Jacob Kowalski [to himself]
What did you do today, Jacob? I was inside a suitcase.
2nd most-quoted character in Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them (2016): in 19 of its 57 quotes
Most scenes with: Newt Scamander (10), Queenie Goldstein (5)
Hey! Mr. English Guy! I think your egg is hatching.
More lines from Jacob Kowalski
2 quotes Jacob Kowalski Jacob Kowalski [standing in front of a broken jewelry store window, covered with pilfered jewelry]
They went that way, officer.
Scenes with Jacob Kowalski
16 scenes
You're a Legilimens?
Mmm. Yeah. But I always have trouble with your kind. Brits. It's the accent.
Jacob You, uh, you know how to read minds?
Oh, don't worry, honey. Most guys think what you was thinkin' first time they see me.
Jacob Mr. Scamander?
Oh, call me Newt.
Jacob Newt, I don't think I'm dreaming.
What gave it away?
Jacob I ain't got the brains to make this up.
I need to get going. Find everyone who's escaped, before they get hurt.
Jacob Before they get hurt?
Yes, Mr. Kowalski. For they're currently in alien terrain surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet...Humans.
People like you, don't they, Mr. Kowalski?
Jacob Oh. Well, I'm, uh, I'm sure people like you, too, huh?
Not really, no. I annoy people.
So did you get your loan?
Jacob No. I ain't got no collateral. Stayed in the army too long, apparently.
You fought in the War?
Jacob Of course I fought in the War. Everyone fought in the War. You didn't fight in the War?
I worked mostly with dragons - Ukrainian Ironbellies - Eastern Front.
[hands Jacob a helmet, preparing him to distract the Erumpent who he's trying to get back in his case]
Put this on.
Jacob But why would I have to wear something like this?
Because your skull is susceptible to breakage under immense force.
[as he is strapping body protection on to Jacob in order to protect him while distracting the Erumpent]
Now there's absolutely nothing for you to worry about.
Jacob Tell me, has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?
Well, my philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.
Jacob [referring to Credence]
Can someone please tell me what this Obscural...Obscurius thing is? Please?
There hasn't been one for centuries.
I met one in Sudan three months ago. There used to be more of them, but they still exist. It was before wizards went underground, when we were still being hunted by Muggles. Young wizards and witches sometimes tried to suppress their magic to avoid persecution. So instead of learning to harness or control their powers, they developed what was called an Obscurus.
It's an unstable, uncontrollable dark force that busts out and attacks, and then vanishes. Obscurials can't survive long, can they?
There's no documented case of an Obscurial surviving past the age of ten. The one I met in Africa was eight when she...she was eight when she died.
Jacob What are you telling me here? That Senator Shaw was killed by a...a kid?
Jacob What, you're not gonna Obliviate me?
Of course not. You're one of us now.
Jacob [standing at the apparently empty bar]
How does a guy get a drink in this joint?
Bartender
[A bottle pops off the shelf and flies into his hand] [behind the bar]
What? Ain't you ever seen a house-elf before?
Jacob [covering]
Oh, no, no of course I have. I love house-elves. My uncle's a house elf.
Bartender
[scoffs]
Yeah...
Are all No-Majs like you?
Jacob [suave]
No, I'm the only one like me. [knocks back a shot of Gigglewater, and immediately lets out a high-pitched bark of laughter]
Jacob Sorry, Mr. Gnarlack... [punches Gnarlack in the face, knocking him to the floor] Reminds me of my foreman!
Jacob Did...Did you say school? Is there a school? A wizardry school here in, uh, America?
Of course. Ilvermorny. It's only the best wizard school in the whole world.
I think you'll find the best wizarding school in the world is Hogwarts.
Hogwash!
Jacob [about to lose his memory]
Hey. This is for the best. Yeah. I-I was...I was never even supposed to be here. I was never supposed to know...a-any of this. Everybody knows Newt only kept me around because...Hey, Newt, why did you keep me around?
Because I like you. Because you're my friend. And I'll never forget how you helped me, Jacob.
I'll come with you. We'll go somewhere. We'll go anywhere. See, I ain't never gonna find anyone like you.
Jacob There's loads like me.
No. No. There's only one like you.
Customer
Where do you get your ideas from, Mr. Kowalski?
Jacob I don't know. I don't know. [chuckles] They just come.
