“I heard tell once of a Jeff City lawyer who had a parrot that'd wake...”

I heard tell once of a Jeff City lawyer who had a parrot that'd wake him each morning crying out, "Today is the day the world shall end, as scripture has foretold." And one day the lawyer shot him for the sake of peace and quiet, I presume. Thus fulfilling, for the bird at least, his prophecy.

More from Lincoln

As the preacher said; "I could write shorter sermons, but once I start I get too lazy to stop." Do you think we choose the times into which we are born? Or do we fit the times we are born into? Trust? Oh. I'm sorry, I was under the misapprehension your chosen profession was politics. I never trusted the President, never trusted anyone, but hasn't he surprised you?