“Alright, listen up guys. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all...”

[Over the CB, as the police SWAT team closes in]

Alright, listen up guys. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring — except for the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.

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Sgt. Al Powell The man is hurting! He's alone, he's tired, he hasn't seen diddly squat from anyone down here... and you're going to stand there and tell me that he's going to give a damn about what you do to him, if he makes it out of there alive? Why don't you wake up and smell what you shovel'n? Dwayne God, I hope that's not a hostage! Special Agent Johnson Hello, this is Agent Johnson... No, the other one.