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Wagstaff: This college is a failure. The trouble is, we're neglecting football for education.
The Professors: [in unison] Exactly, the professor is right.
Wagstaff: Oh, I'm right, am I? Well, I'm not right. I'm wrong. I just said that to test ya. Now I know where I'm at. I'm dealing with a couple of snakes. What I meant to say was that there's too much football and not enough education.
The Professors: That's what I think.
Wagstaff: Oh, you do, do you? Well, you're wrong again. If there was a snake, you'd apologize. Where would this college be without football? Have we got a stadium?
The Professors: Yes.
Wagstaff: Have we got a college?
The Professors: Yes.
Wagstaff: Well, we can't support both. Tomorrow we start tearing down the college.
The Professors: But Professor. Where will the students sleep?
Wagstaff: Where they always sleep. In the classroom.
Secretary: Oh, Professor. The Dean of Science wants to know how soon you can see him. He says he's tired of cooling his heels out here.
Wagstaff: Tell him I'm cooling a couple of heels in here. Where were we? Oh, yeah. How much am I payin' you fellas?
Professor: $5,000 a year, but we've never been paid.
Wagstaff: Well, in that case, I'll raise you to $8,000. And a bonus. Bring your dog around, and I'll give him a bonus, too.
Secretary: The Dean is furious. He's waxing wroth.
Wagstaff: Is Roth out there, too? Tell Roth to wax the Dean for a while. [a nudge from one of the professors snaps him back to reality] It's that bad, huh?


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