Cool Runnings (1993) · 73 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Cool Runnings (1993): in 17 of its 73 quotes
Most scenes with: Sanka Coffie (6), Derice (5), Yul Brenner (2)
Our Father, who art in Calgary, Bobsled be thy name. Thy kingdom come, gold medals won, on Earth as it is in Turn Seven. With Liberty and Justice for Jamaica and Haile Selassie. Amen.
Irv Blitzer Just shut up, Sanka. Now maybe you haven't noticed, but we aren't exactly winning any popularity contests here. They hate me; they hate you; they hate us! Now if we're even gonna think about qualifying, we're each gonna have to sit down and take a nice deep look inside. I didn't come all this way to get my butt whipped! As a matter of fact, now that I'm here, I thought I'd do a little whipping of my own! Good night, gentlemen!
Irv Blitzer All right, Derice. Let me lay out some difficulties for you. Snow: you don't have any. It's nine hundred degrees out there. Time: you don't have any. The Olympics are in three months. And me: you don't have me. As far as I'm concerned, the sport of bobsledding no longer exists. I don't want to do it, I don't want to coach it, and most of all, and I mean most of all, I don't want to be within two thousand miles of anybody who does. Now did you follow all that?
Irv Blitzer What's the matter, you guys cold? It's not so much the heat but the humidity that will kill you.
Irv Blitzer Oh, yeah, just one little drawback to this delightful winter sport. The high-speed crash. Ooh! That hurt. Always remember, your bones will not break in a bobsled. No, no, no. They shatter.
Irv Blitzer Whether you win or lose a bobsled race, it's all about right here, the push-start! And this is where you're gonna learn about the push- start, is right here in a Volkswagen!
Irv Blitzer Come on, Kurt, what you're doing here is wrong, and you know it! Now if this is about you and me, let's lay it all down now. All right, sixteen years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life: I cheated. I was stupid. I embarrassed myself, I embarrassed my country, my friends, my family, my teammates, [points to Kurt] and my coach. Hey, if it's revenge you want, take it. Go ahead, disqualify me, banish me! Do whatever you want, but do it to me! It was me who let you down, Kurt! It wasn't my guys! They've done everything you've asked of them! And they did it with all of you laughing in their face. Hey, it doesn't matter tomorrow if they come in first or fiftieth. Those guys have earned the right to walk into that stadium and wave their nation's flag. That's the single greatest honor an athlete can ever have. That's what the Olympics are all about. Sixteen years ago I forgot that. Don't you go and do the same.
Please Mr. Blitzer, just give me a chance. If I don't have what it takes we'll forget the whole thing.
Irv Believe me kid, you do not have what it takes.
But you thought my father did.
Irv Your father was one of the toughest competitors I ever saw. He ran the hundred meters in 10 flat.
Well I'll run it in 9.9.
Irv Gentlemen, a bobsled is a simple thing.
Yeah, so's a toilet!
I know, I'm the driver right?
Irv No, you're the brake man.
No, no I'm the driver.
Irv No you're not, you're the brake man.
I'm the driver.
Irv You're not, you're the brake man.
You don't understand, I am Sanka Coffie, I am the best push-cart driver in all of Jamaica, I must drive. Do you dig where I'm coming from?
Irv Yeah I dig where you're coming from. Now dig where I'm coming from. I'm coming from two gold medals, I'm coming from nine world records in both the two and four-man events. I'm coming from ten years of intense competition with the best athletes in the world.
Thats a hell of a place to be coming from.
I'm not worried and we have good coach.
Larry I hate to say it but uh, you've got to wake up, Coach Blitzer is what's killing you. He's been useless since the day he was busted.
Whatcha mean busted?
Larry The '72 Games, guy hid weights in the front of the sled to make it go faster.
So what? It's no big deal.
Larry Having your gold medals taken away for cheating is a big deal!
Derice, let's go, we got a big meeting. [Derice leaves, then Irv speaks to Larry] Giving my kid a few pointers, Larry?
Larry Your kid's gonna need all the help he can get...[marches up to Irv] Coach.
Irv Ok guys, tonight's the night. Now in a few minutes you'll get a chance to do something no one in your country has ever done. Now I was going to save this for the Olympics but I figure if we're going to convince these judges that we are world-class sledders, than we have better look like world-class sledders. [unveils team uniforms]
So what are we going to name the sled?
How about, Taloola.
Taloola.
Sounds like a two-dollar hooker. How'd you come up with that?
Hey, that's my mother's name. [Team converses in agreement]
What's it gonna be, star? What are the people gonna be screaming when Jamaica takes the hill?
We say in kind, 'Cool Runnings.'
Beautiful, I like that.
Very strong.
Very nice, but what exactly does it mean?
Cool runnings means, peace be to journey.
Cool Runnings.
Excuse me...
We are officially...disqualified.
We must also be concerned about the potential for embarrassment.
Irv Blitzer Oh, forgive me. I didn't realize that four black guys in a bobsled could make you blush.
Kurt I think we've heard enough.
Irv Come on, Kurt, what you're doing is wrong, and you know it! Now if this is about you and me, let's get it straight right now. All right, 16 years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life - I cheated. I was stupid. I embarrassed myself, my family, my teammates, my country... [points to Kurt] and my coach. If it's revenge you want, take it. Go ahead, disqualify me, banish me! Do whatever you want, but do it to me! It was me who let you down, Kurt! It wasn't my guys! They've done everything you've asked of them! And they did it with all of you laughing in their face. Hell, it doesn't matter if they come in first or fiftieth. Those guys have earned the right to represent their country. They've earned the right to march into that stadium and wave their nation's flag. That's the single greatest honor an athlete can ever have. That's what the Olympics are about. Sixteen years ago I forgot that. Don't you go and do the same. Sorry if I interrupted your meeting.
Irv Now, a lot of coaches would be giving you one of those win-one-for-the-gipper speeches. I'm not good at that stuff, instead I thought I'd, uh, lead you in a psalm of inspiration. Let's bow our heads.
Who's the gipper?
Irv Our father who art in Calgary, bobsled be thy name, thy kingdom come, gold medals won. On Earth as it is in turn Seven. Liberty and justice for Jamaica and Haile Selassie, Amen.
Irv Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.
Hey coach, how will I know if I'm enough?
Irv When you cross that finish line, you'll know.
No, man, I'm not dead. [removes his helmet] We have to finish the race.
Irv Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
Sehr gut, Jamaica. We'll see you in four years, ja?
Yeah, man.
We split. [they laugh and hug each other]
