Tony Wendice [on the phone with Margot]
I'm so glad we don't have to go to Maureen's; she's such a filthy cook.
Most-quoted character in Dial M for Murder (1954): in 9 of its 18 quotes
Most scenes with: C.A. Swan (5), Mark Halliday (2)
People don't commit murder on credit.
More lines from Tony Wendice
1 quote Tony Wendice Scenes with Tony Wendice
7 scenes Tony Wendice How do you go about writing a detective story?
Well, you forget detection and concentrate on crime. Crime's the thing. And then you imagine you're going to steal something or murder somebody.
Tony Wendice Oh, is that how you do it? It's interesting.
Yes, I usually put myself in the criminal's shoes and then I keep asking myself, uh, what do I do next?
Margot Mary Wendice
Do you really believe in the perfect murder?
Mmm, yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could, uh, plan one better than most people; but I doubt if I could carry it out.
Tony Wendice Oh? Why not?
Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to; and in real life they don't... always.
Tony Wendice Hmm.
Tony Wendice No, I'm afraid my murders would be something like my bridge: I'd make some stupid mistake and never realize it until I found everybody was looking at me.
Where's the nearest police station?
Tony Wendice Opposite the church, two minutes walk.
Suppose I walk there now.
Tony Wendice What would you tell them?
Everything.
Tony Wendice Everything? All about "Mr. Adams" and "Mr. Wilson"?
I should simply tell them that you're trying to blackmail me into...
Tony Wendice Into?
...murdering your wife.
Tony Wendice I almost wish you would. When she heard that we'd have the biggest laugh of our lives.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Tony Wendice Am I?
You've told me quite a lot tonight.
Tony Wendice What of it?
Suppose I tell them how you followed her to that studio in Chelsea and watched them cooking spaghetti and all that rubbish. Wouldn't that ring a bell?
Tony Wendice Oh, it certainly would. They'd assume you'd followed her there yourself.
Me? Why should I?
Tony Wendice Why should you steal her handbag? Why should you write her all those blackmail notes? Can you prove you didn't? You certainly can't prove I did. It will be a straight case of your word against mine.
Smart, aren't you?
Tony Wendice No, not really. I've just had time to think things out. Put myself in your position. That's why I know you're going to agree.
What makes you think I'll agree?
Tony Wendice For the same reason that a donkey with a stick behind him and a carrot in front always goes forwards and not backwards.
Tell me about the carrot.
Tony Wendice It's funny to think that just a year ago, I sat in that Knightsbridge Pub actually planning to murder her. And I might have done it, if I hadn't seen something that changed my mind.
Well? What did you see?
Tony Wendice I saw you.
Tony Wendice I became curious to know you that I followed you. I followed you home that night And I've been following you ever since.
Why?
Tony Wendice Well, I was hoping that sooner or later I might catch you at something and be able to, ah...
Blackmail me?
Tony Wendice Influence you. After a few weeks, I got to know your routine. That that made it a lot easier.
Wasn't that dull work? Following me around in your spare time?
Tony Wendice To begin with... yes. But you know how it is. It's like a hobby. Once you take up a hobby, the more interesting and fascinating it becomes. You became quite fascinating. They were time that I felt you almost belonged to me.
That must have been interesting.
When would this take place?
Tony Wendice Tomorrow night.
Tomorrow! Not a chance! I've got to think this over.
Tony Wendice It has to be tomorrow. I've arranged things that way.
Where?
Tony Wendice Approximately where you're standing now.
Tony Wendice [Tony has just been caught]
As you said Mark, it might work out on paper, but... Congratulations, Inspector. Oh, by the way... [makes himself a drink] How about you, Margot?
Margot Mary Wendice
Yes, I could do with something.
Tony Wendice Mark?
So could I.
Tony Wendice I suppose you're still on duty, Inspector.
