman
[notably angered]
Gibbets and crows...! Dotard! [calms and turns to Gandalf] And what do you want, Gandalf Greyhame? Let me guess - the key of Orthanc, or perhaps the keys of Barad-dûr itself; along with the crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the five wizards!
Gandalf
Your treachery has already cost many lives; thousands more are now at risk. But you could save them, Saruman. You are deep in the enemy's counsel.
S Saruman
So you have come here for information. I have some for you. [He pulls the palantir from his robes and gazes into it.] Something festers in the heart of Middle-earth, something you have failed to see. But the Great Eye has seen it. Even now he presses his advantage. His attack will come soon. [smugly] You're all going to die. But you know this, don't you, Gandalf? You cannot think that this Ranger will ever sit upon the throne of Gondor. This exile, crept from the shadows will never be crowned king. Gandalf does not hesitate to sacrifice those closest to him, those he professes to love. Tell me, what words of comfort did you give the Halfling, before you sent him to his doom? The path that you have set him on can only lead to death.
Gimli
I've heard enough! [to Legolas] Shoot him! Stick an arrow in his gob!
Gandalf
No. Come down, Saruman, and your life will be spared.
S Saruman
Save your pity and your mercy! I have no use for it! [hurls a fireball at Gandalf, who is completely unaffected]
Gandalf
Saruman, your staff is broken! [it is so]
TO Th?oden
[to Gríma]
Gríma! You need not follow him. You were not always as you are now. You were once a man of Rohan. Come down!
S Saruman
[with contempt]
A man... of Rohan? What is the house of Rohan, but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek and their brats roll on the floor with the dogs?! The victory at Helm's Deep does not belong to you, Th?oden Horsemaster. You are a lesser son of greater sires.
TO Th?oden
Gríma, come down! Be free of him!
S Saruman
Free? He will never be free.
S Saruman
Get down, cur! [hits Gríma in the face and knocks him down]
Gandalf
Saruman! You were deep in the enemy's counsel. Tell us what you know.
S Saruman
[Wormtongue pulls out his knife.]
You withdraw your guard, and I will tell you where your doom will be decided. I will not be held prisoner here!
Gandalf
[Wormtongue stabs Saruman in the back. Legolas shoots Wormtongue and he falls back. Saruman falls from the tower and onto one of his machines, a spiked wheel.]
Send word to all our allies, and to every corner of Middle-earth that still stands free. The enemy moves against us. We need to know where he will strike.
Éomer
No pauses; no spills.
Gimli
And no regurgitation!
Legolas
So, it's a drinking game?
Gimli
Last one standing wins! Heh heh heh!
Gimli
[After a few more scenes and other characters talking, we go back to Legolas and Gimli's drinking contest. Both have downed numerous glasses, and Gimli is extremely intoxicated, while Legolas seems to be unaffected]
Here's ta dwarves that go swimming - with little hairy women! Heh heh heh!
Legolas
I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. [Éomer looks at him with mock surprise] I think it's affecting me!
Gimli
What did I say? He can't hold his liquor!
Legolas
[He slurs this rather incoherently. His eyes cross, and he falls backwards off the chair. Everyone laughs.]
Game over.
Gimli
And just where do you think you're going?
A Aragron
Not this time. This time you must stay, Gimli.
Legolas
Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves?
Gimli
You might as well face it. We're going with you, laddie.
Legolas
[Reading the inscription over the cave]
The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut.
Aragorn
I do not fear death.
Gimli
[He goes in, followed by Legolas]
Well this is a thing unheard of! An Elf will go underground, whene a Dwarf dare not! Oh, I'd never hear the end of it!
[Gimli goes in] '
KO King of the Dead
Who enters my domain? [the King materialises]
Aragorn
One who will have your allegiance.
KO King of the Dead
The Dead do not suffer the living to pass.
Aragorn
You will suffer me! [the King of the Dead laughs, which echoes round the cavern. The army of the dead emerge from the far side. Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are surrounded.]
KO King of the Dead
The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead. and we dead keep it. The way is shut. Now you must die! [Legolas fires an arrow. It passes through the King as if nothing was there.]
Aragorn
I summon you to fulfill your oath.
KO King of the Dead
None but the King of Gondor may command me! [Aragorn raises Andúril, blocking the king's blow] That line was broken!
Aragorn
[holding the sword to the King's throat]
It has been remade! [pushes the king back] Fight for us, and regain your honour. [looks around at the army] What say you?
Gimli
You're wasting your time, Aragorn. They had little honour in life, they have none now in death.
Aragorn
I am Isildur's heir. Fight, and I will Hold your oaths fulfilled. What say you!
Aragorn
[the king of the Dead laughs. The army starts to vanish.]
You have my word! Fight, and I shall release you from this living death! What say you! [the army vanishes]
Gimli
Stand, you traitors! [the cavern collapses - thousands of skulls fall on the heroes]
Aragorn
Out! [the three escape. They emerge to find the Corsair ships on the river. Aragorn kneels in despair. He hears a noise from behind, and turns around. The King of the Dead emerges from the wall.]
KO King of the Dead
We fight!
Aragorn
[Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli stand at the edge of the Anduin, while the corsair ships sail by]
You may go no further. You will not enter Gondor.
CC Corsair captain
[laughing]
Who are you to deny us passage?
Aragorn
Legolas, fire a warning shot past the botswain's ear.
Gimli
And mind your aim!
Gimli
[as Legolas fires, Gimli taps the bow with his axe handle. The arrow instead kills the botswain.]
Alright, we warned you! Prepare to be boarded!
CC Corsair captain
[as the crew laughs]
Boarded? By you and whose army?
Aragorn
This army.
[The Dead Army appear behind the three and charge at the ships]
Legolas
[Legolas and Gimli are having a contest, seeing who can kill the most enemies until the battle is over]
Fifteen... sixteen...
Gimli
Seventeen... eighteen... nineteen...
Legolas
[Legolas scales a Mûmakil, eventually climbing on top and shooting the Haradrim archers at the summit]
Thirty three... thirty four...
Gimli
[Legolas runs along its back, kills it with one triple-arrow shot, and slides down its trunk to land in front of Gimli]
That still only counts as one!
Gandalf
Frodo has passed beyond my sight. The darkness is deepening.
Aragorn
If Sauron had the Ring we would know it.
Gandalf
It's only a matter of time. He's suffered a defeat, yes, but behind the walls of Mordor our enemy is regrouping.
Gimli
Let him stay there, let him rot! Why should we care?
Gandalf
Because ten thousand orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom. I've sent him to his death.
Aragorn
No. There is still hope for Frodo. He needs time, and safe passage across the plains of Gorgoroth - we can give him that.
Gimli
How?
Aragorn
Draw out Sauron's armies, empty his lands. Then we gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate.
Éomer
We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms.
Aragorn
Not for ourselves, but we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves.
Legolas
A diversion.
Gimli
Certainty of death... Small chance of success... What are we waitin' for?
Gandalf
Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait.
Aragorn
Oh, I think he will.
MO Mouth of Sauron
My Master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome. [he grins wildly] Is there any in this rout with authority to treat with me?
Gandalf
We do not come to treat with Sauron, faithless and accursed! Tell your master this. The armies of Mordor must disband. He is to depart these lands, never to return.
MO Mouth of Sauron
Aha! Old Greybeard. I have a token that I was bidden to show thee. [holds up Frodo's Mithril coat and throws it at Gandalf, who stares in horror]
Pippin
Frodo... Frodo!
Gandalf
Silence.
Merry
No!
Gandalf
Silence!
MO Mouth of Sauron
The Halfling was dear to thee, I see. Know that he suffered greatly at the hands of his host. [he looks around, grinning] Who would have thought that one so small could endure so much pain? And he did, Gandalf. He did. Aha!
MO Mouth of Sauron
[Aragorn rides forward]
And who is this? Isildur's Heir? It takes more to make a king than a broken Elvish blade.
Gimli
[With a yell of rage, Aragorn cuts the Mouth of Sauron's head off]
I guess that concludes negotiations.
Aragorn
I do not believe it! I will not!
Gimli
[Aragorn readies to take the Paths of the Dead. He leads his horse towards the entrance and passes by Gimli, who stops him]
Where do you think you're off to?
Aragorn
Not this time, Gimli. This time you must stay.
Legolas
[walks up to them, leading his horse]
Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of Dwarves?
Gimli
You may as well accept it. We're going with you, laddie.
R Rohirrim
[The Three Hunters ride into the Paths of the Dead, to the shock of the Rohirrim who all try to call them back]
Why does he leave on the eve of battle?
G Gamling
He leaves because there is no hope.
T Theoden
He leaves because he must.
G Gamling
Too few have come, we cannot defeat the armies of Mordor.
T Theoden
[shakes his head, honestly]
No, we cannot. But we will meet them in battle, nonetheless.
