Oh, man. I hope they're not-- ( gasps, screams )
Home Alone 3 quotes
Alex, slammed the toilet seat down on his thing again.
Parrot
Bull's-eye.
Karen Alex! What happened?
Parrot
Three from downtown. And the crowd goes wild.
Singer
[ sings ]
Up in the morning, off to school.
Jack You should get going.
Stan
See you later, dad.
Singer
[ sings ]
To teach you the golden rule. American history and practical math.
Singer
[ sings ]
Feeling is there, body and soul. Ring, ring goes the bell.
Stan
I had nothing to do with this. I'm innocent.
Jack I'll call back.
Phone
All right.
Jack Alex!
Beaupre We are going to Chicago.
Unger In the winter? I packed tropical.
Beaupre There are 14 houses. The toy car must be in one of them. We're gonna have to search them all. We'll come back when it's light.
Unger We're gonna work houses in broad daylight?
Beaupre It's the suburbs, Mr. Unger. Nobody's home during the day.
Karen You get in that bed, young man.
Excuse me, but I saw a man in Karen Stephan's bedroom, a little older than Dad, and he was wearing butt inspection gloves.
Karen I have warned you about that telescope. You look through it long enough, you're gonna start seeing things, whether or not they're there.
Well, I guess you have to be 35 before anyone around here listens to you.
Karen Don't get smart with me, Alex. Sick or not, I am very angry with you. You caused a lot of trouble today. Dad and I have to replace a door at the Stephans'. Do you think we're happy about that?
I saw what I saw!
Jernigan [Mr. Unger and Mr. Jernigan meet Beaupre, who just found Alex's toy car, at the Alcott's house]
It's a video camera. Someone's onto us.
Unger Do you think this really matters? Chip's in the car. We're at the airport in 45 minutes.
Beaupre Where's Alice?
Alice [as she pushes a baby stroller to the Alcott's shed]
What happened?
Beaupre There's a woman in the house. I'll go back in and deal with her. Get the chip.
Jernigan [Beaupre then hands Alice the car]
Unger. What's your position?
Unger Heading down Washington Street.
Jernigan I didn't copy. Where?
Unger I said, I'm heading to Wuh-ah-ah-ah...
Unger [Jernigan runs over Unger while driving]
Stop, you nitwit!
Unger [the car stops and Unger collapses into the snow]
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you hitting me with a minivan.
Jernigan Never let your motions get the best of you. You weren't paying attention. You should have been more vigilant.
Unger You should've taken driver's ed. I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old and I'll have Burton Jernigan to thank.
Alice [Alice has just split her pants open at the rear while on a secret spy mission]
I need assistance. I'm exposed.
Mrs. Hess [as Alice locks them in Mrs. Hess' garage, intending to keep her from interfering]
What are you doing?
Alice I left my heart in San Francisco.
Heads up!
Alice [Alice finds Beaupre and Unger lying on the doorstep]
You got hit with a book?
Unger Books. Plural. A trunk full of books. And then a set of weights. We got hit twice, ya dumb broad.
Alice Excuse me, Mr. Unger. I didn't get taken down by an infant.
Beaupre We didn't anticipate the defense the boy would mount.
Beaupre [as he peeks into the mailslot of Alex's house]
You can run, but you can't hide, Junior!
Surprise!
Unger [Alex hides in the closet as Unger tries to unlock the door]
I'm coming for you, shorty, to pay you back for all the misery you caused me.
Alice Mr. Unger, what are you doing?
Unger Kid's in the closet. Scaring him a little, just before I grab him. And behind door number one...!
Unger [he opens the closet door to see Alex isn't there; just shelves stacked with towels] [disapponted]
...towels.
Jernigan Hmph.
Unger I saw this door close.
Alice Idiot.
Unger [Alex is hiding in a bag hanging from the door]
Would I make it up? Why? What's the point? We working on commission here?
Jernigan [hit in the groin by Alice's crowbar]
You smacked my winkie!
Alice Well, if you changed your shorts once in a while, maybe you wouldn't have rats in your pants!
Police Officer #1 Freeze!
Unger [in the pool frozen with Jernigan]
You gotta be kidding me.
There's a senior citizen across the street who's gonna need some soup and a doctor to look at her feet. There's two guys in our pool and a woman in our basement. The other one's gone.
Agent Stuckey [shows Alex a photo of Beaupre]
Is this him?
Yep.
Agent Stuckey For seven years, I've been after this guy. He always manages to slip away. Thanks.
Mrs. Hess I had the chicken pox when Herbert Hoover was in the White House.
[calls out to the crooks]
You're not gonna find me up there, you big, dumb, law-breaking knuckleheads!
Oh, man. I hope they're not-- ( gasps, screams )
The "it" you're referring to is my little brother.
There you go, Speedy. ( gasps )