Sebastian Valmont quotes from Cruel Intentions (1999)

We've done some pretty **** up shit in our time but this... I mean, we're destroying an innocent girl. You do realize that?

E-mail is for geeks and pedophiles.

You could be a model. It's too bad you're not sexy.

I didn't know it was asshole day at the Valmont house.

I'm sick of sleeping with these insipid Manhattan debutantes. Nothing shocks them anymore.

Dear Annette, I don't know what I could possibly say that would rectify the harm I've caused you. The truth of the matter is that being with you was the only time I have ever been happy. My whole life has been a joke. I prided myself on taking joy in others' misery. Well, it finally backfired. I succeed in hurting the first person I ever loved. Enclosed is my most prized possession. My journal. For a long time I considered it my trophy. A sordid collection of my conquests. If you really want to know the truth then please read it. No more lies. Please give me another chance. I'm a wreck without you.

You spend all your time preaching about waiting for love. Well here it is. Right in front of you, and you're going to turn your back on it. So I guess we're just ****. I'll move on. But you are going to have to live the rest of your life knowing that you've turned your back on love. And that makes you a hypocrite. Have a nice life.

Annette Hargrove

You know what your problem is? You take yourself way too seriously.

I do not.

Annette Hargrove

You should lighten up.

I am lightened, can we drop this?

Annette Hargrove

Okay. [Makes a funny, ridiculous face at Sebastian]

Will you stop that?

Stop that, it's distracting. [starts to laugh]

Annette Hargrove

Are you laughing?

No.

Annette Hargrove

No? [Makes another face, Sebastian begins to laugh and then regains control]

Annette Hargrove

It's okay, you can laugh, I promise I won't tell anyone. [smiles/smirks]

Cecile Caldwell

This sure doesn't taste like an iced tea.

It's from Long Island.

You AMAZE me.

Kathryn Merteuil

Eat me, Sebastian. It's okay for guys like you and Court to **** everyone but when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia **** Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me are you in, or are you out?

Ohh well, duty calls. Dr. Greenbalm and her daughter should make for interesting entry.

Kathryn Merteuil

Ohh, your journal. Could you be more ****?

Could you be more desperate to read it?

Kathryn Merteuil

Can I take my new car for a ride?

Kathryn, the only thing you'll be riding is me.

Kathryn Merteuil

The parental units called while you were out.

How IS your gold-digging whore of a mother enjoying Bali?

Kathryn Merteuil

She suspects your impotent, alcoholic father is diddling the maid.

Good.

Kathryn Merteuil

About that little wager of yours, count me in.

What are the term...

Kathryn Merteuil

If I win, then that hot little car of yours, is mine.

And if I win?

Kathryn Merteuil

I'll give you something you've been obsessing about ever since our parents got married.

Be, more, specific.

Kathryn Merteuil

In english; I'll **** your brains out.

Kathryn Merteuil

**** her yet?

Working on it.

Kathryn Merteuil

Loser.

Blow me.

Kathryn Merteuil

Call me later?

What shall we toast to?

Kathryn Merteuil

To my triumph.

It's not my choice of toast, but it's your call. To your triumph over Annette.

What's so funny?

Kathryn Merteuil

Silly rabbit. My triumph isn't over her. It's over you.

Come again?

Kathryn Merteuil

You were very much in love with her. And you're still in love with her. But it amused me to make you ashamed of it. You gave up on the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation. Don't you get it? You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with. And now you've completely blown it with her. I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Kathryn Merteuil

Tastes good. So I assume you've come here to make arrangements, but unfortunately, I don't **** losers.

I can't win with you.

Annette Hargrove

It isn't about winning, Sebastian.

Annette Hargrove

I'm impressed.

Well, I'm in love.

That is a lovely shirt you're wearing.

Cecile

Thanks, my dad got it for me from Australia.

How are things down under? [looks down her skirt] Blossoming, I hope?