Alex Rogan There's gotta be a perfectly logical explanation for all this.
Played by Lance Guest 
The Last Starfighter (1984) · 49 quotes
The Last Starfighter (1984) · 49 quotes
Most-quoted character in The Last Starfighter (1984): in 25 of its 49 quotes
Most scenes with: Grig (6), Centauri (6), Beta (5)
Maybe there is a Starfighter left.
More lines from Alex Rogan
3 quotes Alex Rogan Alex Rogan [to an alien]
I'm sorry, it was an accident. I didn't mean to step on your, uh, whatever that is.
Alex Rogan Terrific. I'm about to get killed a million miles fron nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.
Scenes with Alex Rogan
21 scenes Alex Rogan Otis, I just never had a chance to have a good time around here.
Otis Things change. Always do. You'll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you gotta grab it with both hands and hold on tight!
Alex Rogan The truth is you're scared of leaving this trailer park.
I'm not scared of leaving this trailer park, Alex.
I love you so much, Alex.
Alex Rogan I'll always love you, Maggs
Alex Rogan Store's closed, mister.
I'm not here for cigarettes or bubblegum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him?
Alex Rogan Alex Rogan, and you're lookin' at him.
Alex Rogan. [laughs]
Alex Rogan Who are you?
Centauri's the name. I invented Starfighter, which is why I'm here.
Alex Rogan It is?
Centuari
It is. We have to talk about a matter of utmost importance [gestures toward the back of his seat] Step into my office.
The amusing thing about this is, it's all a big mistake. That particular Starfighter game was supposed to be delivered to Vegas, not some fleaspeck trailer park in the middle of tumbleweeds and tarantulas. So it must be fate, destiny, blind chance, luck even, that brings us together. And as the poet said, the rest is history.
Alex Rogan Where are you going? Where are you taking me?
I told you, I want to save it for a surprise. Hey, are you kind of kid who reads the last page of a mystery first? Who pesters the magician to tell you his tricks? Who sneaks downstairs to peek at his Christmas presents? Noooo, or course you're not. [singsong voice] That's why I'm not gonna tell you!
Alex Rogan Oh, God.
Besides, I just love surprises, don't you?
Rylan Bursar
[disgustedly]
Rrrr... E sanchay!
E sanchay! Onee mat swella! Preeta! Preeta!
Alex Rogan Centauri, what's going on?
He's just saying how delighted he is that you are here, and if there's anything that he can do to make your stay more enjoyable, just give him a ring.
Alex Rogan My stay! What are you talking about? Where are we?
Welcome to Rylos, my boy!
Alex Rogan Rylos! Wait a minute... you mean, you mean... like the game?
Oh, he's quick! He's quick! He's very quick! He's speechless! So long, Alex! Have fun! May the luck of the Seven Pillars of Booloo be with you at all times. [muttering] Oh, someday these cheapskates will thank Centauri, trust me.
Rylan Bursar
Return the money, Centauri.
Return the money! Are you delirious? Do you know how long it to invent the games? To merchandise them? To get them in the stores by Christmas?
It must be terribly embarrassing for you and I do sympathize. However...
But I saw him fight! He could be the greatest Starfighter ever!
Alex Rogan That was just a game, Centauri!
A game? Well, you may have thought it was a game, but it was also a test. Aha, a test! Sent out across the universe to find those with the gift to be Starfighters. And here you are, my boy! Here you are!
Alex Rogan Right, here I am, about to be killed!
Killed! You don't seriously think it's dangerous, do you? Don't be silly! Trust me!
Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! History! Did Chris Columbus say he wanted to stay home? No! What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think that the Ulus were too ugly to save?
Alex Rogan [confused]
Who's Galoka?
Alex Rogan Listen, Centauri. I'm not any of those guys, I'm a kid from a trailer park.
If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!
Alex Rogan [calling out]
Maggie! You're never going believe this!
[slaps him, angrily]
I told you, Alex! Me and my, how did you put it, "strange sexual urges" aren't talking to you anymore!
Alex Rogan Hey, you look like me!
Of course I do. I'm a beta unit.
Alex Rogan What the hell is a beta unit?
A beta unit is a simuloid. An exact duplicate of you, only not as loud.
Wait a minute, what are you doing back?
Alex Rogan Are you kidding? It's war up there!
Oh, save the whales, but not the universe, huh?
Alex Rogan Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling ma about your Playboys!
You're blowing it, Alex.
Good luck, Alex.
Alex Rogan You too... Alex.
Alex Rogan Grig, when did the hanger go up?
I told you, when Xur attacked.
Alex Rogan And where were the Starfighters?
In the hanger.
Alex Rogan You mean they're dead?
Death is a primitive concept; I prefer to think of them as battling evil, in another dimension!
Alex Rogan In another dimension? How many are left?
Including youself?
Alex Rogan Yeah!
One!
Alex Rogan There's no fleet, no Starfighters, no plan? One ship, you me, and that's it?
Exactly. Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy: surprise attack.
Alex Rogan It'll be a slaughter!
That's the spirit!
Alex Rogan No, MY slaughter! One ship against the whole armada?
Yes, one gunstar against the armada. I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds.
Remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range... theoretically.
Alex Rogan What do you mean "theoretically"?
After all, D.B. has never been tested. It might overload the systems, blow up the ship!
Alex Rogan What are you worried about, Grig? Theoretically, we should already be dead.
[shrugs and chortles, confirming Alex's last comment was probably true]
Open Death Blossom packs, switches on.
Alex Rogan We did it.
Yes, we actually did, didn't we?
Alex Rogan The command ship!
Jane Rogan
[gestering to Alex's Gunstar ship, shocked]
Alex, what is all this?
Alex Rogan I, uh, I've been to another planet, Ma.
Alex Rogan What did you do to Maggie?!
Do to her?! We were looking up at the stars and she sticks her tongue in my ear. I screamed. I'll apologize to her tomorrow, okay?
Alex Rogan You're not gonna be here. You're going back to Centauri right now!
Alex Rogan Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Alex Rogan This reminds you of home???? [they are inside an asteroid, hiding from the armada]
Aaah, yes, I live below ground with my wifeoid and six thousand little Griglings. At least, until Xur turns them into slaves. Where does your kind live?
Alex Rogan In houses, mostly, that's caves above ground. I live in a mobile home.
What is that?
Alex Rogan It is like a cave that goes places. Only we never went anywhere.
A mobile cave that never went anywhere. Fascinating.
Alex Rogan Centauri, I thought you were dead!
Me, die? And miss all the excitement? [laughs] No, I was merely dormant while my body repaired itself. No, I won't bore you with details. Suffice it to say, you're on Rylos, my boy. Stop thinking human, that's lesson number one. [leans in] Lesson number two: You've got a good thing going here. Keep smiling, don't blow it. Lesson number three: Always trust Centauri.
