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N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Baravelli: [at the speakeasy door] Who are you?
Wagstaff: I'm fine thanks, who are you?
Baravelli: I'm fine too, but you can't come in unless you give the password.
Wagstaff: Well, what is the password?
Baravelli: Aw, no! You gotta tell me. Hey, I tell what I do. I give you three guesses. It's the name of a fish.
Wagstaff: Is it Mary?
Baravelli: Ha-ha. That's-a no fish.
Wagstaff: She isn't, well, she drinks like one. Let me see. Is it sturgeon?
Baravelli: Hey you crazy! Sturgeon, he's a doctor cuts you open when-a you sick. Now I give you one more chance.
Wagstaff: I got it! Haddock!
Baravelli: That's-a funny. I gotta haddock, too.
Wagstaff: What do you take for a haddock?
Baravelli: Well-a, sometimes I take-a aspirin, sometimes I take-a calomel.
Wagstaff: Say, I'd walk a mile for a calomel.
Baravelli: You mean chocolate calomel. I like that too, but you no guess it.
[He slams the portal shut. Wagstaff knocks again, and Baravelli re-opens the portal] Baravelli: Hey, what-sa matter, you no understand English? You can't come in here unless you say 'swordfish.' Now I'll give you one more guess.
Wagstaff: [to himself] Swordfish, swordfish. [to Baravelli] I think I got it. Is it 'swordfish'?
Baravelli: Hah! That's-a it! You guess it!
Wagstaff: Pretty good, eh?
[When Baravelli opens the door and congratulates him, Wagstaff sneaks in the door and shuts it. Baravelli knocks and Wagstaff opens the portal]
Wagstaff: Whatta you want?
Baravelli: I wanna come in
Wagstaff: What's the password?
Baravelli: Ahh, you're no foolin' me. Swordfish.
Wagstaff: No, I got tired of that. I changed it. [shuts the portal]
Baravelli: [knocks on the portal again] What's the password now?
Wagstaff: Gee, I forgot it. I'd better come outside with you.
[exits and both are now locked out]


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