Most scenes together: Don Jon & Barbara (3), Don Jon & Angela (3)
Monica Well, maybe it's all for the better.
What are ya saying?
Monica All I'm saying is, that girl, she has her own agenda. She doesn't care about Jonny, she doesn't know the first thing about him. She just wants a guy who's gonna do whatever she tells him to. It is a good thing that she broke up with you.
Thanks.
Barbara [after passionately kissing Jon]: Jon...
What?
I can't let you come inside just yet...
Why?
Barbara [talking in a low voice and seductively]: 'Cause I don't know what that would mean, you know?... I don't wanna do anything unless it means something... Don't you think it's always better when it means something?
Yeah... [keeps kissing her]
I think you should go back to school, baby...
Jon [stops kissing her, shocked]: What?
Barbara [suddenly turns around and slowly begins to dry hump on Jon]: Yeah, come on, just a night class... get your degree...
[Jon groans] Barbara [in between thrusts]: You'd be so sexy in a real job... so what'd ya say? You, me and our friends go out sometime?
Yeah...
And our families meet... huh, yeah?
Yeah!
Barbara [starts thrusting a little harder]: And you take one class for me, baby? One little class? Huh? Yeah? Yeah?
Yeah, oh!
And after that, baby, are you gonna **** me in my tight ass, baby? Please?
Jon [close to climax]: Jesus!
And maybe **** on my face? Huh, Jon? Do you wanna **** at my face?
Oh, yes!
Then come on, baby! **** for me! ****! ****! ****...
Pretty good, huh? Not bad at all!
Don't talk about vacuuming in front of me, come on!
Why, what's wrong?
Why? Because it's not sexy, that's why!
Movies and porno are different, Jon! They give awards for movies!
And they give awards for porn too.
Danny Listen, I don't like more than a handful of titty. No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I love it, but more than that, it's like, no! Shit starts to remind me of my mom or something.
Jesus Christ!
Bobby Yeah, your mom do got some big-ass titties.
Danny Don't talk about my mother.
Bobby You brought up your mother.
Monica Well, maybe it's all for the better.
What are ya saying?
Monica All I'm saying is that girl, had her own agenda. She didn't care about Jon, she didn't even know the first thing about him! She just wanted to go out with someone she knew would do what she told him too. It is a good thing that you two are no longer together.
Thanks.
Yeah. Not gonna lie. This sound - gets me hard as a ****in' rock. But I don't like to go too fast right off the bat. Yeah, I'd rather work my way into it, nice and easy. So I start off with some stills. Then, once I'm gettin' into it, I start lookin' for a video. I never actually touch my **** til I find the right clip. Then, once I do, goodbye. For the next few minutes, all the bullshit fades away and the only thing in the world is those tits, dat ass, the blowjob... the cowboy, the doggie, the money shot and that's it. I don't gotta say anything, I don't gotta do anything. I just ****in' lose myself. There's only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. And my porn. I know, the last one sounds weird, but I'm just bein' honest. Nothin' else does it for me the same way, not even real pussy. And...why do you think my boys call me 'The Don'?"
'Cause I don't know what that would mean, you know?... I don't wanna do anything unless it means something... Don't you think it's always better when it means something?...You'd be so sexy in a real job... so what'd ya say? You, me and our friends go out sometime?... And our families meet... huh, yeah?... And you take one class for me, baby? One little class? Huh? Yeah? Yeah?... and after that, are you gonna **** me in my tight ass, baby? Please?...and maybe come in my face?... Huh, Jon? You wanna come at my face?... then come on baby, **** for me! ****, ****, ****...
Alright, I'll admit: there are some downsides. Like, there's some times you find a great clip with a hot chick, and right as you're startin' to ****, it shows the guy. It's not much of a fault, really, but it still sucks, so... also, now adays, you got so much to choose from, so, finding the right clip takes a lot of time. And my time is precious to me. Yeah, I got shit to do, so...and, every once in a while, you find a clip that's so good, it's ****in' depressing. You think to yourself, "why can't real pussy be like THIS?" And, I smash new girls, all the ****in' time, always an 8, or better, and it's STILL never this good! What am I doin' wrong? Maybe it's time to try somethin' new, so...
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession. Since last Sunday I had sexual relations out of wedlock two times. I also watched pornographic videos and masturbated seventeen times. For these, and all the sins in my life, I am sorry.
I don't watch too many movies. I used to watch them a lot when I was little kid, before I could get my hand on any porn. 'Cause back then, if I wanted to see a really hot girl, my best bet was to watch a movie. Now, I don't really see the point. I dunno, I must be missin' out on somethin', because most people...eat that shit up. The pretty woman, the pretty man, love at first sight, the first kiss, the break-up, the make-up, the expensive wedding, and then they ride off into the sunset. And everyone knows it's fake, but they watch it like it's real, ****in' life!
I'm in love with Barbara. I am. And tonight, I FINALLY got to **** her. But I'm sorry to say, it's STILL not as good as porn. Tits-best ever. Ass-best ever. Blowjob-good luck. A girl that hot- she don't need to give head. For her, she just wants to go from kissing, to naked kissing, to ****, you know, "making love." And, by "making love," I mean, "missionary ****." No doggy, no cowboy...
If you wanna lose yourself, you have to lose yourself to another person. And she has to lose herself to you. It's a two-way thing.
See? This is what I'm sayin; real pussy is good, but, I'm sorry, it's not as good as porn. Tits? Great. Ass? Great. Blowjob? Sure, it's ****in' fantastic in person-if she'll do it. But in real life, if you wanna get head, you gotta give head. And I know, some guys love eating pussy, but the thing about those guys is THEY'RE ****IN' CRAZY! Don't get me wrong, I like a good pussy eating clip, but from down here, there's nothing good about this. And if she finally does decide to do you the big favor...she's in a ****in' hurry. Now, when it comes to the actual ****, first of all, condoms are terrible, they just are! But, you gotta wear one, 'cause, unlike porn, real pussy can kill you. Second of all, missionary is the worst position in all of ****! The tits lie flat, you can't see her ass-you can't really touch her ass, 'cause she's lyin' on her back. They don't want to do it from behind, 'cause they wanna look at you. Basically, it's all me doin' all the work. Money shot? No, there is no real life Money shot! Real girls won't do that shit! You just **** through the ****in' condom! So, you tell me: which looks better? This? [a clip of him having sex with a girl] Or THIS? [a clip of his porn]
