Gus quotes from Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

Lars

I was talking to Bianca, and she was saying that in her culture they have these rites of passages and rituals and ceremonies, and just all kinds of things that, when you do them, go through them, let you know that you're an adult. Doesn't that sound great?

Gus

It does.

Lars

How'd you know?

Gus

How'd I know what?

Lars

That you were a man.

Gus

Ahhh. I couldn't tell ya.

Lars

Was it... Okay, was it sex?

Gus

Um. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's uh, yeah, yeah it's kind of— it's, uh— No. Well, it's kind of sex but it's not, uh, you know? I don't know. I don't know. It's— uh... good question, good question.

Lars

Yeah, but I have to know.

Gus

Hold that thought. [goes into the basement, Lars follows] You know, you should ask Dagmar.

Lars

I did ask Dagmar. And she said that I should ask you.

Gus

Okay, you know I can only give you my opinion.

Lars

That's what we want.

Gus

Well, it's not like you're one thing or the other, okay? There's still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what's right for you, what's right for everybody, even when it hurts.

Lars

Okay, like what?

Gus

Like, you know, like, you don't jerk people around, you know, and you don't cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, you know, and you admit when you're wrong, or you try to, anyways. That's all I can think of, you know. It sounds like it's easy and for some reason it's not.

Gus

What are we doing? Why are we doing this for him?

Karin

Oh, come on. It's funny!

Gus

Is it?

Karin

I don't know. I don't know, maybe not.
[gets up, leaves]

Dagmar

Have there been any changes in the family in the last year or so?

Gus

No, everything is pretty much exactly the same except Karin is pregnant and Lars is nuts.

Dagmar

You know, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. What we call mental illness isn't always just an illness. It can be a communication; it can be a way to work something out.

Gus

Fantastic. When will it be over?

Dagmar

When he doesn't need it anymore.

Karin

How can we help?

Dagmar

Go along with it.

Karin

Oh, no. No, that's... No.

Gus

Oh, my. No, no, no. No. No, I mean, pretend that she's real? I'm not gonna do that. I mean, I can't. I'm just not gonna do it.

Dagmar

She is real.

Gus

Well...

Dagmar

She's right out there.

Gus

Right, right, I get that, but I'm just not gonna, you know...

Dagmar

You won't be able to change his mind, anyway. Bianca's in town for a reason.

Gus

But - but...

Dagmar

It's not really a choice.

Karin

Okay. Okay, all right, we'll do it, whatever it takes.

Gus

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And everyone's gonna laugh at him.

Dagmar

And you.