Joel quotes from Civil War (2024)

View Quote Don't expect to sleep. That way, if you do, it's a nice surprise.

View Quote This place is empty.

View Quote [Joel, Lee and Tony walk up to two Nationalist paramilitary sprinkling lime on corpses in a mass grave holding Bohai and Jessie hostage]
Nationalist paramilitary 1: White, there's one hung up in there.
Joel: Hey! Hey, guys. What’s happening? Guess there’s some kind of misunderstanding here.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Yeah?
Joel: Yes, sir. Those two guys over there, they’re my colleagues.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: What kind of colleagues?
Joel: Journalists, sir. We’re actually just... We’re passing through.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Passing through to where?
Joel: Charlottesville.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Charlottesville? What’s in Charlottesville?
Joel: Good hiking. I hear. Actually we are... no, we’re covering the university campus there. They started the new program. They are re-opening the school, which is a surreal feel good story.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Mm-hmm. And I guess we all need that. Right?
Joel: Yeah.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: [Referring to Bohai] This guy is your colleague?
Joel: Yeah.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: This guy here?
Joel: Yes, he’s my... [Nationalist paramilitary shoots him]
Nationalist paramilitary 2: That guy?
Joel: Sir. Just...
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Just what? Just what? You know what?
Joel: This... Just, please.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: What?
Joel: Just, please. Sir, please. Please. Sure. Yes, speak. Let us... we’re American journalists.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: You told me that already.
Joel: Okay, we... We work for Reuters.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Reuters doesn’t sound American.
Joel: It’s a news agency.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: I know what Reuters is. Sir. Okay. I’m just saying... just saying, just what?
Joel: We’re American, okay?
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Okay. What kind of American are you? Central American, South American? What?
Joel: Florida.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Florida? Central? What about you? Where are you from?
Lee: Tell him, Jessie.
Jessie: Missouri.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Missouri? The "Show-Me" state, right?
Jessie: Yes.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: You know what they call it?
Jessie: Yes.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Why do they call it the "Show-Me" state?
Jessie: I don’t know.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: You don’t know? [chuckles] It’s American. It is American. 100 percent. [to Lee] What about you? Where are you from?
Lee: Colorado.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Colorado. Colorado, Missouri. That’s what I’m talking about. It’s American. Who is this guy hiding over here? Hey. Buddy. What’s your deal? Where are you from? Huh? Where are you from? What? You can’t speak? Are you mute? You can’t speak English? Yes, you can? Yes, you can. Okay. You open your mouth and tell me where you’re from. Just make sure it’s clear **** English. Okay? Where are you from?
Tony: I’m from... I’m from Hong Kong.
Nationalist paramilitary 2: Oh, China? [shoots him] China.

View Quote Joel: Wait! Wait! I need a quote!
President: Don't let... don't let them kill me.
Joel: Yeah, that will do.

View Quote Joel: There has to be some mistake. We're American, right?
Unnamed Soldier: Okay. What kind of American are you? You don't know?

View Quote Joel: Did we just drive through a time portal?
Jessie: It's a twilight zone.