N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


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9 total quotes

Michael Newman

View Quote Ben: Hey, Dad! Look at Kevin's new Robo-Dog!
Michael: [not listening] That's nice.
Kevin: NICE? This thing's worth more than your car!
Michael: [runs over robo-dog] Not anymore it ain't!
View Quote Michael: Sorry I am late, guys. Some jackass parked his red Lamborghini in my parking space.
Prince: Prince Habeeboo drive red Lamborghini.
Michael: Oh, did I say red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.
View Quote [at the brink of death in 2029, Mike makes one last effort to reach out to his family. Ben hears Mike calling to him on the street and the entire family scrambles to him]
Mike: [to Ben] Ben, Ben. Family. Family. Family.
Ben: What?
Mike: Family. Family.... Family comes first.
Ben: [in tears] Family comes first.
Mike: Honeymoon. Honeymoon.
Ben: Honeymoon. [to his wife] I love you. [consoles with her]
Mike: Samantha. Samantha. I didn't make 200, but I love you.
Samantha: I love you.
Mike: Bill, Bill, Bill. [flips him off but he signifies an okay sign, indicating he's made peace with him. He holds Donna's hand] I'm sorry.
Morty: Michael. The note you wrote her, in your pocket. [shows note stating "Will you still love me in the morning?"]
Donna: Forever and ever, babe.
Morty: [kneels]It's time to go.
View Quote [Ben is now a full-grown man and has gone into his father's line of work. Michael looks around Ben's office and sees a picture of him with a very attractive blonde woman.]
Michael: Whoa, Ben! Way to go! Where did you find a woman like this? How did you meet her?
Ben: Uh, Dad, she is your daughter and my sister.
Michael: [taken aback at what he just said] Oh right, right! And uh, we have to protect her as the men of the family!
View Quote [Michael and Morty witness Michael being born.]
Doctor: Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Newman, you have a baby girl!
Gertrude: A girl? No wait, this is a baby boy!
Theodore: A boy? I have a son!
Gertrude: I can see why you made a mistake doctor, it has such a tiny schmeckel!
Morty: She must have some kind of super vision. Neither the doctor nor I could have identified something that small.
View Quote [Michael has agreed to his wife about going to his kids' swim meet, but the O'Doyles' showy son appears]
Kevin: Mr. Newman.
Michael: Kevin O'Doyle. Yeah. Always a pleasure.
Kevin: What kind of stereo you got in that blue piece of shit?
Michael: You know what? I never checked, Kevin.
Kevin: Yeah, well, my father's stereo is a Bose.
Michael: Your father's stereo blows? That's too bad.
Kevin: No! I said... That's not what I said!
Michael: His father's stereo blows! Whee!!! [drives off]
View Quote [Michael uses the remote to witness his summer vacation at Lake Winnepisaukee, New Hampshire, in 1976.]
Child #1: Mike, go long!
Michael: Touchdown!
Gertrude : Michael! Dinner is ready! You can invite your friends if you like.
Michael: If you want to come over to my tent to have a barbeque, you are welcome.
Child #2: Or, we could go over to my family's camper where we have a TV antenna and can watch Three's Company. [Kids elect to go to the RV, running off screen.]
Children: Three's Company! Three's Company!
[Adult Michael observes this with regret as his friends abandoned him since his parents did not have many material possessions, showing an insight to his adult personality.]
View Quote [having seen that what happened was just a dream, he makes amends with his family and prepares for their Fourth of July vacation, but sees the remote in the kitchen and reads an attached letter] Like I said, '"Good guys need a break". I know you'll do the right thing this time. Love Morty. P.S.: Your wife's rocking body still drives me crazy.' Okay, Morty. [disposes of the universal remote in the trash bin, and this time it does not reappear]
View Quote [tinkers with the remote while looking at the rearview mirror] You look like pale there, pal. Let me fix that. [changes his skin color to yellow] You're all yellow from the scurvy. Arr, captain. [picks green] Grr.. Don't get the Hulk angry. Raaaahrrr! [to purple] Oh, there's Barney. [spoof Barney theme] I love you, you love me. The jogger had giant boobies.