Garland Green quotes

View Quote "One girl... I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat."

View Quote "What if I told you 'insane' was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?"

View Quote "He's a font of misplaced rage. Name your cliche: Mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late-night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry, moments of levity actually cause him pain... give him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts."

View Quote "Define 'irony': a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane, to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash." [referring to Lynyrd Skynyrd ]

View Quote There's no medicine for what I have.