John McClane Yippee-ki-yay, mother****er [partially cut in theatrical version]
Most-quoted character in Live Free or Die Hard (2007): in 29 of its 42 quotes
Most scenes with: Thomas Gabriel (6), Matt Farrell (4), The Warlock (2)
I know I'm not as smart as you guys at all this computer shit. But, hey... I'm still alive, ain't I? I mean, you've GOT to be running out of bad guys by now, right? Huh? Gabriel? Honestly, you can tell me. I mean, how does that work? Got some kind of service or something? Some kind of 800 number? 1-800-HENCHMEN? Oh, you know what? I bet you're still on hold with, "Can I get another dead Asian hooker bitch over here right away?"
More lines from John McClane
15 quotes John McClane John McClane [Rand is jumping between walls in the cooling column]
Damn hamster!
John McClane Hold still, spider-boy!
John McClane I'm going to go get my daughter and kill this guy.
John McClane That's gonna wake the neighbours.
John McClane Just another day in paradise.
John McClane Yeah I just saw it. I did it.
John McClane All right, thats enough of this kung-fu shit!
John McClane [mocking his boss]
"Can't be a uniform John!" [to bystander] Get over to a wall sir!, [continues mocking] "Feds called in a favor! All you got to do is go pick up a kid (groans) in Jersey and drive him down to D.C." How hard can that be, Huh? Can't be that hard, No, can it? No, gotta be a senior detective!
John McClane Thing like a traffic jam, throwing a car at me's gonna stop me?
John McClane Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothin'. You get shot at. Pat on the back, blah blah blah. 'That a boy.' You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. [I do this] because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so [I'm] doing it. That's what makes you that guy."
John McClane Oh, this is a bad ****in' idea.
John McClane [Climbing the SUV]
Let's just talk about this for one second [Mai punches him]
John McClane [choking Mai with chains]
There, that's not too tight is it?
John McClane Command center? [laughs] It's a basement!
Scenes with John McClane
13 scenes
John McClane I was out of bullets.
John McClane Hundreds of thousands of people die from car accidents every year. That was just, like, four more.
John McClane [Farrell has a bullet wound in his leg after being shot]
Hey, chicks dig scars.
John McClane [Farrell looks at McClane's daughter, Lucy]
Not that one.
[probing a gunshot wound in McClane's shoulder with his gun]
On your tombstone, it should say "Always at the wrong place at the wrong time."
John McClane How about... [grunts] Yippee-ki-yay... mother****er?! [grabs the gun and fires it through himself and into Gabriel]
John McClane Ah, bullshit! It's always about the money!
What I shouldn't get paid for my work? I'm working my ass off here, John!
John McClane Just sit tight asshole, I got a check for you!
What's the plan?
John McClane Find Lucy and kill everyone else.
Mai talk to me. What's going on?
John McClane Mai? Oh yeah, little Asian chick, likes to kick people? I don't think she's going to be talking to anyone for a very long time. Last time I saw her, she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft with an SUV rammed up her ass.
John McClane [Checking out a Boba Fett stand-up poster]
Nice poster.
What, like you a big fan of the Fett?
John McClane No. I was always more of a "Star Wars" guy.
Agent Johnson
Special Agent Johnson, We'll take the sedan.
John McClane Agent Johnson?
Agent Johnson
That's right. This way please.
John McClane [under his breath]
Great... (This is a reference to the original Die Hard, which featured a running gag about two unrelated special agents named Johnson.)
McClane? I thought I killed you already.
John McClane I get that sometimes.
John McClane Bowman. Bowman, did you see that? Bowman! It's a fake!
Miguel Bowman I see it. Thank God. McClane.
John McClane Bowman.
Miguel Bowman Satellite's down.
[Mai Linh is posing as an FBI agent on a line directing McClane and Farrell's car. Farrell recognizes Mai's voice]
That's her!
John McClane "Her" who?
Agent Johnson
What're you talking about?
It's them.
John McClane Are you saying it's "them" them?
I swear to you, I know her! I would know her voice anywhere! [McClane picks up his handset] Don't say anything! Don't...
John McClane Just keep your mouth shut for a minute. [speaks into the radio. Mai, along with Gabriel and several other henchmen, listen in] Hey, Metro, how's your day going over there? Gotta be pretty, uh, crazy over there, what with all those 587s, huh?
Mai Linh Yes sir; we've had to dispatch all units.
John McClane Yeah, you had to dispatch all units for all the naked people walking around? Cut the bullshit, honey, just put your boss on.
[Mai passes her headset over to Gabriel as the two FBI vehicles turn onto another street] [over radio]
Officer McClane.
John McClane It's Detective McClane, asshole. Don't worry, though, we're gonna have plenty of time to get to know each other when I come visit you in prison. [Trey begins pulling up information on McClane on his computers]
But, John, I already know so much about you: your address in Brooklyn; payments on your mortgage; how long you've been a member of the NYPD; and [looks at Holly Gennaro-McClane's license plate and other personal details] how's Holly? Well that's sad - you're divorced. Was that tough on little Jack and Lucy? [reads McClane's pension fund] Now this is sad: after 30 years I'd have thought you'd have a better pension plan than what I see here. Oh, and it gets worse: [presses a button that wipes out McClane's 401k] your 401k no longer exists! Tell you what, let me make it up to you: shoot Mr. Farrell in the head and drive away, and by the time you reach the end of the next block, all your debts will be wiped clean, and your children will be set for life.
[After McClane kills Mai, Farrell is counteracting the shutdown procedures Gabriel has initiated by sending an advertising bomb to Gabriel's computers. Gabriel rings Mai's cell phone, which McClane picks up]
Mai, talk to me. What's going on?
John McClane Mai? Oh yeah, the scrawny little Asian chick, likes to kick people? I don't think she's going to be talking to anyone for a very long time. Last time I saw her, she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft with an SUV rammed up her ass. Listen, jackass; your fire sale is over. Just pack up your little circus, or I'm gonna come and I'm gonna kick your ass.
[seethingly]
You. Have no idea. Who I am, or what. I am capable of! When I'm finished here - and I promise it'll be soon! - I will focus. All my attention. On you! You want to make things personal, fine!
John McClane: [checking out a Boba Fett stand-up poster] Nice poster.
What, like you a big fan of The Fett?
John McClane No. I was always more of a Star Wars kinda guy.
