Braxton Belyeu I'm no more afraid of the Grim Reaper than I am of a Presbyterian on Mother's Day.
The Life of David Gale quotes
Page 1 of 2 Braxton Belyeu You work so hard not to be seen as a sex object. Before long, you're not seen at all.
Zack 73% of all serial killers vote Republican
Berlin Did I tell you that when you were circumcised they threw away the wrong part?
Yes, I believe you mentioned it. It's called schmuck.
Berlin What?
Part of the foreskin they throw away after circumcision, I believe it is called schmuck.
Berlin Aren't we so **** clever.
Berlin Sorry about being late. There was, you know, a thing.
Yeah, there usually is, Berlin.
Berlin Look, I know I'm not doing too well, and, to torture a clich?, I will do anything to pass.
Anything, huh?
Berlin Any. Thing.
Ok, Berlin.
[leans in close]
I will give you a good grade, I will give you a very, very good grade if you just [whispers into her ear] study.
You know you are in the bible belt when there are more churches than Starbucks.
Zack When there are more prisons than Starbucks.
The TA just finished transcribing all the governor's radio and TV comments. Listen to this gem: Journalist - "Governor, don't you think three executions in one week is a little excessive?" Governor - "I say let's bring them in, strap them down, and rock and roll."
Oh, it's good to know our governor is in touch with his inner frat boy.
You wanna tell me what's up?
Nothing. Everything. Something profoundly stupid happened last night.
I hope you used a condom.
It was Berlin.
Oh great! Oh, that's great. I can hear the grapevine now. "They had to suspend her so that Gale could dick her with a conscience." A power differential equals coercion. That is great. You're so weak!
You know, you're not my wife, Constance. Thank God!
Oh, well, don't worry. It's not a position I aspire to, so **** you.
How do we start?
We start with... you telling me what I'm doing here.
No one who looks through that glass sees a person. They see a crime. I'm not David Gale. I'm a murderer and a rapist... four days shy of his execution.
Governor Hardin
Alan, let me say something I always say and I'm gonna keep on saying. And that is that I HATE killin'. That's why my administration is willing to kill to stop it.
So, you don't subscribe to the idea that 'a good state is the one that protects its most despised members?'
Governor Hardin
It's a nice liberal idea. But, like most nice liberal ideas, naive.
It's a quote from you, Governor. From your first state attorney campaign
Governor Hardin
[flustered]
You've got me, Professor. But let me, in my defense, offer YOU a quote. Winston Churchill: 'If you're not a liberal at twenty, you have no heart, if you're still a liberal at thirty, you've got no brain.'
[studio audience laughs]
So, basically, you feel, to choose another quote, 'a healthy society must stop at nothing to cleanse itself of evil.'
Governor Hardin
Well, yes. I'd have to agree. [laughs] Did I say that too?
No sir, that was Hitler.
[Giving a lecture to his college students]
Fantasies have to be unrealistic. Because the minute- the second- that you get what you want, you don't- you can't- want it anymore.
[Giving a lecture to his college students]
Living by your wants will never make you happy; what it means to be fully human is to strive to live by ideas and ideals and not to measure your life by what you ever attain in terms of your desires but those small moments of integrity, compassion, rationality, even self-sacrifice.
[while drunk]
Socrates was ugly, Plato was fat, and, um, and Aristotle was a prissy dresser!
Alejandro, the woman with facial hair, has no job.
Death is a gift.