N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Narrator: Emboldened with jungle juju, Ursula Stanhope went inside to break the news to her parents, who took it extremely well.
Ursula: Mother, Daddy, I love you both very much. I have something very important to tell you, and I hope you'll understand. I don't wanna marry Lyle anymore.
Arthur and Beatrice: [kindly] We understand, dear.
[Ursula sighs happily; after a pause...]
Narrator: Just kidding.
Beatrice: [screams]
Narrator: The young Miss Stanhope proceeded to spill the beans... [Ursula's conversation is sped up] ...very quickly, until she got to the important part at the end. [scene replays normally]
Ursula: And then, Lyle shot him. So Lyle is in jail, and George is with me, and I don't wanna marry Lyle anymore.
Beatrice: I knew it! It's that swinging man from the bridge. I saw you smooching on TV.
Ursula: Mother, we weren't smooching...
Beatrice: How could you do this to me? Don't you realize the cailbre of people who are going to be here?
Arthur: Calm down, Beatrice, and let her say...
Beatrice: I thought we would be introducing them to Lyle Van de Groot, not some wild man you found in the jungle!
Arthur: Beatrice, this is supposed to be her wedding, not yours.
Beatrice: So?
Arthur: Beatrice, I know you're upset, and so am I, but we can't force her to marry someone against her will.
Beatrice: Why not?
Ursula: Mom, Dad, I'm ready to go out there and apologize to everybody and tell them what really happened.
Beatrice: Absolutely not! As far as I'm concerned, you, you caught one of those viruses. Yes, one of those dreadful jungle viruses that get nice girls all confused. And if Lyle survives that awful jail, you will simply have to kiss and make up. As for this evening, we will hold our heads high and we will carry on. [Sweetly] Now, darling, where is that charming young friend of yours?

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