BM Barber Martin
There. You finally look like a human being again. You shouldn't wait so long between haircuts, you cheap son of a bitch.
Walt Kowalski
Yeah. I'm surprised you're still around. I was always hoping you'd die off and they'd get someone in here that knew what the hell they were doing. Instead, you just keep hanging around like the doo-wop dago you are.
BM Barber Martin
That'll be ten bucks, Walt.
Walt Kowalski
Ten bucks? Jesus Christ. What are you, half Jew or somethin'? You keep raising the prices all the time.
BM Barber Martin
It's been ten bucks for the last five years, you hard-nosed Polack son of a bitch.
Walt Kowalski
Yeah, well keep the change.
BM Barber Martin
See you in three weeks, prick.
Walt Kowalski
Not if I see you first, dipshit.
Walt Kowalski
[about Thao]
I don't care about him.
SL Sue Lor
You hang out with him, you teach him to fix things, you saved him from that **** cousin of ours.
Walt Kowalski
Watch your language, lady.
SL Sue Lor
And you're a better man to him than our own father was. You're a good man.
Walt Kowalski
I'm not a good man. Get me another beer, Dragon Lady. This one's empty.
Walt Kowalski
[picked up Sue from a confrontation from a gang of young black males and giving her a ride home]
What's the matter with you? You trying to get yourself killed? I thought you Asian girls were supposed to be smart. Hangin' around places like that's an easy way to get you into the obituaries!
SL Sue Lor
I know, I know! Take it easy.
Walt Kowalski
And who was that goofball you were with, is he a date or something?
SL Sue Lor
Yeah...well, kind of. His name is Trey.
Walt Kowalski
Well, you shouldn't be hangin' out with him! You should be hangin' out with your own people, with all the other Humongs!
SL Sue Lor
You mean "Hmong?" No no, it's not "Humong," it's "Hmong."
Walt Kowalski
Whatever.
Walt Kowalski
Relax, zipperhead. I'm not gonna shoot you. I'd look down too, if I was you. You know, I knew you were a dipshit the first time I ever saw you, but I never thought you were worse with women than you are at stealing cars... Toad.
Walt Kowalski
What?
TV Thao Vang Lor
It's not Toad, it's Thao. My name is Thao.
Walt Kowalski
Yeah, well you're blowing it with that girl who was there. Not that I give two shits about a toad like you.
TV Thao Vang Lor
You don't know what you are talking about.
Walt Kowalski
You're wrong, eggroll, I know exactly what I'm talking about. I may not be the most pleasant person to be around, but I got the best woman who was ever on this planet to marry me. I worked at it. It was the best thing ever happened to me, hands down. But you, you know, you're letting Click-Clack, Ding-Dong and Charlie Chan just walk out with Miss "What's her face." She likes you, you know? Though I don't know why.
Walt Kowalski
Yum Yum. You know, the girl in the purple sweater. She's been looking at you all day, stupid!
TV Thao Vang Lor
You mean Youa?
Walt Kowalski
Yeah... Yum Yum... yeah... nice girl... nice girl, very charming girl... I talked with her... yeah. But you, you just let her walk out right out with the Three Stooges. And you know why? 'Cause you're a big fat pussy. Well, I gotta go. Good day, pusscake.
Walt Kowalski
What the hell is this?
Walt Kowalski
Get off my lawn.
S Smokie
Listen old man you don't wanna **** with me.
Walt Kowalski
Did you hear me? I said get off my lawn now.
S Smokie
Are you **** crazy? Go back in the house.
Walt Kowalski
Yeah? I blow a hole in your face and then I go in the house... and I sleep like a baby. You can count on that. We used to stack ****s like you five feet high in Korea... use you for sandbags.
Walt
[Walt has led Thao into his basement, as though they are preparing for revenge]
In 1952, we were sent up to take out a Chinese machine gun nest. It shredded us up pretty good. I was the only one who came back that day. [opens a chest] Not long after, they gave me a silver star... [pulls it out] Here, I want you to have it.
Walt
Well, because we all knew the dangers that night, but we went in anyway. That's the way it might be tonight. There's always a chance you don't come back.
T Thao
The hell we won't. We gonna roll up there and test the mags.
Walt
Yeah, that's foolish. That's the exact reaction they're waiting for. Go ahead, close this up. [Walks to the door]
Walt
[stops]
How many what?
T Thao
How many men did you kill in Korea?
Walt
Thirteen, maybe more.
T Thao
What was it like to kill a man?
Walt
You don't wanna know. Now close it up.
T Thao
[He leaves the basement. Thao closes the box, but hears the slam of the door closing and locking. He hurries up and hammers on the door]
Walt! Walt! What're you doing? What're you doing, huh?
Walt
Relax. You can't get out of there.
T Thao
You let me out right now. You **** let me out or I'll **** kill you!
Walt
[kicks the door to silence him]
Shut the **** up! You want to know what it's like to kill a man? Well it's goddamn awful, that's what it is. The only thing worse is getting a medal of valour for killing some poor kid that wanted to just give up, that's all. Yeah, some scared little gook just like you. I shot him right in the face with that rifle you were holding in there a while ago. There's not a day goes by that I don't think about it. You don't want that on your soul. Now I got blood on my hands. I'm soiled. That's why I'm going it alone tonight. [walks off]
T Thao
[hammering on the door again]
Walt! You take me with you right now! Let me out!
Walt
[returning]
Look, you've come a long way. And I'm proud to say that you're my friend. But you've got your whole life ahead of you. But me, I finish things. That's what I do, and I'm doing it alone. [leaves]
T Thao
[hysterical]
No! Wait! Walt! WALT! WALT! WALT!
M Monk
[Walt sees Sue being harrassed by three black youths and pulls up]
What the **** are you looking at, old man? Huh?
Walt
What the hell are you spooks up to?
M Monk
[The gang react with confusion]
You better get your ass on, honkey, while I still let you. That's what you better do.
D Duke
That's right, bitch.
M Monk
[Walt gets out the car]
What the **** you at?
Walt
[approaches and faces them]
Ever notices how you come across somebody once in a while that you shouldn't have **** with? [Spits] That's me.
M Monk
Man, you ****in' crazy, man. Get outta here, man.
TY Third youth
Why don't you get your ass up outta here before I kick your ol' wrinkly white ass?
M Monk
[Walt reaches into his jacket]
Crazy mother****er, man. What's wrong with him, man?
M Monk
[Walt draws his finger like a gun]
What the ****? This mother****er's crazy, man.
TY Third youth
What's wrong with this ****, man?
Walt
[Walt aims at each of them with his finger] [To Sue]
Get in the truck.
M Monk
[Sue tries to comply, but youths stop her]
This crazy mother****er, man. What's wrong with him, man? [laughs] He put his finger on us.
M Monk
[Walt reaches into his jacket again and this time draws a real pistol; an M1911. They all jump back in fright] [raising his palms]
Oh shit. Come on, now. Hey, pops. Come on, now.
Walt
Shut your **** face! You ****in' don't listen, do you? [to Sue] Now get in the truck.
M Monk
Go on, get in the truck now. Shit. [lowers his hands]
T Trey
Way to go, old man!
Walt
[turns his gun on him]
Shut up, pussy. What is all this "bro" shit, anyway? Want to be Super Spade or something? These guys don't want to be your bro, and I don't blame 'em. Now get your ofay Paddy ass on down the road.
Walt
[Trey runs off. Walt holsters his gun] [To the youths]
Take care, now. [Gets in his truck]
M Monk
[respectfully]
Yeah, you too.
Walt Kowalski
(While holding a gangster he had just badly beaten at gunpoint)
Alright, here's the deal: You stay away from Thao, understand? You tell your friends to stay away from Thao. And if they don't listen to you, you tell 'em you don't wanna see them anymore. That's it. Got it? (The gangster doesn't respond) I'll take that as a yes, 'cause if I have to come back here, it's gonna get **** ugly.
