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Friends with Benefits (2011)

Friends with Benefits (2011) quotes

13 total quotes


View Quote Taxi Driver: Welcome to New York! Go and **** a dick!
View Quote Dylan: Breasts.
Jamie: Really? I think they're so tiny.
Dylan: They're still breasts.
Jamie: Thank you!
View Quote Dylan: I'm supposed to meet up with Jamie.
Tommy: Who's that? That headhunter?
Dylan: Uh-huh.
Tommy: What, you guys going out now?
Dylan: No, no, no, we're just friends. We're... messing around a little bit.
Tommy: What do you mean?
Dylan: Sleeping together. But it's just sex.
Tommy: That never works, bro. She's a girl. Sex always means more to them even if they don't admit it.
Dylan: Jamie's different.
Tommy: Does she have a penis where most girls have a vagina?
Dylan: No penis.
Tommy: Then she's no different.
View Quote Dylan: What do you know about women, anyway?
Tommy: Dude, I've turned down more tail than you'll ever have.
Dylan: Yeah, bro - you're gay!
Tommy: But the offers keep rolling in, naturally. Look at me! And hey, I love women. They're beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures. Smart, empathetic, far superior to men in every way. And if I had a choice, I would be with women to my dying day. But me likes ****, so I'm strickily-dickily.
View Quote Jamie: Why don't they ever a make a movie about what happens after they kiss?
Dylan: They do, it's called porn.
View Quote Police officer: This is the LAPD. You are trespassing. Get down from the sign.
Jamie: We gotta jump.
[Jamie jumps down from the sign]
Jamie: Dylan, jump!
Dylan: I'm f-frozen!
Police officer: Come on, get down! Sir, this is your last warning.
Jamie: Use the ladder!
Dylan: I have a fear of heights! Also, he-he-helicopters! They don't make sense to me!
Jamie: What do you mean you have a fear of heights? Why would you come up here?
Dylan: You called me a pu-pussy!
View Quote [after he spills coffee on his pants, Dylan is asking another employee for a replacement pair] I'm your boss! Give me your pants!
View Quote [repeated line] Still not gay?
View Quote A work ethic. I love it! That is why this country is still number one. Well, behind Germany and France and Belgium and Japan and China. Thank God for Bangladesh!
View Quote Are you trying to dig your way to China?
View Quote Everybody, this is Dylan. He's from L.A. [Everybody boos him] He's the reason I can afford all this beer! [Everybody cheers him]
View Quote I have the perfect body for Photoshop. This [face] gets more angular, these [legs] get longer and this [nose] gets way more Christian.
View Quote I'm emotionally unavailable.